What would you do in this situation? (Apartment living.)

In My Humble Opinion
1

Okay, my downstairs neighbour is a decent enough bloke. The few times he’s turned his music up a bit more than is reasonable, he’s dialed it back when asked, with apologies.

For the past few weeks, though, his family has been staying in his apartment, and his family is something else again.

They are classless, obnoxious trash - to put it charitably. They are constantly camped out by the lobby door, smoking and shooting the shit. At first, the smoke blew straight in the lobby door, which they’d propped open, making the entire common area, up to the third floor, reek of cigarette smoke. (I’m not particularly sensitive, but this was over-the-top.) Now they’ve clued in and keep the door mostly-closed, with just junk mail to keep it from locking them out. So now we sit on the couch and the smoke blows straight in our (second storey) windows. Actually, it’s a bit better.

The patriarch of this crew is apparently permanently shirtless, with his big belly hanging down down over his pants. He’s shirtless for his morning smoke, and he’s shirtless after sunset, when we go to sleep with the bedroom window closed (despite the heat) to try to keep the racket of the lobby congregation down.

Did I mention being woken up before 8:00 Saturday morning by a screaming match about garbage?

The main irritation, though, is the door-slamming. I don’t know how many people are staying at the moment, but they keep a post of three or four at the lobby at pretty much all times, and they run back and forth to the apartment constantly, to pee, to get smokes, to get beer, whatever - and they slam the door so hard the whole place rattles, every time. The frequency is completely incomprehensible: I tried last night and discovered that it’s possible to live only taking breaths each time a door slams. It’s just the tiniest bit distracting when you’re trying to watch a movie, or something.

The door slammed four times while I typed the above sentence. I am a fast typist.

Not a complicated situation, right?

Here’s the part that’s giving me pause. First, the guy is the resident manager’s personal friend. Okay, no biggee - I would totally have no problem getting all agro about it if that were all, citing the Residential Tenancy Act and pointing out that he was legally obligated to act.

The actual thing is this: Nightmare Welfare Brood has come all the way from Nova Scotia to stay for an undetermined period of time, because their boy is in the hospital undergoing cancer treatment. Yeah, he’s not even here.

So… what do you do?

2

I don’t know Canadian tenant law, but if they are “guests” and not tenants, does that give you different options? I mean, they’re not on the lease, they’re just staying there while the tenant is in the hospital.

3

Randy and Julian have come to stay? Did they bring enough rum for everyone?

4

I had a similiar situation last week, when I found out my upstairs neighbor was away and had a whole family of very loud miscreants up there “housesitting”. I just politely called the manager and inquired about what was going to happen if one of them committed a crime. What if one of them molested my kid while he was playing outside? What if one of them broke into my apartment and raped me in the middle of the night? They’re not on the lease, nobody knows their names, and the tenant- the only person that knows who they are, is gone. Also, how does this affect the complex’s agreement to be part of a “crime-free neighborhood”, where all landlords are required by law to know the names of people living here and run background checks to make sure they’re not felons or drugdealers?

That same day when I got home from work, they were gone.

5

I think I would try to have a friendly word with your neighbor. He likely knows his family is a pain in the ass.

6

Practice your sympathetic/slightly sheepish look and go bearing weather-stripping foam. Apologize that you’re piling on them what with all the stress they’re going through, say you’re very sorry to hear about their son and also that you can’t expect them to know how loud the door is…then offer to put on the weather stripping to dampen the noise.

Then say thank you and tell them to give your best to their son.

It’s not worth it to do anything more. They’re heavy smokers dealing with a stressful time. I’m impressed they’re not smoking IN his apartment, that right there says that they have some sense of right and wrong, correct? As long as you don’t go in on the attack, guns blazing, I bet they say they’re sorry and give you a beer while you hang the weather stripping.

7

True, plus he’s got all that time in the hospital to yell at his family. :rolleyes:

8

If you trust your building manager, then I would call them and complain about the door, not the family - say it wasn’t a big deal when there was just a single guy living there but with all the traffic of an entire family it’s become disruptive. If local laws specify nighttime quiet hours, then say that you are being disrupted during that time. Don’t say anything negative about the family unless you are asked, and even then be diplomatic. Are there more than 2 apartments that share the lobby? if so, note that you might not be the only person complaining.

If you don’t trust your building manager, then you’d probably want to go with SailedTheOceanBlue’s advice, its really about who you think is the most responsible party here. Normally I would approach the neighbors first but from what you’ve said I’m guessing they’re not used to the give and take of apartment living, so there may be a risk that this will only make things worse.

9

I didn’t realize the boy with cancer is the neighbor, I thought it was another child (needles eyeroll, though).