So, let’s say you want to take a vacation on your own. You want to meet locals, so you decide to go with Airbnb, renting a room instead of a whole apartment.
You get to the apartment and meet the host, who tells you that he actually lives across town so you will have the place to yourself. You are staying four nights–he says he’ll probably see you before you leave. He shows you around and gives you some tips about things to do and places to eat. You chat a tiny bit. (Note: you both speak the same first language, so no language barrier.)
And then he comes on to you. Within 20 minutes of having met him. He seems like a nice guy, but he is immune to hints like “I’m gonna get settled in,” or “I’m married,” or “I’m going to go exploring now!” He tries to kiss you. After repeated “Please don’t”s, he stops. You go to your room until he leaves.
I wouldn’t stay there. I’d pay for that night, but I’d cancel the rest of the reservation.
If money is an issue, I’d probably check in to a Holiday Inn for that first night and then see if I can find cheaper accommodations for the remainder of the trip.
There are safer ways to hang out with the locals than living with them.
You stop dropping hints, and state clearly that you are not interested in having a personal relationship with him, and youd like to be left alone, NOW.
After “tries to kiss” after repeatedly telling him to stop all within 20 minutes of meeting? I’d go ahead and plan for my departure - but not before locating and photographing the hidden camera(s) that are likely in the room I was going to rent. Then again, if some prick tried that BS on me I’d likely have maced him, kicked him a couple times in the ribs while he was down, and if I felt I had the time I’d pull his wallet to see if my cash refund were available.
Thanks for your responses. Surprise surprise, this was not a hypothetical situation.
This guy had really great reviews, so I have been trying to figure out what the hell happened. He started out not even particularly friendly, almost business-like. I keep wondering if he had tried this before and that the “victim” just didn’t do anything about it. I posted this thread to see if other people would have done the same thing I did.
After he left I stayed for a little while, trying to figure out what to do. Every time I heard a door open in the hallway outside the apartment, I got really jumpy, thinking he had returned. So even if I had been confident he wouldn’t return, I would have been too nervous to stay. I left and went to a hotel.
He texted me a few hours later to see if everything was ok (I am pretty sure this is what he would have done with any guest). I told him that after what happened I wasn’t comfortable staying so I left. He apologized and offered to refund me. To cancel an Airnnb booking after it had started, you have to call, which I did the next day. The guy I spoke to was awesome. (If you happen to be reading this, Daniel J, you are awesome!.) I got refunded for my booking plus the first night at the hotel.
His booking was quarantined and they looked into it. From what I understand, they spoke to him and are confident that the message got through and have flagged the account. His booking still doesn’t seem to be available on Airbnb and this happened a month ago.
It put a huge damper on my trip. I still don’t get why he tried this on me and presumably not on others. But whatever.
See, I would never use airbnb in the first place for precisely that reason. You have no way of knowing who’s actually going to lurk and creep on you or worse. I can’t understand kids these days who see absolutely no danger in things like Uber and Airbnb.
So yeah, I’d GTFO and go rent a hotel room or stay in a youth hostel (marginally safer, if at all), or find an actual B&B or just anything but trying to stay here and hide in my room until creeper sees something shiny and wanders off.
I feel perfectly safe with Uber, safer than a cab in fact. I’m not exactly sure what Airbnb is, but I get the general idea. I would not feel comfortable with that idea, and prefer a hotel. Cabs suck. Hotels, for the most part, are fine. Airbnb seems to be “a solution looking for a problem.”
I can see why someone might equate them. An individual is renting out their personal home/vehicle, using the app/website/customer service tools provided by the parent company to make the connection to the customer. If I remember correctly Boyo Jim, you are currently driving for Uber, so you may be able to shed some light on why this is a false equivalency.
ETA: When traveling alone, there are times when a cab does feel unsafe. I have never tried Uber precisely because it feels very unsafe to me.
That’s why I asked Dogzilla about whether (s)he thinks a “normal” taxi is inherently unsafe. Personally I think a “normal” taxi is inherently less safe than Uber, particularly one flagged down on the street rather than dispatched from a central office.
I’ve read too many articles about either the Uber driver being assaulted or the passenger being assaulted and consider it to be the rapey option. I am not comfortable with taxis either for much the same reason – you don’t know you’ve gotten a creepy cab driver until he’s gone all creepy. I don’t like to take cabs by myself. With a companion, sure, safety in numbers. If I was out drinking with a bunch of people and someone called an Uber to get us all home, fine as long as I’m not the last one dropped off who is left alone with a total stranger for a few minutes.
That whole programming about “never be alone with a strange man or else rape is your own damn fault” apparently runs very deeply. This may be completely irrational and not supported by evidence, but I am not risking my personal safety on the idea that I might be wrong about this. Call me paranoid, I guess. But I’ve been taught since I was 3 to not get into a car with a stranger.
Ok, so taking a CAB is unsafe, not taking an Uber in particular. And while I would argue that an Uber is safer than a cab, your position is at least consistent.
I’m glad you up and left, bellybean. And also glad Airbnb was good to you and made the situation as right as possible.
I don’t want to seem like a pearl-clutcher but honestly, isn’t a stranger trying to kiss you and repeated “please don’ts” considered sexual assault? I feel like the right answer includes “report it to the police” but…I dunno, am I over-reacting?
I like staying in apartments rather than hotels when travelling so I can have the option to eat in, at least for a few meals. I liked the idea of Airbnb because of the reviews and the way communication and transactions go through the site. I wouldn’t have stayed with someone with no reviews, at least not alone, but this guy’s reviews were pretty stellar and he had been renting out the room for a while.
I still like the idea and I’ll be using Airbnb again this summer when vacationing with my husband and son.
I initially hesitated to call this sexual assault, but several people I’ve talked to have, including a counsellor I saw after this happened. (It has left me pretty shaken up.) I can’t imagine this would have been taken seriously by the police. Even rape is so rarely prosecuted.