What would you like God to say to you at the Pearly Gates?

In My Humble Opinion
21

“You know all that stuff about religion and the afterlife you heard about down there? It’s all wrong!” :smiley:

(Like Marley23, I’m an atheist and don’t expect anything of this sort to happen, but hey…)

22

“What is the Riddle of Steel?”

23

“Hey dude… that must be some wild-ass acid you took! 'Cuz you just called me God!”

Then, 9 hours later we both just laugh at the thought of me believing–even for a moment–even while tripping–that there is any such thing as God or Heaven.

24

“Yes, here you really will have a life”

25

" I really DO care about you!"

26

“The bad news is, you were wrong about me. The good news is you were right about everything else. I’d be honored to welcome your brilliance into Heaven. The library is on your left, the movie theater on your right.”

27

Ghod—

28

Atheists! Atheists? Over here please. You must be feeling a right bunch of charlies.

29

Perfect! :slight_smile:

30

“Well done my good and faithful servant.”

Eilsel
(who tries hard
but not hard enough)

31

“Didnt I tell you to be home by 2020??? Now the dinner your mother made got all cold!! You’re so grounded for the next 1000 years, young man!”

Yes, I know I’m megalomanic :smiley:

32

Come in, shoot some craps!

Lame physics joke

33

Don’t look so worried, I’ve got the internet…

34

I admire your capacity for independent thought.

35

"Wel-come! You’ve got mail!

36

Yes, I CAN read your mind and yes, I did see you doing that. But don’t worry, I do it too.

37

Well then! I’ll bet Sam himself would like the show, especially the questionnaire section. I wonder what his favorite curse word is…

38

The Same as Green bladders , only change Marylin Monroe to Buddy Holly

39

I was gonna say that. But, there were some other things I wanted to add.

“Good work on the homosexuality issue. Your Big Book Of Everything You Always Wanted To Know will tell you exactly how that drek got mixed in with my actual message. You never met Esprix[sub]*[/sub], did you? There’s another DopeFest coming up. Finally, yes you can haunt the houses where you various collections wind up.”

  • I’m not wishing premature death on Esprix. But, I gather he’s about a decade older than I. IIRC He’s aslo an atheist. I hope and feel I’m right in my beliefs. However, I admit that I have no proof and that God and heaven may just be sky pixies created by frightened human beings.
40

  1. How the hell did you get here?

  2. Sorry about that whole life thing. I was in college and I was experimenting…

  3. Welcome. I see you have already served your penance in Hell…oops…I mean Oklahoma.

  4. He who would pass through the gates of heaven must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see. What is your name? what is your quest? what is your favorite color?

  5. Crap. There goes the neighborhood.

  6. smoking or non?

  7. Dammitt! That’s the last time i leave Bob in charge while I’m on vacation!

  8. aren’t you on time for anything?