Mods, feel free to move this to IMHO if you’d like, it’s not polling, so I left it here.
So I’m undertaking a new project. I am going to sit down with friends and engage them in a frank interview. I ask them questions about myself, and they ask me questions about themselves. I’ve done this once before with someone, and it was really helpful to see her take on things.
I want to keep the questions consistant with everyone. Here’s where the Dopers come in. What would you want to know about yourself? Here’s what I have so far: [ul]
[li]What are my character stregths/weaknesses?[/li][li]Do you see me repeating negative patterns in my life? If so, what?[/li][li]What do you think causes these patterns?[/li][li]What are my strengths/weaknesses in relationships?[/li][li]What are my communcation strengths/weakenesses?[/li][/ul]
Any additions? And would you like to know what YOUR friends thought of you?
How can you not know these things about yourself? Whoever you talk to is going to put their own spin on your life… Anyway the only way to figure out most of those answers are by evaluating your reasons behind your decisions.
I want to know most how I appear to others. Why? It’s about the only POV that I really can’t experience, and to be honest, I can’t really trust people to give their honest opinions. Except Dopers, of course, they’re unbiased (they don’t like me enough to care if they hurt my feelings much, yet anyhow, that’s not necessarily a bad thing)
For the most part, I’m quite cognizant of what my weaknesses are… my strengths, perhaps not so much.
I have my own take on myself, but the concept is that you’re too close to your own life to accurately evalutate it. I know what I think my answers to my questions would be, but if three or four people answer differantly, then that’s something I’ll have to look at. And I’m not going to talk just to the people who know me best, but to a wide spectrum of people. I’ve known one guy I’m talking to for about four months, and others my whole life.
I’m with Venoma and dreamer. I’d like to know how others perceive me. Am I who I think I am?
I also think to get more consistent results, you may need to define terms like character. Some may perceive that to be morals and others may think it’s personality.
Do I come across as an overbearing SOB, or more of an energetic lighthearted, outspoken fellah.
The qualities I list myself as such:
Overbearing SOB:
[ul]
[li] I always find myself talking about how cool the military is, and how cool I think it is to be part of it.[/li][li] I always seem to find a way to relate any conversation to 'that time I was in Kuwait.[/li][li] I’ve noticed myself use my physical size to my advantage.[/li][li] I curse too much.[/li][li] While I speak lively, I almost always picture myself as a ‘grizzled veteran’, but am only 25 years old.[/li][/ul]
On the plus side
[ul]
[li] I always have an anecdote for you. Even if it’s not entirely true, it may be funny.[/li][li] I’m all about making the crowd laugh. I will always gauge the conversation to find maximum laughter content for you and the rest of my audience.[/li][li] While meeting new people is cool, I like to make a good impression. Lighthearted humor is good, but when I can show a talent I have, I will (i.e. juggling or fire-building) for everyone’s fun.[/li][/ul]
I don’t know. I think I’m barking up a tree, but I’m not sure. Go ahead. Call me a flaming asshole. At least I’ll know the truth . . .
Do I come off as snobby? Aloof? Shy? It’s hard for me to just open up to new people. I’d like to know how people who’ve just met me perceive me.
I’d honestly like to know what people think is good about me. Nothing to do with physical attributes, but what are my good qualities? What do I offer as a person? What makes people want or not want to take the time to get to know me?
Hey, I’m not in any position to call anyone who can fix my tub from 3000 miles away a flaming anything.
Let me rephrase my OP: what questions would you ask people in order to get the MOST constructive feedback? It’s nice if people think I have nice hair or whatever, but I’d really rather hear that all of my friends notice that I sabotage relationships for the excitement of drama or what-have-you. The first is nice to know, but I can act on the knowledge of the second. And if I can change the problem, woohoo! Call it a kind of serve-yourself therepy.
Good feedback on the rephrasing the “character” question, Ruby. You’re right, I’ll split that one into two questions.
Silly eunoia. I would have expected you to know that ole’ lady Swiddle is exempt from the traditional spelling rules. I march to my own phonetic drummer.
And Shirley: absolutely not. (the only correct answer to that question…EVER.)
[ol]
[li] Am I overbearing and obnoxious,[/li][li] Am I comical, lighthearted, and jovial,[/li][li] or am I useful for things you don’t know/can’t do?[/li][/ol]
And in any of the previous cases, I’d ask if I were detrimental or complimentary to you, and then further ask why. I would prefer specific examples.
I can see building fire for a DopeFest as a good thing, but then again, my incessant rambling about the Air Force could be considered overbearing and obnoxious.
Bottom line: Knowing me, do you choose to hang around with me, or do you ‘put up’ with me?
Tripler
I constantly evaluate the crowd, and adapt accordingly.
(they don’t like me enough to care if they hurt my feelings much, yet anyhow, that’s not necessarily a bad thing)
