Maybe they have an in-joke about that song that has nothing to do with you. Or they think you’re a giant lame nerd. Either way, who cares? You’re going to meet lots of people that like you and lots of people that don’t, better to not waste your energy on those who don’t.
Try to remember that you’re not half as interesting to other people as you think you are. And that’s not meant to sound mean, it’s just true. Most people (esp of college age) are so worried about what other people are thinking of THEM to spend much time noticing the little things we obsess over in ourselves.
Is this projection or transference? I can never keep them straight.
My reaction even if she held up a sign that said, ‘ONLY WEIRDOS PLAY THIS SONG’ would be to carry on living my life. You have one poodle to train for this circus called life and that is you. Don’t think about their friendship. Don’t think about her reaction. It’s over and whether you were right or you were wrong it will still be over; they’ll never think of it again, neither should you. If you find yourself thinking about it, think about a kitten or a cactus or a cactus-wearing kitten instead. Do that every time until they never occur to you again.
Repeat this process for the next 70 years of the crap others will do around you.
The solution to this situation is: DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT
That may seem dismissive, but what really is there to be gained? It may be because they didn’t like the song choice (they’re entitled to their tastes, you’re entitled to yours) it may be because for a completely different reason that is impossible to guess with the information you have at your disposal. Either way thinking on it probably won’t give you any deeper understanding of the situation and even if you could gain a deeper understanding, how would you profit by it?
Thanks for the reply. The thing is, I never said I liked it. I chose it for the class because it fit the topic really well. That’s why they should have been professional and not attributed the song to my identity in the way they did. I won’t make fun or or judge anyone for picking a “weird” song–they’re just doing it b/c it fit their presentation topic well, regardless of like or dislike. Also, that is not to say I would judge someone on their music preferences either unless they were being really hypocritical.
It’s attributed to many people, but relevant here, nonetheless: What other think of you is none of your business.
This may come with age, but as far as I’m concerned, if a person doesn’t pay my mortgage, feed me, or raise my children for me, I don’t care what they think of me.
That is a whole hell of a lot of information to glean from seeing two girls smile at each other. I think you might just be a bit too sensitive.
First off, you all are college kids, not professionals. Second of all, “attributed the song to your identity”? There you go again. See my comment above.
Thank you both – I do obsess over past incidents and the more ways to talk myself out of it, the better! My cactus-wearing kitten will be named Pokey. Or Spike.
Okay. You seem to be honing in on the “What a nerd/weirdo” judgment. It’s tough to stand up in front of others and present your work, knowing they are critiquing you, some less silently than others.
There’s been a lot of good advice so far. Here’s another takeaway. Are you a nerd? If you are, own it. Be the very best nerd you can be. If you aren’t, shake it off. She either doesn’t know you well enough or doesn’t want to know you well enough for her opinion of you to matter. And that’s okay, too.
The reaction of your audience is extremely important. Reactions from individuals in that audience don’t mean shit, unless that individual is the one evaluating your work.
It was super obvious! :rolleyes: But, hey you are the one in a sociology class…maybe you should add a psychology class also, to better identify these non-verbal cues.