I am a Sociology major and I and 2 other girls had to do a presentation on examples of sexual assault in music. My group presented today and when I started playing one of my songs (Ani Difranco’s "Gratitude, a song about a woman who is sexually assaulted), one of the girls in class smiled at one of the girls in my group (they are friends who always sit together in class) like they were making fun of me because the song was weird or embarrassing, and they obviously had not heard it before. Is that regular behavior for college aged juniors and seniors? To make fun of a folk song and of me for choosing it? I remember seeing this kind of behavior in middle school and high school, but never college. I’m kind of surprised that relationships are so superficial that when the girl in the audience smiled (in a making fun of type way) the girl in my group felt obligated to smile rudely back out of peer pressure to appear the same. Am I being too sensitive or would any of you guys find this really annoying and immature as well?
I am a Sociology major and I and 2 other girls had to do a presentation on examples of sexual assault in music. My group presented today and when I started playing one of my songs (Ani Difranco’s "Gratitude, a song about a woman who is sexually assaulted), one of the girls in class smiled at one of the girls in my group (they are friends who always sit together in class) like they were making fun of me because the song was weird or embarrassing, and they obviously had not heard it before. Is that regular behavior for college aged juniors and seniors? To make fun of a folk song and of me for choosing it? I remember seeing this kind of behavior in middle school and high school, but never college. I’m kind of surprised that relationships are so superficial that when the girl in the audience smiled (in a making fun of type way) the girl in my group felt obligated to smile rudely back out of peer pressure to appear the same. Am I being too sensitive or would any of you guys find this really annoying and immature as well?
My guess is their behaviour is a response to their own embarrassment or simply their unwillingness to hear what the songs have to say because the music isn’t their type and it would be uncool to actually be caught listening to it.
I would find it annoying and immature. If I was the same age, I would not have the courage to call them on the table for it. Having matured to being middle-aged and occasionally cranky, I’d call them on it right away. You try to embarrass me? It won’t work any more.
Also, you are looking for opinions, I wonder if this thread should be in IMHO perhaps?
I’m sorry to report that some of this type of behavior continues well beyond college, although the frequency diminishes.
This. And honestly it’s one of my biggest pet peeves. It’s condescending as all hell to pretend that these nonverbal exchanges are not obvious to anyone who observes them. And if you want them to be obvious, if you wish to cause another person embarrassment, you are an unpleasant person I want nothing to do with. My response to these sort of people is to call them out - not aggressively, but in a ''Oh, what did that look mean? Did I do something wrong?" sort of way.
If this is the biggest problem you have, congratulations.
Perhaps the girl in the audience was breaking wind and smiled out of relief. :smack:
It is not the biggest problem I have, but it is annoying that there are humans who behave that way.
Thank you for your response! I’m glad some people are seeing it from the same perspective as me and not just brushing it off as me being too sensitive. And yeah, I thought it was unprofessional of the girl in my group to smile back in a “making fun” sort of way because the teacher was right behind the girl she was smiling at! The teacher even probably noticed it.
Thank you carnut! I definitely agree with you that they may have been smiling somewhat out of embarrassment because they are uncomfortable with the song choice. The frustrating part of that is that the girl in my group who made fun of me chose the song “Blurred Lines.” My song is “stupid” or “embarrassing” yet I’m sure they both just love “Blurred Lines” and don’t have any problems with it! And also, thanks for the suggestion. I will post this question on the opinion board.
I am a Sociology major and I and 2 other girls had to do a presentation on examples of sexual assault in music. My group presented today and when I started playing one of my songs (Ani Difranco’s "Gratitude, a song about a woman who is sexually assaulted), one of the girls in class smiled at one of the girls in my group (they are friends who always sit together in class) like they were making fun of me because the song was weird or embarrassing, and they obviously had not heard it before. Is that regular behavior for college aged juniors and seniors? To make fun of a folk song and of me for choosing it? I remember seeing this kind of behavior in middle school and high school, but never college. I’m kind of surprised that relationships are so superficial that when the girl in the audience smiled (in a making fun of type way) the girl in my group felt obligated to smile rudely back out of peer pressure to appear the same. Am I being too sensitive or would any of you guys find this really annoying and immature as well?
Most often when we project motive to other peoples action, we are way, way wrong!
It’s really hard to express miff such as, ‘those people are making fun of me!’, WITHOUT appearing entirely self absorbed.
Just sayin’ !
I would not assume to presume what one girl was smiling to the other about, personally.
Yeah, I understand what you’re saying, sometimes it’s hard to tell. But in this situation it was extremely obvious.
They smiled and looked at each other. You don’t know what that smile communicated. They could have been smiling for a shit ton of reasons that have nothing to do with you.
But let’s say they were smiling because they’ve been talking shit about you for the last month, and you playing that Ani Difranco song reminded them of an inside joke about you. Who the fuck cares? Everyone’s entitled to their negative opinions and their emotions. Getting worked up about how people feel about you is just as immature as whatever crime you’re accusing them of.
But more than likely, they were laughing about something that didn’t have anything about you. Even if they were, just pretend they were. Sometimes deluding yourself is the best way to stay sane.
Maybe it is one of those situations where you had to be there? Yet again, I say it was EXTREMELY obvious what they were smiling about. They both were completely composed and then the second the song came on the girl in the audience realized the song was “weird” or “different” or whatever and looked at her friend who was standing next to me and I looked at her since she was right next to me and she smiled back in reaction to her friend like “Yeah, what a nerd.” It was obvious she was reacting to the song, like for even knowing about that song I am some type of weirdo. Yet the girl I am in the group with presents “Blurred Lines” and there’ s no laughing or smiling reaction…
Yeah, but it was super obvious she smiled in reaction to the song and how it was “weird” or whatever. She reacted immediately after the song started pretty much
Maybe they’re seeing one another and listen to a lot of Ani DiFranco in bed.
Yeah, way too sensitive there.
For all you know, they had a conversation 15 minutes before class about how Ani DiFranco wrote a song about sexual assault. Or one of them had to do an Ani DiFranco charade at last week’s sorority party.
But as a general life lesson, here’s something to remember about public speaking: Someone will hate you. Doesn’t really matter what you do. Someone will find some reason to not like you. You wore too much red, or not enough. You walked on stage with the right foot first. You remind them of their evil stepmother. You can’t let these folks get to you.