What you said. What you wanted to say.

This isn’t me posting a mundane thing about my day for the sake of it. This is me having an idea for a thread inspired by a mundane thing about my day. I expect that most people regularly find themselves in situations where they have to say something polite, non-confrontational, conversation-closing, and/or disarming, but want to say something almost invariably lacking in one or more of those qualities.

Today I was out walking when the path of two white-shirted men converged with my own. One of them tried to get my attention. I didn’t hear him at first (and had already got ahead of them by a few meters) but he repeated. I heard him and stopped in the hope that I would’t hear the words ‘spread’ ‘message’ and ‘gospel’ inserted in that order into a sentence. I hoped wrong. When my hope was dashed I simply said “Sorry, not interested” and carried on walking.

Then the guy said “Do you know anyone who would like to hear the message of the Gospel?” and I just repeated my previous statement, smiled, and walked faster.
What I wanted to do was to mention that I am an Atheist and then get all Denis Leary/Charlie Brooker/Stuart Lee on their ass and start verbally pwning them with debilitatingly awesome anti-religous logic and reasoning.

(Or just say I’m an atheist)

And to the second bit I wanted to say “If I’ve already made it clear that I don’t want to be prosthletized at, what on earth makes you think I would possibly even begin to contemplate subjecting the people I know to the same?”

But in both cases I know full well that whay would have come out of my mouth would have been way less cool than it sounded in my head. I also know that to have done those things would make me a bit of an asshole. So to be realistic I know I did the right thing. That doesn’t stop me from wanting to say something other than what I said though.

Not just in a religious context: What situations have you been in where what you said pailed in comparison to the coolness of what you wanted to say?