Wow, twickster, what a petty little rant. This woman cared enough about you to want you to share in such a special occasion and you refer to her not as a friend, but as a “former underling.” Talk about looking down your nose! Do you even realize that you come off as just as big a snob as the woman you describe in your OP?
And you have the gall to take advantage of her lavish offerings, all while being a judgmental, petty little snot about how much she actually spent on your sorry ass to be there.
Worse yet, you think of her only as an “underling,” yet profess to know enough about her personal, intimate relationships to conclude that she couldn’t possibly actually love this man.
Ehh. Ginger and i had a great wedding, exactly what we wanted, and spent a total of about 3 grand. Butlered shrimp and caviar is much less important than having YOUR wedding with the people YOU want there and doing it the way YOU want. And fuck any friends/relatives who try to tell you differently.
Well, I think that twickster was being entirely facetous with the “underling” comment. I never took that seriously.
I didn’t find twickster’s rant to be the most compelling, but perhaps because I have an aversion to big splashy weddings I could understand that portion of her rant. Oy. All that money. Oy!
But as far as the groom goes–hey–if the lady wants to marry him and feels love/fondness/whatever for him, more power to them both. My good wishes go out to their future domestic felicity.
That’s kind of ironic. My wife is from Passaic County, and my father-in-law taught in Bergen County. In fact, we have a “second reception” this weekend in Morris County. The second reception was done because most of my wife’s family was not invited to our actual wedding. It’s a complicated thing, but she’s of mixed Sicilian/German heritage, and I’m Indian. If we actually opened up the gates, we could easily have had over 500 people at our wedding, and those speculating 1000 would not necessarily be accused of crazy talk. (Well, maybe closer to 500. Airfare from India is still expensive, but she has a number of relatives who would just show up for the free food).
Part of the expense for us was that we basically had two types of catering going on - a Western buffet and an Indian buffet. We did splurge a bit on the musicians, I guess, since we eschewed a DJ in favor of a a classical trio for the wedding and a jazz trio for the reception. But it was a small price to pay to ensure that there would be no Chicken Dance at our wedding. We also had expensive invitations, though this wasn’t necessarily obvious to those who received them.
But it was definitely not a black tie/ white gown affair. In fact, both the bride and I wore dark blue. And one of our readings was Dr. Seuss.
Point being, you can spend a bunch without having a lavish affair, depending on what you’re trying to do.
I still fail to see why it’s anyone’s fucking business how much people spend on their weddings. For all anyone knows, this posh affair was entirely orchestrated by the bride’s mother and the bride really couldn’t have cared less about all the frills.
It is still extraordinarily rude, tacky and petty to partake of someone’s graciousness and then look down your nose on them behind their back for having honored you with their generosity. It’s the height of arrogance and I find it repugnant.
Tsk… I think you need a sperm donor of your own Twickster! It’s time for you to make a little bambino, get a big house in the country, and drive a luxury SUV with a baby seat strapped in the back and a Greenpeace bumper sticker.
Oh astro – I didn’t know you cared! Thanks for the lovely offer. Really.
Shayna – thank you for sharing.
Anyone who was understanding me to say I didn’t think they should get married, or that I wished them ill, or that I don’t think they’ll be happy together – apparently I didn’t communicate very well. On the contrary, great for them for finding each other and finding what they were looking for in each other.
This is what I was trying (and completely failing) to say:
There are two things that I don’t get: one is “omigod, it’s time to get married, I better find someone to pair off with” – and the other is spending tens of thousands of dollars on a fancy party. (As yosemitebabe so succinctly put it – “Oy! All that money! Oy!”)
I spent several hours yesterday meditating on the joining of those two things and being totally flabbergasted by the whole display.
your “point one” was probably not helped by the selection of thread title “true love crap” and “sperm donor”. GIven those choices that you made, I find your latest post quite the back pedal.
B; It ain’t your money in any sense of the word. (ie, I understand folks bemoaning government overspending etc.).
Yeah, right, you “don’t get it” so you post a self-righteous pit thread about it. That makes a whole lot of sense.
Calling their wedding a “display” is as rude as your assumption that the bride was untruthful in her desire to marry her unwitting sperm donor.
Perhaps it’s as simple as the fact that some people have a very strong desire to have a partner to share their lives with, so they work towards the goal of finding someone who has the same desire. Please tell me what the hell is wrong with that?
And perhaps it’s as simple as two people who want to have the “party to end all parties” to celebrate the joy they have in having found one another – and they can afford it. So what exactly is your damage if they spend their money the way they want to?
Guess what? You don’t have to get it. It’s not your money and it’s not your ‘party’. To some of us, however, it’s much MORE than a ‘party’. It’s the chance to pledge our lives to one another surrounded by a ton of our family and friends. We can spend as much or as little as we like doing it, and it still wouldn’t be your business. In my family, weddings are giant family reunions. We get together and have the best times of our lives. Every single family wedding I have ever been to, including the small ones, has been that way. And although we considered going to Vegas when we first got engaged, now, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Perhaps you could just skip out on any future ‘parties’ that you receive an invitation to - I’m sure your hosts would appreciate it.
“Well, I want to have a child before I’m thirty. I’m twenty-six now, so I have four years minus nine months for pregnancy. I want at least a years’ courtship and about a year after I’m married to get to know my husband, so that means – yikes! – I had better start hitting the bars…”
The poor dumb bastard will never know what hit him.
How would they even know that she thought this? It’s not as if she ranted at the wedding. I’m curious as to why you and others like you in this thread feel so strongly about a private rant of the OP’s
Though I quoted Ava. This post is not aimed at anyone specific, it’s just out of curiousity. I’ve seen this happen in so many pit rants.
Why is it that when someone posts a rant regarding something that someone they know has done, that all of a sudden there are all these “protectors” of said Unknown person?
Is the OP being petty, etc etc etc? Or just blowing off steam about SOME of what she felt about the affair?
Either way, how is she “getting in the business of” the rantee?
THEY have no clue she felt this way. I bet she was courteous, sweet, attentive, and I’ll just BET she even bought a decent wedding gift.
For you complainers of the complaint, you mean to tell us that you’ve NEVER privately had cranky thoughts about another’s actions EVER?
If not, wow. I’m in awe, and I mean that sincerely. The rest of us are subject to human foibles and occasional snits.
So what if the OP had some doubts and comments on this wedding?
If your former underling just went out, screwed some random fellow she met at a bar, and then got the child she wanted, would you feel better about it?
Chicago suburbs, 1997, ~100 guests, reception in lovely cabin in a big park. Catered, buffet, open bar. Total cost just over $5000. You can spend what you want to on a wedding, it all depends on where you want to spend the money. I second the Bridal Bargains recommendation.
While I agree–someone should be able to spend money in any way they see fit, some of us can’t fathom spending that much money on a similar event for ourselves, and therefore are flabbergasted when others do. Does this mean that we’d ever dream of whispering one particle of a hint of this private feeling to the people enjoying their party? Never!
I am sure others are amazed at some of the things I spend my money on. And they are entitled to their opinon–as long as they don’t rain on my parade, then I am unconcerned.
I doubt twickster was ungracious at the party and I am surprised that any of you would suggest or assume that she was.
Uhm, what the fuck are you talking about? I haven’t posted a pit rant against someone who generously included me in their guest list to an extravagant party and then turned around behind their back and basically called them a disingenuous baby machine. Nor have I commented on the event itself, just the rudeness of the poster who was so ungrateful for the kindness of a friend.
You are already being an ass don’t add fool to your repertoire.
Me thinks you’d give body parts to have the kind of wedding Twickster is complaining about. And since she vented here and not at the wedding OR in your home why is it so important to you that you keep kicking her in the crotch?
