What's it like to be a guy at a club?

I’m with you, Duke, I don’t pull those stunts anymore.

Take the thing you fear most, do it, and the courage comes afterward.

When I first started the “bar games”, I was a lot like some of the people on SDMB with confidence problems. I sometimes even bought into the whole “nice guys don’t get chicks, only assholes get chicks” routine.

As an aside:

Just do it. Hang yer balls out and go. If you get rejected, there will be another woman around later who may be interested. After a while, rejection loses its sting because the ones who actually like you make up for it. Rejection is the cost of finding a good woman.

I’m not married, but I believe nice guys get nice women if they work at it. Assholes just attract women who are attracted to assholes. Who wants that?!

Those are my insights into the thoughts of some guys at bars…

From a former “player” who was always a “nice guy” at heart, and now doesn’t mind the label “nice guy”,


I go all the time, and approach girls all the time. I get approached quite a bit as well. I don’t use any lines (or maybe, that is my line,lol).

If I see a girl I think I need to meet, I just walk over and say,
“Hi, I’m Brian, what’s your name?”…then I pay her a genuine compliment (usually tell her why I had to come meet her), like
"I noticed you have beautiful eyes and I had to come meet you"or
“you look amazing, I realized I didn’t know you and had to say hi” …etc etc.

Maybe we don’t click, and it just becomes someone I say hi to when we pass…maybe we will go out, maybe not. Maybe I will end up marrying one of these girls, but who can say :slight_smile:

At best, I meet an amazing person, at worst, I make a new acquaintance, and she gets to hear an innocent compliment.

I was never much into bars, discos, etc. in my single days; I’m just not anywhere near my best in those situations, and I knew it. There were, and are, other ways to meet women.

Bearflag, thanks for reminding me why women are more trouble than they’re worth. What a goddam hastle.