Sometimes, guys hit on me when I go out. Not a whole lot, but occasionally.
Some girls act as if this offends them, but I find it flattering, even when I’m not interested.
However, I’ve never been very good at handling guys who hit on me to whom I’m not attracted.
RandomGuy: Hi, I’m James.
Me (Smiles warmly, because it’s polite): Hi, I’m Turpentine.
RandomGuy: So…do you come here often?
Me (thinks)- Oh god, go away, you’re boring me already. THAT’S the best you can do??? “Come here often???” I don’t like the nervous way you’re presenting yourself and I don’t find you interesting. I wish you would go away.
Me: No, not very often.
RandomGuy: (Says nothing but keeps looking at me and smiling, either as if there’s something he thinks he ought to say, or else waiting for me to speak)
Me: So…this song’s pretty cool. (Grabbing at any topic of conversation, but realizing the folly in pointing out the music, because he would probably ask me to dance with such a perceived “invitation”)
RandomGuy: Oh yeah…smiles I really like Led Zeppelin but they don’t play it here…
Me: (thinks- Please please please go away…you’re boring me)
Me: Ah…that’s nice. (Nobody can dance to Led Zeppelin, that’s why they don’t play it here- idiot)
RandomGuy: Can I buy you a drink?
Me (smiles): Oh, no thank you, I’m all set.
I could go on in this vein, our conversation was dull and dry and clearly we had nothing in common. It also went on for about a half hour.
It only ended when some friends of mine waved me over and I politely excused myself.
I wish I could have handled that better. When a guy hits on me I want to be polite, but I often end up talking to the guy forever when I’m not interested.
Sometimes I wonder if a guy would prefer me to say something right away so I’m not wasting his time. But that seems so…harsh.
I mean, in that conversation I had with James, at what point should I have cut it off? And what should I have said?
“Excuse me, but you’re wasting your time- I’m not interested, sorry.”
I guess this is longer than I expected it to be, but I was wondering what it must be like for a guy at a club-
How do you choose whom to hit on?
What sort of rejection is easiest to take?
Also- does it EVER work? I mean, I have NEVER gone home with a guy I met at a club, and I have never had a single relationship where I met the guy at a club. I have made some friends, though.
I was just wondering…what is it like for those of you who look for sex or dates at a clubs? Is it difficult? Is it pointless?