What's souring your Eggnog? (December Minirants)

The BBQ Pit
61

And penguins … someone in Australia apparently makes penguin sweaters and I saw a pic, and they are inordinatley cute.

After aruBro passed I loaded his work clothes [heavy Carhart jackets, pants and shirts] and work boots, and also any other clothing and footware of his that was in good condition into my van and I handed them out when I saw guys that could use them. I did the same with a lot of my mom’s clothing [well, took it to a woman’s shelter I know of]

My favorite go to for the issue is hot tea, ginger, lemon and honey possibly with a shot of brandy. Hot mulled cider also sort of works.

Here we are fond of quiet time, and would be sitting enjoying something hot to drink and watching the view, with perhaps a good book and some music. Being introverts together can be quite peaceful.

Ouchies, I hope you get better soon. And you are quite right about how dangerous it is for cats to go under, we lost a healthy young gentleman kitteh when he went in for getting neutered. Very sad, but some cats do not respond well to the drugs :frowning:

First world whine for me - today I used hte last of a tube of EMLA goop to numb the skin over my port, and we had to get a new scrip issued and go wait for it - there was a hella line at the base pharmacy [but at least we get it absolutely free, thanks to military service … but still - did every guy on base have a cold or something?!]

62

There’s a woman I work with who is a dog breeder. She’s not THIS bad, but every couple of weeks she sends out an email saying she’ll be out of the office, needs to take one of her dogs to the vet, then will go into gory detail about what’s wrong with the dog. Y’know, “gotta run one of the dogs to the vet” is really all we need to know.

Speaking of work, it’s benefits enrollment season again. We have a few different options for our health insurance. Let’s call them plans A, B, and C. Plan A has the lowest premium and highest deductible. Plans B and C have higher premiums and lower deductibles.

In the past, the company has always kicked in a $1200 contribution to our HSA (health savings account). This year only one plan has an employer contribution, and that is plan C. So, comparing plans B and C, I can’t see any difference, other than the premiums and that C has the employer contribution. I figured out the difference in premiums between the plans, then multiplied by 26 (# of paychecks per year) and guess what? It comes out to exactly $1200! So basically if you pick plan C, the employer contribution is coming out of your own pocket. Screw that, I guess I’ll go with plan B.

63

Unhappy people are the WORST! I don’t mean people who are unhappy, I mean grow-ass fucking adults who are unhappy and want to fuck shit up for other people. Those are the worst. Fucker ruined my Christmas:

I am not my 14 y/o, P’s, biodad. But I have been in his life since he was 6, and his biodad (to be referred to as Fuckwad hereafter) moved out of state back to Massachusetts a couple years ago on the cusp of P’s pubescence and sees him about twice a year. So that makes me the male role model in his life, and for all intents and purposes his “Dad”. And I couldn’t be happier about that; he’s an absolutely FANTASTIC young man.

So P has been an XBox 360, and then PS4 gamer, but expressed an interest in getting in to PC gaming (see, I told you he’s a good boy). He was talking about wanting to buy a gaming computer when he saves up enough money, and we talked and I told him we’d get more bang for our buck if we build one together. (I tried to count last night and I think it would be my 7th). He was excited to start saving, and even decided to ask for nothing but Amazon gift cards for Christmas and his upcoming birthday to use to buy parts.

Well, I had a thought. I decided to spec out parts for an entry-level gaming machine with plenty of room to upgrade, and see if everybody who gets him gifts would be interested in participating and each buy him a part, or go together with another aunt or something on one if they’re the more expensive ones. Everybody thought that was an awesome idea, so I made an Amazon wish list and we sent it out. So I was REALLY looking forward to seeing P open his first gits and realize the PC parts were rolling in! Like seriously, THAT is what I was looking forward to this Christmas.

P’s mom also asked Fuckwad if he wanted in and/or wanted to share the list with his family as well. He said sure.

Well, Fuckwad was out to visit a couple weeks ago. Last night P said something about still wanting a computer, but not needing a keyboard or mouse.

Thafuck? Just so happens that his aunt bought those, and so they disappeared from the list.

Turns out while Fuckwad was out here, he decided to shit on everybody’s pancakes and clued P in on the plan, to the point of showing him the list. AND then gave him $500.

We’re still carrying on, but so much for the surprise :frowning:

Fuck that guy. What a fucking asshole.:frowning:

64

Just spent three and a half hours writing some stored procedure for SQL.

Forgot that the last thing I did before Thanksgiving was write the same code. At that time the source code accidentally got saved in a seldom used directory.
So this week, operating with fewer brain cells I went looking for anything that looked like some code, didn’t find it, and then decided that it must have accidentally got erased.

One and a half hours of searching, two hours of recoding.

Then, as I went to save the final version of my code it defaulted to the seldom used directory where lo and behold sat my original code.

65

The fucking Fundies and Dominionists (the so called “religious” right) are at it again with their fucking “war on Christmas”. ANNNNNDDDD there is now a supposed “war on Thanksgiving” too.

66

We get emails every two months from HR reminding staff that we are a scent free workplace.

I switched from one department to another and immediately started having bad allergic reactions - nose running non stop, itchy eyes and nose, sinuses irritated) - and could not figure out the culprit.

Until this morning, when I found out my cubicle neighbor likes to spray themselves with fancy ass rose water as a ‘refreshing pick me up!’ Asshole.

67

I’m sorry. I hope it doesn’t really ruin everything, despite the lost surprise. P is a lucky kid and you’re sure to have a good time building the PC.
Me, I’m trying to get some work done today and fantasizing about how different my life would be if everyone actually did their jobs and didn’t fuck them up. :smack:

68

I mentioned this in another thread, but damn my family and gift giving sucks.
For Xmas our little family exchanges names for gift giving. The giftee writes what they would like on a piece of paper, paper into the hat, names drawn.
My sister drew my grand-niece’s name. Grand-niece was rushed in writing her list, ended up putting down a bunch of gift cards. Sis doesn’t want to by gift cards, says they’re too generic. But they’re what grand-niece wanted…
My mom drew my sister’s name. Sis wants a Belgian waffle maker. Mom hates Belgian waffle makers, wants to buy a “normal” square waffle maker.
I kinda snapped on them both. If I ask for a unicorn, don’t give me a platypus, just because you don’t like unicorns / think unicorns are dumb. There’s a reason I would like a unicorn and not a platypus (although a platypus would be cool).
For the past few years a couple of us have tried canceling the whole gift giving thing, suggesting like white elephant games or charity donations, but we’re always outvoted.

69

At least you’re drawing names. Our family tried that once, and of course somebody flaked and didn’t get a gift for the person they drew and now we’re back to traditional “go bankrupt buying all the other adults crap they don’t even want” Christmas.

70

I work at a scent free workplace too. About a month or so ago, someone hung up rubbery plastic bars impregnated with pure stank in the restroom. I waited until I was in there by myself and buried them in the trashcan under all the paper towels. If I knew who put them in there, I’d tuck some of my cat’s litterbox presents in the back of all their desk drawers as thanks.

71

What can the burgling neighbor not afford? Looks to me like she doesn’t have to spend any money on the kids’ upkeep, etc. On the plus side for her coworkers, y’all now not to lend her anything.

72

Scent-free workplaces?

BAH-HA HA HA HA HA HA

Someone at my workplace has seen fit to purchase some fancy potpourri (I’ve been repeatedly told that it cost $20!) and place it in a large bowl in the main lobby. I didn’t know a scent could make your eyelids and the edges of your nostrils itch.

It smells like cinnamon brooms, if you’re wondering. Smells like a whole warehouse of the damned things.

73

Sounds like a trip to HR should be in the works.

74

I’m laughing because I can translate this. It’s actually kind of any easy one, although completely and totally ridiculous. The only thing is that I don’t have enough context to determine exactly what the “architect solution” and “x” is, but for the sake of translation let’s say someone recommended adding shelves to a conference room.

The translation is “We’re still trying to nail down an appointment with the contractors that are going to install that shelving in the conference room. It would help me out if you could send an email to everyone confirming you need this done right away. I’d like this taken care of this week. (Assuming I made the right guess on EOW. If you’re a cop or in the military she may want it done a lot sooner - or before she kills herself)*

A friend and I once had a contest to come up with a corporate-speak phrase that was truly impossible to parse, no matter how you looked at it. It was surprisingly difficult. The one I came up with was “You have to stay parallel with your synergy.”

*I translated EOW as End Of Week. Although there’s a chance it may mean End Of Watch. Which has two meanings, one mundane, one sort of dark.

75

Don’t have any eggnog to sour. pouts

We tried making Alton Brown’s eggnog and then left it in the fridge. For more than a year. Which should be fine. But I’m scared to try it. But don’t want to throw it out.

And I remember seeing a vegan eggnog substitute from a source I trust, but their website is now behind a paywall. I’m fairly certain I printed out the recipe. It’s in the stack o’recipes, which is about 1 ream high.

I just printed out a recipe for zucchini banana bread again, because I can’t find it.

Maybe I should sort out my recipes?

76

Good call. You might make it mad.

77

I keep starting posts in this thread, but they quickly get too long and grow tangents like branches and sometimes get complicated and less than entirely kind and also, because so much of this is my own fault, are questionably rant-worthy. The very summarized version of some of it is, I feel a little taken advantage of, but am complicit in the whole thing and suck at setting boundaries because I wish I were altruistic and generous in an unlimited and no-strings-attached way and want to make things better and easier for people, but my resources are just tapped out and there’s nothing left to give and it’s all insufficient and I’m overwhelmed and stressed and annoyed with myself and also really struggling physically which just complicates things in so many ways.

So instead of delving into all that, I’m going to complain about the fact that I’m trying to find good vegan Christmas cookies on Google and every list I can find is full of cookies that are also gluten free or high-protein or other things. I don’t need or want them to be gluten-free or low-sugar or otherwise “healthy” in any way other than being vegan. I want them to be decadent, not vague approximations of cookies.

Also, man is baking cookies an expensive idea. I’m trying to find/pick maybe three varieties- enough to make a collection without going overboard. But I don’t actually have a well-stocked kitchen with lots of (or almost any) ingredients. If I make gingerbread, I will have to buy every one of those spices. I’ll have to buy cocoa powder, sugar, cream of tartar, baking powder, vanilla, molasses… all those little things that will go into the recipes and then I’ll have 95% of a container of them left over forever. I don’t have cookie cutters or a rolling pin or parchment paper. This is meant to be a gift for someone who has been very kind to me (and my roommate), but also has vastly more money than me, so like… of course I want to do something that they’d really like, but buying them a gift seems weird and stupid because they can buy whatever they want. But homemade vegan Christmas cookies are harder to come by and seemed doable and like a good idea when I first thought of it… but honestly less so now.

But. it’s 4 AM and I can’t sleep and I hurt and as I was writing this post an autopay notification came in for a sort of unexpected bill (only unexpected because I suck and wasn’t thinking about it and thought I had already covered this month’s bills but forgot about this every-three-months one) so… without spiraling too far down the everything-else rabbit hole, a lot of things just seem pretty dire and impossible right now and maybe it will look better in the light of day but really, actually, the more I think of it… of course I can’t afford to make the stupid cookies and I won’t be able to in the morning, either. So… never mind, I guess. Rant cancelled. Except that it’s still annoying that it’s hard to find recipes that are just vegan and otherwise regular proper indulgent cookies. So the rant stands. I’ll think of something. God I hate Christmas.

78

My gf’s family does a thing where everyone brings a wrapped gift, someone opens one, the next person can “steal” from someone or open a gift. There are all sorts of rules & complications.
Meanwhile, everyone is a bit tipsy or high. One year a 13 year old nephew wound up with a mixed case of beer. I actually enjoy the game, as for some reason I always end up a winner.

79

I’m really sorry things seem to be piling up on you. I’ve been there, and it truly sucks to feel overwhelmed by everything and I also beat myself up telling myself that everyone else in the world handles all this stuff so what the hell’s wrong with me that I can’t? So know that at least one other person understands and gets it…and likely everyone has, at sometime or other.

About the cookies – yeah, they call for expensive ingredients (dried fruits, nuts, chocolate, special decorations, and stuff you have no other use for if you don’t bake a lot) – and that’s before whatever replacement ingredients you need to make them vegan. If you do decide to go on with cookies, snickerdoodles are pretty cheap. They’re as basic and plain as any cookie can be, little more than flour/sugar/butter/eggs and cinnamon, and I’ve never run into anyone who doesn’t like them.

But a cheaper and easier similar present might be old fashioned home made candy.

For example, sponge candy takes only sugar, corn syrup, vinegar, and baking soda. Sponge Candy Recipe | Epicurious

Or candied fruit peel. They take some time, but all you need is sugar and water and the peel from citrus fruit (oranges/lemons/limes/grapefruit/whatever and you even get to eat the good part yourself anyway :wink: ) Here’s a sample recipe Sweet Candied Orange and Lemon Peel Recipe

And those recipes start out vegan to begin with so no tricky substitutions to work around.

80

Dear Food Maker People,

Could you please put expiration dates that are READABLE on your stuff? Oh, and put them where I can FIND THEM!
None of these 1980 dot matrix letters and numbers that are always smashed together.