You never experienced my dove after she got into cat food. You could have used that bird for chemical warfare, except that her output would have probably violated several treaties.
So I reached peak I-don’t-need-this-shit at work a while back and announced my retirement at the end of the year. That seemed a really good time to go. With the holidays, everything slows down so the last few weeks should be a breeze. Just ease on out of there. Yeah, right.
Today my main backup told me she’s had enough shit and has resigned. Her last day is Dec. 13. The other backup and I will have to split her work since there is no way they hire someone to take her place by then. They haven’t even started interviewing for my position! Well, ok, we can deal with it and it won’t be my problem for long.
But then, the other backup told me she is taking vacation from Dec. 23 to Jan. 2. (My last day is Jan. 10.) Now that will leave me responsible for 3 jobs for a week and a half. Yeah, it’s the holidays and there probably won’t be any major issues but I’m assuming I’ll also be training someone for my position, if they ever get around to hiring someone. Damn it, I don’t want to be stressed out right at the end of my career. I should have seen it coming. Toxic workplace has to be true to the end. I can’t wait for Jan. 10 (that’s 38 days but who’s counting - oh, right, that’s me with a countdown sign behind my desk).
They are paying you for one job, presumably. Do that one, go home at 5:00. Let whatever manager approved the alternate backup’s vacation figure out how to get that work done.
What are they going to do, fire you? I’m assuming one month’s salary wouldn’t affect your retirement finances.
Ah, I remember having eyebrows once upon a time…
Took my plump little charmer to the vet to get her butt shaved because she has…issues. (Nowadays, I’ve got my own shaver for that issue to shave off the vet bill issues. Shave off…get it? I crack myself up sometimes.) Anyhoodle, she’s yowling in rage as the vet and the vet tech and myself struggle to contain one cat, when the little demon reached her limit with being handled, and she …she evacuated her anal glands at the vet. Deliberately.
Forget thumbs. If they learn to aim their butts at their owners like this, and really get some distance, the human race is screwed.
On the other hand, if I could just aim her butt at Moscow, my own little weapon of ass destruction could finally give Putin a taste of his own medicine.
Are you sure she’s not part skunk?
Cats have anal glands???
Yes, yes, they do. And if they get impacted, things get nasty.
Yep, as do dogs, skunks, and ferrets.
Christ, I’ll never have cilia again, will I?
Sick today. The especially bad part is basically no audible voice, since I work in a call center.
Why do people insist on sharing TMI?
Yesterday at work a woman decided she couldn’t currently afford to spend money. That happens all the time. Nobody asked her, “why? what’s up?” because honestly, nobody wanted to know.
But she went from, “oh, I cannot currently afford this” straight to, “you see my husband was convicted of molesting our three young (all under 10) children and is in prison. I freaked out over his conviction and didn’t know how I could support myself, so I stole two cars and burgled a neighbors home, and so I just got out of jail for that and I’ll probably never see my kids again”.
Less than two minutes after she left an employee had her newspaper story/booking picture, her Facebook page, and her husband’s courtroom and prison info up on her computer. We didn’t need to know all this crap.
Ginger brandy. Or something spicy with ginger and red pepper. Works every time.
Like…HUH? What now? The kids don’t seem really high on her list of concerns. Two cars and a burglary? Jesus, lady, try a hobby! Or…a different one. Holy shit. Just …holy shit.
I get callers who think I need to hear all about their surgeries/rehabs/jail stays, instead of just “I need a new debit card/why did my card decline/when will my next deposit be/this charge isn’t mine”.
Yeah, I feel bad for my employees “having” to listen to the stuff people wanna share. When people start telling me stuff I stop them and explain that they don’t have to tell me their personal details. They invariably tell me it is ok, to which I then explain that I do not want to hear about it. My employees are too polite (IMHO).
What? You thought [Max Headroom (TV series)](Max Headroom (TV series)) was fiction and not a future documentary?
When my workplace used to handle paternity testing, I would get calls all the time from people ostensibly wanting to schedule a test. About half of them would pour out their life story and then decide not to do the test at all. I didn’t mind those, but your lady takes the cake! Those poor kids.
Also sick - and since I rarely catch colds, I’m feeling extra special whiny.
I was sitting on the toilet, and you know when you drop the kids off at the pool and there’s always this one fat kid who won’t come out of the van because the water’s too cold? Is that too much information for you?
I actually had a coworker once who followed me into the bathroom in order to tell me a long song and dance about why she was having an issue with a program she supposedly was experienced with that someone who actually *was *experienced with using the program wouldn’t have had an issue with, and the song and dance actually had nothing to do with the issue with the program, it was some tale about her life and needing the job and how she couldn’t understand why no one in the office seemed to like her and …
Every time she talked to any of us about anything, there was at least 10 minutes of lead-in that had lots to do with her life and nothing to do with the job. I started applying a technique I called constructive rudeness, which basically consisted of interrupting her, telling her to ask her question without the useless information, giving her the answer, and then turning my back on her.
We were all very happy when her contract ended.