What's the deal with women only gyms?

In My Humble Opinion
141

I would also like to see hard data, but I don’t understand why you find it baseless and/or weird and/or comical. :dubious: :confused:

I think a lot of women (like me) have noticed this:

Walking down the street, alone, in a short dress (in my case), some tights underneath, but noticeable cleavage, I admit I was dressed up. I got catcalls, insistent ones even, but I ignored them and continued my way. This was in the afternoon on a weekend, oh about 4pm. Very busy place.

Walking down the street, in an even shorter dress, no visible tights underneath (I did have short tights on), much more noticeable cleavage. Very busy place, late at night (so drunk people around). Not one peep. I was with two guys, one of them my boyfriend.

Walking down the street, with a dress that was more conservative than the other two, no cleavage. Again, late at night, busy street, drunk people around. Nobody said a thing because, hey guess what, I was with two guys again.

Walking down the street, with no makeup, faded old jeans, baggy shirt, dirty sandals. Busy street, middle of the day, walking alone. I get catcalls, kisses, and car beeps.

Is it that weird to you to realize this? Or that you don’t believe the women? Lucky for me, the guys who were with me when I was NOT getting cat called were conscious enough to know that their presence was the reason nobody said a thing. So this is not a difficult or hard thing to understand.

142

I’m not sure if it’s “already controlled” or “already taken” (and hashing out the difference between the two is probably going to take more hair splitting than a wigmaker) but it’s certainly very common for women to not experience harassment when accompanied by men (more than one religion has made a, well, religion of this, and refuses to let their wimminfolk go out in public without a male relative for this very reason). Many of us go so far as to wear fake wedding bands or lie and say we have a boyfriend or husband to ward off unwanted attention, because we’ve learned it’s the most efficient method.

Conversations go like this:
“Hey, nice tits. Can I get your digits?”
“No, sorry, I’m not interested.”
“Why you gotta be like that? Come on, I’m a nice guy.”
“Oh, I’m sure you are. But my [boyfriend/husband] doesn’t like it when I give nice guys my number.”
“Oh! OH! I’m sorry! I didn’t know you had a man. We cool.”

So, if that’s not a guy showing respect for another man’s claim on me - more respect than he has for my not being interested of my own accord - I’m not sure how else to comprehend it.

But I won’t womansplain it, so you tell me. What *do *guys mean when they do that?

143

“I don’t want to be on the wrong side of a fist… or a gun.”

144

So we’re right, then. Because you (general you, not you you) don’t worry about being on the wrong side of *my *fist, or *my *gun…only a fist or gun attached to a body with testicles.

145

Now doorhinge is actually mansplaining the term “mansplaining.” Gah!

146

Then, while I don’t entirely understand what you are saying here (is it so hard to speak plain? This is real life, not some theoretical discussion) I guess I am a radical feminist.

I don’t hate men, as you say. But I do think that a lot of things are caused by the patriarchy. Is this…shocking? Blaming oppressive laws is well and good, but they are generally passed by men. And having lived in a country where it really wasn’t safe to go out without a man, I certainly do understand that sometimes, public places are owned by men.

There is a reason why women often go crazy at male strip clubs. It’s because we’ve never been free to admire men the way they admire us, because there’s always a hint of fear. Because public places are all too often owned by men.

But, I don’t really know why we have to differentiate between radical and classical feminism. Or why we have to dismiss one and not the other. Or why we literally have to face women and say “Your experiences cannot be real because I have never experienced them nor seen them.”

147

And is it really surprising to learn that cultural attitudes inform laws – as well as being responsible for less obvious sexism? There are TONS of studies on this – implicit bias tests, the resume test, studies demonstrating that seeing positive portrayals of women in a movie positively influences viewers (both men AND women) towards women, as well as negative portrayals negatively influencing attitudes. You can find any of these and more with a little googling, should you wish to educate yourself.

The phrases you (crawlspace) take issue with have been personally experienced by large numbers of women. Saying you need “data” when we’ve been telling you that this is what we have personally experienced is dismissive as well as yet more evidence of the male ownership of our cultural narrative. MY personal experiences are irrelevant, or a lie, or something, because you as a man haven’t experienced or noticed it yourself. Why? Why is your personal experience more valid than mine, Anaamika’s, WhyNot’s, KarlGrenze’s, or any other woman in this thread? Just what do you think sociological data is, if not gathering the personal stories of those who experience this? (And if you wish to deny this too, I can also tell you that I HAVE participated in a formal sociological study, conducted by a PhD candidate, and the entirety of my contribution to his data collection was sitting down with him and telling my story, in my own words, while he put it on audio tape. He asked some clarification questions as I went along, but my responses were entirely free-form, not check boxes.)

WE ARE YOUR DATA. We’ve been giving it to you. It’s neither our fault nor our problem that you can’t / won’t / don’t acknowledge this. But if you want to have a good faith discussion of this, you need to listen when we are telling you the very information that you asked for.

148

I was in the gym the other day and it was pretty busy. I found it to be darn hard to NOT stare at the women simply because in a busy area there simply are few places I can stare at and focus where nobody is present. So how can I say I was looking at a point in the room not at them?

Its hard not to stare at the women on the floor doing stretches with their butts in the air and their knees over their heads.

149

I’ve never been to a gym that didn’t have televisions. Mounted high in the wall, far away from butts and knees.

150

When I go to the gym, I find it easy not to stare at people. Perhaps the fact that you find it hard not to contributes to the demand for women’s only gyms?

151

How do you do it? I end up staring at the floor or ceiling because so often there is just too many people.

152

Are you sure you mean the word “stare”? If you said it’s hard not to glance at anyone, I’d be with you 100%.
Staring on the other hand, makes people uncomfortable, and I’m always appalled at guys just standing there with a completely fixed gaze on some girl.

In the interests of full disclosure though, I admit that I somewhat “enjoy” glancing round at people. Whether it’s seeing just how buff some of the guys are, or the occasional glance at a hot girl, yeah it makes going to the gym slightly less boring. I definitely think I come in way under the amount anyone would find uncomfortable (I’m considering a glance to be about a 1/2 second), but if even this sounds creepy to my fellow dopers, let me know :slight_smile:

153

Yeah, I never “stare” for more than a few seconds. The fit woman stretching out like I said with her butt in the air and legs over her head, yeah, gotta check that out.

I also might look to see how someone is doing a particular exercise.

Also yesterday there was a person in a wheelchair that was getting out and using machines. Yes I stared although I tried not to. It just looked interesting.

154

It’s easy for me - I just take my glasses off when I work out. Anything more than six feet away is a colored blob.

155

Thank you for doing a better job than we could of answering the OP, which is basically “Why are there women-only gyms? What’s the demand?”

156

You wont believe me but when I “stare” at a woman doing what I mentioned I’m doing it actually as a kind of “wow, how do you do that?” stare instead of from a sexual desire. Yes, believe it or not.

People do all kinds of odd stretches.

157

Doesn’t matter. Still answers the OP nicely, as a matter of fact.

Regardless of whether or not your inner monologue (which only you can hear, BTW) is “Damn, I’d tap that,” or “Damn, how does she *do *that?” the fact is, being stared at by men makes many women feel uncomfortable, especially if she can’t tell that he may or may not be thinking creepy/sick thoughts she’d rather not contemplate.

When there are two local gym options, one that involves being stared at by men and one where by definition that won’t happen, well, you can’t be surprised when the “not being stared at by men” option rakes in the dough.

158

I’m not sure you’re being honest with yourself. You said “The fit woman stretching out like I said with her butt in the air and legs over her head, yeah, gotta check that out…” That seems more you’re looking because she’s attractive rather than because of her flexibility. I’m guessing you only stare at the good looking women in these poses even though other women and men are doing similar poses.

Those fit women are likely annoyed by men constantly staring at them because they’re amazed at how they stretch… or order coffee… or sit on the bus… or read a book… etc, etc, etc.

159

…and the fit woman has no idea if you’re staring because you’re looking for pointers on your Downward Dog or if you’re mentally masturbating to dat ass. Since too much of her day is likely spent dealing with the later, that’s likely going to be her interpretation.

160

You do know that every perv ever confronted claims exactly what you’re claiming, right?
To the point of cliche!

Purplehorseshoe nailed it. You ARE the answer to the OP.