What's the funniest way a philosopher has died?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Thales died of dehydration because he became obsessed with a gymnastics contest he was watching. Empedocles threw himself into a volcano to prove that he could become a god. And I remember something about a pre-socratic philosopher who fell into a well, because he was to occupied with watching the stars to concentrate on where he was going.

Then there is my personal favorite: Francis Bacon who got the bright idea to try to stuff a chicken full of snow - after which he died of pneumonia.

Any better?

2

Since there is no possible “correct” answer to this, let’s move it to MPSIMS.

samclem GQ moderator

3

That night at dinner…

‘What? No stuffing? There’s no stuffing!’

‘There’s snow stuffing!’

‘There isn’t! Anyway, there’s no such thing as “snow stuffing”.’

‘There is!’

‘Look. This bird is sitting in a puddle of broth…’

And so on.

4

Who was the one who got a turtle dropped on his head?

5

Descartes’ life shows the value of lying in bed and thinking, and he arguably died from having to get up too early in the morning.

6

Ariston of Chios is said to have died of sunstroke because of his bald head:

7

That was Aeschylus, who was a playwright, not a philosopher.

8

One story has it that Calchas died laughing at another soothsayer’s prophecy in the 12th century B.C. The rival soothsayer had said Calchas would not live to taste the wine made from the grapes he was tending. After the grapes were harvested and pressed, Calchas invited his rival over for a taste. The Soothsayer repeated the prophecy, and Calchas laughed himself into apoplexy, the untasted wine in his hand.

Chrysippus (3rc c. B.C.0 is also said to have died laughing, upon seeing a donkey eat some figs.

A laugh riot, those Greeks.

9

Tycho Brahe (while an astronomer, he lived at a time when philosophy wasn’t really removed from the sciences) died from a burst bladder suffered during a drinking contest.

10

Mention stuffing and philosopher in the same breath and Jeremy Bentham has to come to mind. From the Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy:

11

I had to go look this up. Wikipedia says the story is “dubious,” but I’ll choose to believe it because it’s so awesome. The page also has a link to the Wiki article on fatal hilarity, which is my new favorite phrase.

12

As amusing as those pre-socratic deaths are, you have to remember the stories were being circulated before fact-checking came into vogue.

13

Yeah. Larry’s right. They were probably even more hilarious than that. Luckily nobody went and got all the facts, or we’d probably be suffering from fatal hilarity ourselves.

14

Pyrrho of Elis, the founder of Skepticism, was reportedly killed while fighting Bigfoot.

15

… who went on to kill Zeno of Citium, who didn’t put up any kind of fight at all.

16

And it was turtles all the way down.

17

It’s not a funny way to die, but it’s appropriate.
This is, I swear, the actual opening paragraph of David L. Goodstein’s statistical mechanics/solid-state physics book, States of Matter:

…

18

Cite?

:: d&r ::

19

…and here he is!

http://www.cs.ucl.ac.uk/external/atanu/jb.html

There is some disagreement as to whether his body was preserved or merely his head. I don’t know which is true, but there is someone wearing his hat.

20

Apparently, Abe Lincoln had a run-in with Bigfoot as well.