Unfortunately, I’m not even making it to the date or even the conversation stage. I’m being shot down when I ask to dance with a girl at a bar, or I buy her a drink or whatever. 100% failure rate. The only women I made it to the conversation stage with are the women who pursue me first.
There’s something about my appearance that’s not sparking attraction with many women. Men, on the other hand, I have more luck. That’s the part I’m clueless about. I feel there’s nothing wrong w/ me. I’m normal height, fit, well-endowed, I dress well. I smile. I spend a lot of time and money on my hair. I guess I do have a strike against me, I’m kind of guyish…but some women are into that. I’m not led to believe that I’m being turned down by that many women because that reason.
As for my interests and personality…I think I live a varied life. I’m into outoorsy stuff, travel, dining, gambling. I have some geeky interests such a video games and role-playing (but not LARPing :p). I got a lot of friends and have an active social life. They would describe me as funny and quirky…actually the opposite of my buttoned-down appearance. Honestly, I would rock the tattoo and piercing look, but I’m not a musician or otherwise strongly artistic, I don’t want to be a poser.
My point is that I’m very frustrated that despite the time and money I put into my appearance, I put MORE effort into appearing non-threatning - hence the button down look. I’m getting nothing in return. I always hear women, regardless of orientation, complain about how frumpy some people look. But at the end of the day I don’t think it matters to them.