Ok a friend started me off on this rant along with some other threads I’ve seen on this board.
Heres the deal my friend keeps whining to me how he can’t get any women he keeps telling me abouyt how they’re not intrested in the “nice ones” .
The problems is? He’s 5’9" 250 lbs and he keeps oing for these chicks that look like they just walked off the cover of Playboy magazine!
Ok, heres a clue people, if your over weight or a skinny freckly faced nerdy looking person; don’t go for the super model types becuase you will not get them! Not unless you happen to be Bill Gates. Go for someone whos got the same amount of “pretty”(for lack of a better word) you do. And then only then will you do fine.
I’m as ugly a mug as you’re likely to see, but I managed to date some damned nice looking women in my bold younger days. Granted, I also got shot down a huge percentage of the time.
I see nothing wrong with unreasonably high expectations, so long as you blame no one but yourself when and if you go down in flames.
Have you ever noticed how a person can become beautiful if they’re wonderful on the inside? It may be a bit of a cliche but it’'s true.
Your friend may be fat and freckled, but he may have a bit of Brad Pitt inside. Good on 'em for trying I say. If those girls were too concerned about his physical apperance to even make an attempt to get to know him, they’re the ones who have a problem.
Women of substance are more interested in integrity, sensitivity, wit and confidence. Of course, if you are not a man of substance yourself, you may be interested only in the pretty girls.
That sounds snottier than I mean for it to.
I also have a friend who is not particularly physically attractive. In fact, he is obese and homely. He is also interested in girls that are “out of reach” for him for one reason or another. I suspect that it is “safer” for him that way psychologically. Just an opinion.
You speak in only half truths Weirddave Yes you get girls based on the way you present yourself true, but thats only part of the equation another part is how you look. By that I mean a Carmen Electra type isn’t gonna be going out with some fat ass.
and btw yes I know their are exceptions to every rule.
As far as me not getting many girls part, your wrong on that too but I will not argue that with you becuase its imposible to prove on this board.
I couldn’t agree more. But the "Hot Chicktm " in general isn’t going to hang around long enough to find that out.
Also in the terms of my OP I think its my friend himself that needs to get off that whole looks thing and go for the more average looking ones.
There’s a certain amount of truth (in a warped way) to what the OP says.
Some guys complain about how there are no girls out there, but what they sometimes really mean is “There are no supermodel girls out there who will worship me unconditionally.” They want something that doesn’t exist and they don’t look past superficial details. Therefore, they overlook some perfectly nice-looking girls (not supermodels, but nice girls) because of their unattainable ideal.
They consider themselves (in essence) “too good” for “ordinary” girls (which comprise of the vast majority of womenkind). No wonder they strike out with so many women.
I think what she was saying is that lusting after unobtainable women makes it unlikely that they’ll get involved in relationships, so there’s no risk in getting hurt.
I’ve dated many guys who weren’t “in my league,” and none of them were rich. I don’t care too much about looks (obviously), but to tell you the truth, I want to avoid it in the future. I got tired of seeing people trying to hide their “that’s your boyfriend?” reactions. Even worse was the guys themselves feeling like they were lucky to have “scored” a woman who looked like me. It sets up an unhealthy dynamic in the relationship. If you hear it enough you start to think “gee, maybe I am too good for him.” Also annoying was being a trophy girlfriend that they wanted to show off to their friends. It’s a compliment, but it makes me wonder if they even like me.
I saw a science program dealing with attractiveness a long time ago, probably Horizon on BBC2. During the program they took wedding photos of 10 couples and cut them in half.
They showed the pictures of the men to a sample group of either men or women (don’t remember whcich but it would be intersting either way) and the women’s photos to a group of the opposite sex to the first.
These groups each ranked their photos in order of perceived attractiveness. Across the board, the couples matched rankwise: the woman voted most attractive was married the man voted most attractive and so on down the list. Bear in mind tha they couldn’t have been matching the pictures up any other way, because each group only saw one half of the photos.
Well, I’m 5’10"-ish (on a charitable day with lifts and a strong wind) and 160 on a “fat” day … I’m pretty much described as “skinny unless he takes his shirt off”, which I’m not especially wont to do in public.
And I’m engaged to someone who could model if she wanted to. Seriously.
Hey, Lane Bryant models are just as hot to me as those other people are to … other people:)
Anyway. Go for the human consenting adults to whom you’re attracted, and you’ll eventually find someone who isn’t horrified at the prospect of farting in your presence (which, as we all know, is the true measure of how much she trusts you) and who won’t run away if you fart in bed with her.
She might tell you to stop eating beans, though … and if your choice is the girl or the beans, go with the one what gets you laid:D
