Mrs. **Spiff **, looking over my shoulder, tells me to respond with this:
“Giving birth to an 8 lb. baby.”
Last time I had that style of STD test done it was not a metal swab just a largish Q-tip. It is deffinatly up there as the most painful genital experiance for me. The doctors instructions where please don’t hit me when I do this.
- When I was at a pediatrician appointment around the age of 11 or 12, doc was doing his usual systems check and determined that my foreskin had basically reattached itself to the ridge created during the circumcision. He told mom that it wasn’t that uncommon, and just needed to be pulled back again. So he did, right there. I’m just laying there on the table and he starts pulling the skin away from the head, nothing to numb the area, just sheer brute force. Holy shit. That fuckin hurt. I had to use ointment on the thing for about a week afterward, and all day in school all I wanted to do was put my hands down my pants and hold the little* guy.
- Got the head stuck in the zipper once. Didn’t have the neighbors or EMT’s looking in the window, but I ended up laying on the bathroom floor in agonizing pain.
*Hey, I was only 11!
Being neglected.
All I remember is that I was a kid and it had something to do with being airborne on my bike.
What the hell did they use on you, the same gadget they use to look in people’s stomachs?
I had a cystoscopy done in the Navy and the actual insertion of the instrument (a chrome rod at least 1/4" in diameter :eek: ) was not half as bad as the fact that they decided to invite several female corpsmen in to observe the procedure. It was very surprising to watch how deep the thing goes.
Peeing was great after that – as soon as I got back home I went to take a leak and it was like a fire hose: fully empty in two seconds.
All I know is that peeing afterward felt like they say gonorrhea feels. BURRRRRRNNNN!!!
I misread this as the most painful thing I’ve done to my genitals. The most painful thing anybody or anything has done to my genitals or thereabouts was a “straddle injury to the perineum” suffered during a martial arts tournament. In layman’s terms, a man-mountain kicked the bejeezus out of me under my cup right in the taint. Big, big, ugly, ugly bruise.
I had a anti fungus for athletes foot . My crotch was a bit red. I deemed the anti athletes foot spray would cure the redness. 5 Minutes of excruciating pain followed. It made getting skin in zipper a comparative pleasure.
Worst …A huge guy at work was moving a very big bronze bearing at work. He was putting it on a metal table. It weighed 65 lbs. He dropped it on the edge of the table right on his penis. I will always remember that scream. Someone had to pick it off him without causing more damage.
I used to be a skater (actually, I’m still a skater but I just don’t go as fast or as high as I used to…on the plus side, though, I get as many runs as I want in the pool at the local park 'cuz everyone is too stunned at the sight of a 35 year old skater to take their turn).
I’m sure you have all seen video of a guy sliding down a handrail. I’m sure you have all also seen a video of the same guy bailing and coming down hard on the boys.
Yep, that happened to me…once. Like Mr Bus Guy, I just rolled over, puked, and wanted to die.
Tell her she’s lucky. I’ve done that, and it was nowhere near as bad as the biopsy of my cervix (stirrups, specula, and then a really long nail-clipper like thingy with which they snipped off chunks of my cervix for testing with no anaesthetic) or the cyrofreezy thing they did another day, which involved more stirrups and specula, then liquid nitrogen being brushed onto my cervix. GAH! Not just pain pain pain, but freezing freezing freezing from your very insidest core. Not to mention that over the next two weeks the whole surface of my cervix died, smelled, and sloughed off in chunks like a really bad period mixed with roadkill.
Uh…should I have spoiler TMIed that?
Tough, I read about your foreskins and urethras.
It was the stick… then I got kidney stones.
I have a canned post ready for any thread where Gold Bond medicated powder is mentioned:
Well, this didn’t happen to me, as will soon be come apparent, but…
Back in the day, in Manitoba in the dead of winter it gets really friggin’ cold.
One day it was about -45C, probably -50C with the wind chill. One of my uncle’s friends (who was about 11 or 12) was walking over to the house and forgot to do up his zipper. He may have just had a wee so his underwear might have been a bit damp. The zipper froze open. It was a 45 minute walk.
He got frostbite on his willy. I don’t know if you’ve ever had frost bite, but it hurts like a mother fucker, and that’s on ears and noses and hands. My grandmother had to warm his willy up with her hands and put it in a pan of luke warm water to warm it up.
So not only did he get frost bite on his cock, his friend’s MOM had to help him out. I’m sure he died about 1,000 little boy deaths that day.
I’m not sure I remember , but I assure you , it was an accident.
When I was about nine or ten, I must have sat in a patch of poison ivy one summer while wearing shorts. I got poison ivy ALL over my legs and on my labia. AAAH!
Ok, you…umm you know what, “win” the thread just doesn’t seem appropriate here…
Good lord! The reattaching foreskin, the cervical biopsy - why the hell don’t they use some sort of local anaesthetic?!
I had an agonizing breast biopsy (two actually, on the same day). No local, because “it could ruin the sample.”
So, I had a hard lump in each breast (as it turns out, not cancer, everything fine). Did I mention the lumps were very hard?
You know when you were a kid, and you wanted to get a pellet of ice into the end of your straw to shoot at your brother, so you pounded the straw into the icey slush at the bottom of your cup? They used the same method, except for straw, read “needle” and for “icey slush” read “my boobs,” which were already rather sore from enduring 4 vigourous-to-the-point-of-pain manual exams and an ultrasound.
Insert needle (me thinking, ok, I can handle this). POUND POUND POUND = Exteme burning agonizing HOLY SHIT screaming pain. repeat 3 times per breast. It was supposed to be 4, but the technician went and got the Attending because my pain was somewhat “anomalous.” The Attending checked the sample herself, told me I could go home, and gave me ice packs for my boobs.
I’ve had anesthetic wear out in the middle of a root canal and this was much, much worse.
Giving birth to a 12 lb. baby, PLUS the stitches that followed.