I’m mostly referring to the examinations, but feel free to throw in other things (like waxing or Nair).
I don’t think there’s the male equivalent of a Pap Smear, but my guy friends swear up and down that there’s plenty of things worse than “turn your head and cough”. Having been through a Pap Smear myself (and icked enough by them to be tempted to disavow them forever), I’m hard pressed to believe it, but maybe the Teeming Millions can set me straight.
So, share your horror stories! You don’t have to use euphemisms, but you definitely get bonus creativity points for clever ones.
I second the vasectomy. I had mine done last year under a local anesthetic. Although I thought I was numb, the electrical devise used to cauterize blood vessels and what not hit a nerve…down there…yep. I’m talking broken bone pain[sup]10[/sup]. I’m squirming thinking about it now, as are you, I’m sure.
My mother had an endometrial biopsy done, they didn’t check her records properly, so they thought she’d had 4 kids naturally (nope, all c-sections) and didn’t use any anaesthesia when they dilated her cervix.
She passed out from the pain.
This is a woman who has root canals without lidocaine, because she doesn’t like having a numb mouth afterwards.
Yeah, I had an endometrial biopsy done for infertilty. Hint, when someone wants to insert something into your uterus, the correct answer is “where’s the Vicodin?”
Not to laugh at your suffering, but damn that’s funny. Somewhere around here there’s a thread where a Doper describes in graphic detail his vasectomy gone wrong. Really, though, I’d imagine that female circumcision is probably the most painful “procedure” one could have inflicted upon their genitalia.
I went to a urologist as part of the steps to find out why I was having so many UTI/kidney infections. The first one I went to, wasn’t entirely competent. Apparently his staff was well aware of this too. I sat there, whimpering/retching on the table and nearly passing out as he put the instrument in to look at my bladder walls. He used some kind of pain killing gel right before he went in to look. (The same kind the dentist uses before numbing the area with a shot) The nurse actually sat there holding my hand, with a pitying expression on her face! The second urologist I went to said I shouldn’t have felt any pain at all, and proved this. I did indeed, feel no pain. The second guy used the gel too, but he waited a while before going in to look. This made all the difference. Childbirth was no picnic either.
There are these <ahem> tools that one inserts into … places … Some people use them for sex play…<boggle>
NOT WORK SAFE - unless your job is very strange
Shudder That’s the procedure that was done on me, except instead of a catheter, it was a tool for looking at my bladder walls. It HURT a lot. I’m female, so at least I didn’t have the longer length of urethra. It honestly felt like razor blades scraping down the entire way, in and out. I can’t imagine wanting ot have that procedure done without enough local anesthetic applied to numb you!Shudder :eek:
Having a pelvic done when you have an (unbeknownst to you at the time) ectopic pregnancy is agonizing. At least it was for me. I thought I was having a miscarriage and went to the ER. The doc was not very gentle, and my cervix was already so tender that even coughing was painful. Let’s just say that I never
cried (OK, I did beg for an epidural that first time, but I never cried!) during hard labor in subsequent years, but that exam left me in tears.
I’m a guy and I had a test for gonorrhea. (negative - by the way).
Anyway, the nurse held a probe (something about as wide as a Q-Tip™) and she inserted it about a half inch into a very tender spot!!! Luckily, she was quick about the whole thing and this probably took less than a second. Still it was a somewhat painful and also very weird feeling. Had she pushed that in deeper or left it in longer than a second, I would have given her the secret formula to Coca-Cola !!!
