What's the Next Shiny Thing To Come From Washington?

So there’s this bloodbath over in some foreign land that we’re a part of. And it’s apparently not going as well as we would have liked. Seems some of our guys and employees are bahaving like typical humans when unsupervised and the locals can’t seem to grow enough flowers to spare any for our feet.

So to get our minds off that unpleasantness, Our Guvernment finally looks toward domestic affairs and tosses out a shiny nugget vaguely calling for immigration reform. We all flock to the nugget and soon lose interest because we need to be told who our next American Idol will be.

And when that fails to keep us entertained we start wondering where all the children have gone and they toss another shiny out to us called Gay Marriage Ban–which hasn’t got a prayer of passing because it’s so divisive and ridiculous, but it’s inflammable so we’ll take our eye’s off the red sands again…

Well, election year is fast approaching so they’re gonna need some really good shiny stuff to keep us distracted. What’s it gonna be?

My money is on the Villainous Canadians and their extortionately cheap lumber destroying valuable ecosystems and undermining the American Lumberjack’s way of life. The Maple Leaf State has repeatedly ignored our right to tarriff the daylights out of their lumber…and they bitch about us not letting them catch our fish, or about us catching too many of “their” fish. And they sell cheap drugs to US Citizens. Plus…they’re French Sympathizers, and everybody knows that France bends over for THE TERRORISTS! And lookit all the TERRORISTS trying to sneak accross our northern border! CANADA IS A SAFEHAVEN FOR THE TERRORISTS!!!
: is draged off by the meninwhite foaming at the mouth :

Moved from IMHO to the Pit.

We already did that one in 2002. It can’t be up on the wheel again already, can it?

Aw jeez, Frankie…I was kind of hoping for lighthearted, jocular, fanciful suggestions…not fire. :confused:

Well, in real life you’re going to get fire – in the form of an anti-flag-burning amendment to the Constitution. It seems like all these godless heathens are poised with flags ready to burn, and all that will stop them is a re-write of the Constitution.

Heh. Good luck.

What, you think that The Pink Menace isn’t good enough for another round? Sure, we slapped the faggots down small-scale with those state amendments…but the libruls kept us from showing those fags who the real Americans are.

After that, maybe we can stick them in the same concentration camps…er…Tent Prisons in the Middle of the Desert as that genius randyjet puts it.


The flag-burning amendment is going to keep coming back as long as the RNC thinks it will work, just like the gay-bashing amendment. But there are heartening signs that the base they think they’re playing to knows it’s all condescension and they aren’t buying it anymore.

But take heart - a party that has to massage its base in an election year is in deep trouble.

But Fraaaaaaank! You can’t put an Inigo Montoya thread in The Pit! That’s like taking a Hyundai to Moab for offroad fun! My pitiful drivel can’t stand the rigors of this forum! It’ll die prematurely here! But…you’d like that wouldn’t you. Because you’re one of THEM! You want us all to stay distracted by the shinies, don’t you! Because you’re a TERRORIST!


Wait a minute- it all makes sense!

Think about it… rising oil prices, the missing WMD, the way the Iraqi insurgency is lasting and killing American troops, Middle East instability, the hurricanes and our inability to come up with alternative fuels, the WB/UPN merger… what else could it be except the gays?

Gays need oil. They slather it all over each other, driving up prices for the gay-oil cartel (HOMOPEC). The Iraqi insurgency? If you’re watching the news, you must’ve noticed that they’re suspiciously well-dressed, if you know what I mean. And all that ‘praying?’ Probably singing show tunes in Arabic. It’s a scientific fact that gays deflect wind, so their homes are almost hurricane-proof while other peoples’ get destroyed. The gays don’t care about America’s fuel problems since they run the oil cartels and have the money to crush the poor farmers who grow corn-based alternative fuels. The UPN thing speaks for itself. America can’t afford to ignore this problem any longer. The gays will destroy us if we let them, and stopping them from marrying is our only choice in self-defense.

Diet soda, all over the monitor. Thanks! :wink:

In the Pit, MOAB is taken to Hyundai.

My guess is abortion is going to come up real soon now.

On one of the Sunday talk shows (maybe even on Fox), a commentator pointed out that the Republicans are getting desparate on this. They only have about 10 years or so left to milk this issue before the demaographics turn the tide. We may not have a majority in favor of gay marriage by then, but we will have a majority that just doesn’t care one way or the other. If the Dems beat Arnold in CA this fall, it’s pretty much a slam dunk that we’ll be the first state to legalize SSM thru legislative action. I’m not sure a pro-SSM initiative would pass in an election, but I don’t think the voters would view and anti-SSM ballot initiatve the way Prop 22 was viewed back in 2000 (or whenever it was voted on).

I doubt we’ll see SSM legalized in all 50 states in our lifetimes, but I expect to see more states legalizing it in the very near future-- and hopefully thru the legislature.

The flag buring amendment is so silly I can’t even comprehend how it would be enforced. Can a person burn a picture that has a flag in it? If that amendment passes, I suspect we’ll start to see people burning copies of the constitution instead. And that will be a sad, sad day.

The *failure * of legislative attempts to de-legalize it in MA surely counts. But not as much as being on the side of simple human decency, and legalization in CA may influence other states more than it has in MA.

I certainly agree that public opinion is reversing quickly on the issue, as more people think about it.

Doesn’t matter, since there are far fewer actual supporters of it than apparent ones in the Senate anyway. It isn’t the amendment itself or the end of this plague of flag-burnings we’ve been subjected to that its supporters want, but merely the motivation of a faction of voters. If the thing ever passed, they’d be short one bloody shirt to wave.

How about a constitutional amendment to protect Christmas?

That’s the spirit!

Remember folks, take note of the Karl Rove acid test: No matter how ludicrous the initial proposal, it’s counter stance must be abominable. i.e.:

  • What? You mean you don’t want any more Christmas?
  • What? You think setting puppies on fire and then chasing them into Wal*Mart is a good thing?

Is the de-legaliztion procedure finished in MA, or is it pretty much expected to fail? I haven’t kept up.

That, and the fact that it just isn’t as much of an issue with most younger people.

I’m not sure what you mean. I haven’t followed the flag burning amendment news, but does it not have enough supporters in the Senate? I could see it going either way, but I honestly don’t know.

Congress can declare war, so it should be able to undeclare war, too! :slight_smile:

Are they ugly, Communist puppies? Because I could get behind that one.