I quit smoking two years ago.
After years of trying and failing, the crucial mental/emotional switch finally flipped and I was able to stop and stay off them. There were a few “damn, I’d kill for a cig” moments but nothing too bad, and really none for the last year.
This time I actually did it.
Another cigarette quitter here. The little bundle of joy (and spit-up and poop) that I’m bouncing in her bouncer as I type this really helped my motivation.
I have several “aha” moments, but the one that comes to mind first was my learning gratitude.
I used to be a bitchy, negative, pain in the ass. Then I picked up the book Simple Abundance and only read a few pages. I started to learn how to stop and remember all the things I have to be grateful for. That simple task literally changed my life.
I am much more positive about all aspects of my life today which began with such a subtle change in thinking.
It’s early days yet, but I am quite pleased to have quit drinking. Again.
This time it has a better chance of sticking.
It kind of amazes me how good I was at convincing myself to do something stupid and counter-productive/counter-intuitive. Partly it’s the power of advertising. Partly it’s the way people start (convinced it won’t become a problem - it’s what everyone does). Partly location (Britain - A nation of Binge drinkers)
I have wanted to be a non-drinker for years. I just didn’t know it until recently.
When I was a teenager I was a morose and negative person. Sometime around my late teens and early- to mid-twenties I decided I didn’t like living that way and resolved to change it.
I started emulating happy people, and forcing myself to think of positive things to say about any given situation instead of negative ones.
That was a long time ago, so I can’t remember specifics, but a few years ago, in my late thirties, I met a guy who laughed at everything, including jokes at his expense. I resolved to emulate him, too. I still don’t laugh as easily as he does, but I laugh pretty easily nowadays.
Changes I’ve made in the last year?
Stopped drinking Coke or any carbonated, sugar laden soda.
Made sun tea with a light shake of splenda in its place.
Still drink ~2 liters a day but here’s to healthier bones and teeth! and fewer empty calories.
I don’t mind telling people how obtuse they are when they start talking racial or homophobic shit. Granted, I still pick and chose my battles but at least I don’t ALWAYS just sit and bite my tongue.
I’m dating some one seriously right now but I’ve recently, (like two years ago)stopped doing the whole “one night stand” thing. I don’t have any problems with the ONS morally but too many times have I hurt women because they wanted something more. In the past I’ve always thought to myself “Tough shit, I told you from the start I don’t want anything serious.”
Even though I am honest from the start and they do tell me “it’s all good” I can still tell they’re probably going to get hurt as I’ve become pretty keen on spotting out needy women.
Besides, that shit was cute when I was 20something but now I’m pushing 40 and I tend to think the ONS has gone from “cute” to “pathetic”. In other words, I felt like I needed to grow up.
I stopped biting my nails. Sounds trivial, but…
My Mom said I started chewing when I first started school. (And, NO Mom, it had nothing to do with the fact you sent me off to my first day of Kindergarten in red shoes) and I will be 55 in 2 weeks.
I started it again a week or so ago but i has been a particularly stress-filled holiday season here. I can stop anytime. Really.
Well, let’s take some clues from these good folks;
[QUOTE=Gala Matrix Fire]
When I was a teenager I was a morose and negative person. Sometime around my late teens and early- to mid-twenties I decided I didn’t like living that way and resolved to change it.
I started emulating happy people, and forcing myself to think of positive things to say about any given situation instead of negative ones.
[/QUOTE]
That’s something I noted in myself. Always thinking and expressing negative ideas, negative thoughts, speaking in a sarcastic way. I didn’t want to be like that anymore.
[QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus]
I reeked of desperation for people to like me and make me feel good about myself.
<snip>
if you don’t like yourself it’s extremely hard for other people to. I now feel like I’m actually in control of my life and things are much more stable (although I can still have a pretty bitchy tongue ).
[/QUOTE]
Same thing. Desperate to have people like me when I didn’t like myself. To have “normal” relationships, but in doing so, accepting a great deal of bullshit and bad behavior from the people I accepted as my friends. Because hell, who’d put up with me? I got the people I deserved in my life.
(((Really funny that as I get to this part, the hold music song I’m listening to is “I want to be loved by you”)))
A lot of it is recognizing the areas you don’t like, what you’re doing wrong, and trying to make a change. Unfortunately, I chose to do it all on my own and made a huge number of mistakes along the way. In hindsight, I’d definitely recommend therapy, with the caveat of my usual advice in regards to Professionals;
Professionals work for you.
If they don’t work for you, find another.
Could probably say a lot more, but it’s taken me an hour to get this out in between doing my job.
I’ll also add a very hard learned lesson about self-change;
If you try to tear yourself apart of remove the parts you don’t like;
The only thing you will accomplish is to tear yourself apart.
And it can take YEARS to put yourself back together again.
“How you ever gonna know, if you never dare to try…”
Garth Brooks
I’ve never had any fun at parties unless I was the center of attention. Being aware of this never made me any better of a wallflower. I always tried for the funniest stories, the cleverest quips, etc. I tried not to be a dick about it, or do the one-upsmanship thing. Still, I was usually pretty funny, and very clever. <shrug> I was good at it.
Earlier this year, my wife brow-beat me into auditioning at a theater. Not a community theater, but a real run-for-weeks theater. Damned if I didn’t make the audition. As soon as that show closed, I was anxious to do it again. So far, I’ve been in three productions, and looking forward to more next year.
Thanks, wife. My life has changed, and I’ve never been happier!
Another who lost weight. 50+ pounds and coming up on 8 years maintaining.
Stopped smoking, as of midnight on the night of May 26, 1992, after having smoked for 17-1/2 years. My first attempt and it stuck. But then, I was ready to quit. Had been reading about “pack years,” which is based on smoking a pack a day for a year. For instance, smoking two packs a day for a year is equal to two pack years. It seems the really irreversible damage occurs after 20 pack years. I used to be quite a mlitant smoker, lighting up immediately when people started bugging me to quit, so they’d shut up. Decided I was getting really close to 20 pack years, and cigarettes were getting expensive, so I did the nicotine gum and set that midnight as a deadline. Smoked my head off between 11:30pm and midnight, making myself sick and thus possibly helping.
Being open on message boards. This was the first board I’d become a member of and made more than 10 posts. It’s opened me up to the internet really. Not sure why I was so uncomfortable with message boards or open, online communication, but it isn’t as bad as I thought. I’ve been learning a lot as well since being here. Definitely making small improvements in my vocabulary. (I have a vast understanding of words’ definitions, but not so much the ability of using them during conversations)
Full disclosure: Thinking back, it was 16-1/2 years.
When I first became a Christian I also had an anti-gay attitude. As I matured and examined my faith I slowly came to believe that hating anyone is unchristian. Today I wouldn’t call myself a gay advocate but I try to treat gays and lesbians no different from any one else (and have on occasion attended gay-friendly churches.)
Another ex-smoker here. My motivation was watching both my mother and MIL die from the affects of smoking and deciding that was not the way I want to go. Something more recent was deciding to end my marriage after 18 years. The year since we separated has been great, I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I am waiting for her to return the signed divorce papers so I can file them with the court. Now if I could do something about losing some weight like others…
Used to be a smoking dope fiend.
I no longer smoke or take drugs. Recovery rocks!
Former smoker, quit in January 2001 using Zyban to kill a 30+ yr habit. I figured if I was lucky enough to not have any health issues due to smoking at that time, that I’d best quit while I was still ahead.
Mine’s not as awesome as everyone else’s but I’m proud of it…
I never was really bad with money but after I bought my house I became super-good with money. I lived (live) like a miser and denied myself a lot of things. I only bought what I needed, not what I wanted. I also managed to never depend on my folks for money even though they sometimes begged me to let them pay for stuff. I set a lot of goals, worked extra hard, and slowly chipped away at them over the past 3 years.
The plan was to be debt free (other than mortgage) by the time I was 30, but the goal will be realized 4 months early - two weeks from now! And, I’ll keep to my same habits going and start with the next step, savings.
And no, the house is not in shambles or falling down around me. I’ve managed to keep it up quite nicely, and have lots of plans for the future.
So, becoming extremely financially aware was my greatest change, and I love it!