What's the one change in your lifestyle you're most proud of?

In My Humble Opinion
41

I made two major, important changes. First, I stopped working in jobs that were crushing my spirit and breaking my brain. I had dropped out of college, which vastly limited my career options, so I spent nearly a decade doing clerical temping, working my way up to administrative assistant roles, often for upper level executives at some of the larger companies/organizations in the city. But I hated it. It wasn’t challenging in any good way, it wasn’t creative, I wasn’t doing anything but enabling people who were often demonstrably not any smarter than I was to make more than ten times the salary, and never seemed to be doing anything that really served the public good.

So I quit. I stopped calling my agency for assignments and now, seven years later, or so, I’ve kludged together enough income to manage by doing a number of things, all on a freelance basis, including writing. I’m angling to go back to college now, but for myself, not in pursuit of a particular career path. I’ll never be rich or famous (unless my writing hits a note somewhere) but that’s fine by me.

My other major change was that I stopped trying to lose weight. Having been on diets since I was eight years old gave me a completely screwed up relationship with food, a destroyed metabolism, made me fatter and gave me a tendency toward secret quarterly binges. I’ve stopped hating myself for being fat, therefore unhealthy and embraced the principles of health at every size and intutive eating and I’ve made friends with my fat, flawed but powerful, beautiful body. The healing, while ongoing, has already been immense.

42

Going vegan is the lifestyle change I’m most proud of. This summer will be five years. :slight_smile:

I went vegetarian after reading Fast Food Nation and vegan a year (or 2? fuzzy memory) after that. It was certainly challenging at first (what are all of these ingredients?!) but now it’s easy as pie.

I’ve met some awesome activists, been delighted and suprised by the passion I feel for many causes, and feel healthy and happy. I love the contentment of living a lifestyle that fits my morals, it feels right. Like it clicks in all the right ways.

43

I really feel the need for a deep bow of respect and awe to everyone else in this thread for their stories about how they’ve changed their lives and are better off and feel better about themselves now.

Because it just affirms what I had pretty much said in my post; If you don’t like who you are, if you don’t like your life - take that step and make the change. Oh sure, there will be pain, there may be sorrow, there may even be blood. But in the end, you will be who you need to be and it will all be worth it.

In the end, which is the Greater Hell? That you took a chance, paid a price and were better off for it? Or that you never tried and died a long slow death, living a life you didn’t like, because you were afraid of the cost of changing it?

Whether it’s as “simple” (haha) as quitting smoking, or as major as a wholesale life transformation, there is going to be discomfort along the way. Habits to change that you didn’t even realize, friends to lose that you maybe didn’t want to lose.

I Ching Hexagram 47: Oppression (Exhaustion), changing to Hexagram 6: Conflict

Six at the top means;

He is oppressed by clinging vines.
He moves uncertainly and says. “Movement brings remorse.”
If one feels remorse over this and makes a start,
Good fortune comes.

Meaning pretty much what I said above. We are in an oppresive, exhausting situation. We want to move, but when we try, we immediately feel the negative consequences: People who deny us or don’t want us to change, nicotine withdrawal, negative thoughts, etc. And so we are conflicted. But if we realize this, and make that move anyway, good fortune comes of it.

44

Like ZipperJJ, I’ve gotten on top of my finances. I don’t make a lot of money–my kids qualify for free lunches, at least (although I make them everyday anyway)–but in the past two years I’ve paid off all the remaining debt after my bankruptcy (surprising how much was left), paid off all the new crap that had accumulated, got my credit rating back up, and managed to buy a house of my own.
Every now and then I realize I have money in the bank and have a moment of panic because I’m SURE I missed something–what haven’t I paid??? But then I look at my now-organized records and realize that not only am I current on everything, I’m a little ahead and have some money in savings.
Sweeeeet.

45

Getting sober wasn’t just the one change I’m most proud of, it also set in motion other changes that I needed but never would have imagined I could accomplish.

I was a practicing alcoholic for over 10 years. By the end, my life had become about 2 things: getting drunk, and then recovering from the hangover enough so that I could go out and buy more booze. I’d become isolated from my family and had driven away most of my friends. I was angry, self-pitying, and to be honest, I no longer cared if I lived or died.

I quit a little over 3 years ago. It was fucking HARD, and it wasn’t just the not-drinking that was hard. Once I tried to lead a “normal” life, I started realizing that I was emotionally stunted at about 20. Everyone had grown up around me, and I’d been in this cocoon of booze and denial where I’d never had to actually mature. I’d never accepted any responsibility. I certainly wasn’t equipped to handle any emotional conflicts sober.

That’s when I started therapy. Besides being an alcoholic, I was just plain screwed-up and needed to face my problems. I’d definitely thought that needed therapy was something to be ashamed of, and that made it difficult at the beginning. I decided, though, that if I was going to do it I was going to REALLY make the effort - I had to learn to be completely honest with another human being and not rationalize all my bullshit behavior. That alone was worth the price of admission, but I’d say that the improvements in my relationships over the past couple of years are astounding.

I got up the courage to go back to school after I’d been sober awhile. It’s a huge struggle for me, because I just want to be DONE so I can get on with things. But learning to work for things and not just give up is one of the biggest challenges I need to deal with.

Having gotten to the point where I was sober and making progress emotionally, I decided it was time to deal with my physical health. I was SERIOUSLY overweight, and somehow losing weight seemed like it would be even harder than getting sober. I knew that I needed to eat better and I knew I’d have to exercise, but I also knew that I couldn’t pull off an overnight complete lifestyle change. So I got a bike and started using it for transportation. Eventually I started feeling a little better, and got used to exercising most days, so I started making small dietary changes. I didn’t attempt to eat perfectly, just better than I had been. I lost weight slowly - so slowly that no one even noticed for the first 30 pounds or so.

Anyway, fast forward a year and a half, and I’ve lost 70 lbs. My weight is in the “healthy” range and I’m wearing the same size clothes I wore in high school. I’m not super-disciplined or anything - I just try to exercise more than I used to and eat well more often than not.

Had I not quit drinking, I’d never have gotten it together to address any of my other problems. I’d given up on EVERYTHING, and I thought attempts to make things better were futile. It’s funny, because I sure don’t think my life right now is perfect, but it’s just better enough that I recognize the value in trying. I’m still working on becoming an adult, but I think I can get there. I spent more than ten years creating the mess that my life had become, and it might well take me ten to clean up said mess. But I’ve done fairly well for 3 years of sobriety.

46

Valerieblaise I enjoy reading about people’s success at quitting drinking.

Do you consider quitting as the most significant change? I would. You are in a better coping position to deal with all the other changes. It has the added bonus for losing weight of the fact you’ve cut out one source of calorie intake. I’ve quit and I have not yet made a serious attempt to lose weight, but I find I am losing it gradually. I no longer crave junk food. I no longer crave as much food as before. (For me, food was a way of ‘recovering’ from binging the night before)

47

I consider quitting as the scariest change, and the most necessary. Alcohol consumed me as much as I consumed it.

I’d say that the first 10 pounds or so I lost were due to nothing more than taking in fewer calories - from the hooch and from the shitty food I’d eat to recover. Eventually I had to actively make a little more effort to lose the rest of the weight, but part of that is recognizing that food is fuel for your body and not something to counteract a bad hangover. Nor is it comfort when you have to face life without liquor.

That said, in the early stages of sobriety, just worry about the sobriety. It affects your life in ways you wouldn’t have imagined, and alcoholism is a like an abusive ex that keeps trying to get you back, trying to make you believe that things will be different this time. As humans, sometimes change is so frightening that we want to go back to the devil we know.

I really don’t think it’s a good idea to take on significant weight loss if you’ve JUST quit drinking. The emotional/mental health stuff is what’s really needing to be addressed - I’ve benefitted from therapy, and while I’m not a hardcore AA person, I do find AA to be a valuable resource. I didn’t start going until I’d been sober for a year because I was STILL resisting the idea that I was an alcoholic (that was too common for a complicated yet unique snowflake like myself), but once I actually went it was the final step I needed to acknowledge that I couldn’t just take a break from alcohol, I had given it up and it had to be for good.

You’ve already taken a big step towards becoming the person you want to be. You won’t become that person in days or weeks or even months. So stick with this first step and know that you’ll be able to face the physical stuff when the time is right.

It feels great to have lost weight. But if I still as fucked up as I was when I was drinking - or even the first year or so that I was sober - it would be somewhat useless. I’d have looked better on the outside but still been a giant chaotic mess inside. Instead, now I look good on the outside and am only a small chaotic mess on the inside.

48

As an Atheist I wanted to avoid AA (I’ve been told it requires you to accept that a higher Power is in control of your recovery, and that you wil have the problem for ever - Both untrue)

I genuinelly believe that “have to face life without liquor” is a silly thing to think (no offence) because life without liquor is something to feel over the moon about. I am GLAD that I may never [have to] drink alcohol ever again. I may have finally become what I have for years wished I was - a non-drinker. Like I (and everyone else) was before I started drinking. We could cope with life before we ever drank, so there’s no reason to think we can’t cope with life if we become, once more, a non-drinker.

I implore anyone to think that you’re actually giving something up when you quit alcohol. I’ve done it myself - I’ve felt utter horrible dread at the prospect of never drinking again (arghhh!) but that’s stupid! It’s what alcohol does to you! I no longer feel dread at not drinking ever again. I feel GOOD about it.

The only negative aspect is, and this may be due to the recency of my quitting, that I don’t trust myself 100% to not fall back into old thought processes.

I honestly don’t care if I never become the perfect person I’d like to be. I am just glad I’m not drinking. I’d take being a fat troubled procrastinating non-drinker over being a fatter, more troubled, more severely procrastination drinker any day

49

OK, ‘implore’ is the wrong word to use there. It doesn’t mean what I thought it meant.

What I’m saying is “I think people should not think they are giving something up”

I know most drinkers will think like that (I did myself) So I don’t mean any disrespect.
If it’s any help, here’s what helped me - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Allen-Carrs-Easy-Control-Alcohol/dp/0572028504/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1230492394&sr=8-1

I’ve been reluctant to admit or mention this book, because I feared that someone would come along and say “That book doesn’t work for reason X” or “I tried that book and now I drink worse than ever” or “The success of this book is only as a placebo” (If you think it will work, it will work) But nothing ever works for 100% of the people 100% of the time,

50

Interesting that you brought up the religious aspects of AA - it was one of my reasons for avoiding AA at first, and to this day, that bugs the shit out of me. However, I found meetings of Quad-A - Alcoholics Anonymous for Atheists & Agnostics - not too far from me, and those are the meetings I attend. No prayers, no “give it up to God,” no “Your higher power is anything you want it to be” BS. I’ve tried some of the regular AA meetings and while I didn’t find them detrimental, I was put off by all the God stuff.

Now, as for the other stuff, think of it all in any way that helps you. Just remember that there are MANY resources if you do think you’re falling into old thought patterns, and it’s not limited to AA. I found a sliding-scale therapist who specializes in addiction issues through Catholic Charities, of all places - but it’s just therapy. No religion.

Don’t forget that you’ve spent a long time pouring a depressant straight into your head. Things will get weird for you at some point now that you’ve stopped. Maybe look into those resources now and put them on a Post-It for future reference, should your old thought patterns return, or in case some new unpleasant ones crop up.

51

Eh, if it helped you, that’s what’s important. You’re correct that nothing works for everyone. Just don’t close yourself off from the other ideas out there. I don’t think that MORE information is ever a bad thing, so even if you’re absolutely dead-set against AA or anything like that, you could read a few books on alcoholism or recovery. I’m in no place to say if you’re an alcoholic or an abusive drinker or what. If you think it’s a possibility that you’re an alcoholic, though, besides the behavior (drinking), you need to be aware of the genetic component of the disease. If you’re wired for it, then you’re wired for it. Knowing it’s there can only help you in dealing with it.

52

Before my son was born, I gave a lot of lip service to eating healthfully but didn’t actually do it. I ran marathons - how unhealthy could I be? Right. After he was born, I found out that my cholesterol was over 270. That was exactly the wakeup call I needed. If I kept doing what I was doing, I’d wind up like a friend of mine who passed away last year of a heart attack at 30. I joined WW the next day and have maintained a weight loss of 25 pounds, lowering my cholesterol more than 70 points. I still have more weight to lose, which should hopefully lower my cholesterol even more, but getting started and sticking to it was even harder than childbirth. At least that’s over in a couple of days and requires little willpower.

I thought my MD was such an asshole when he told me it was simple - just eat less, move more. Turns out that, for me, he was absolutely right. It just wasn’t as easy as it sounded, but was a remarkably simple formula. One that probably saved my life, has helped reduce the potential for disease later on, and has also set my toddler up for healthful eating and has helped my husband lose weight, too. I also feel so much better. When I was carrying around that weight, my joints used to ache, I got sick more easily and movement took much more effort. Running without dragging an extra 25 pounds was a revelation, making me look forward to the next 25 pounds I’m going to lose even more.

53

Thank you, everyone so far (I’ve read every entry up to halfway down page 2). Your stories are courageous and inspiring. I’m happy for you all :slight_smile:

I just wanted to say heck yeah! :smiley: That’s EXACTLY it… it just feels right!

54

I quit smoking a year ago Thursday.

55

Became vegetarian and got my ass back to the gym to try and undo several years of serious abuse to my poor knees.

56

Running, I lost 50 pounds. While I still jump up and down the scale, I have my weight fairly under control.

Buying wine, this may sound strange. I usually only buy “Things” like my computers and instruments, and whatever else. For me to invest in something seemingly frivolous like wine is a big step towards me being a more fun person. I can talk and recommend wines now. Makes me a little more interesting.

But yeah…I still have a long ways to go if purchasing wine is a huge lifestyle change

57

The biggest thing? Getting out of debt. Now I control my money, not the other way around.

Biggest work in progress? Getting in good physical shape. I plan to do the CN Tower Stair Climb next November.

Two years ago I tried a stair-climber machine for the first time. I took 14 steps and collapsed to the floor, gasping for breath. Now I do it in ten-minute sets. And that’s increasing. My theory is, if I can figure out how long it would take that particular machine at my gym to do 1776 steps, the number in the Tower, and then work up to that length of time, I’ll be good to go. :smiley:

58

Agreed. I used to bite my nails waaay below the cuticle level. The Giver Of Life (aka Mom) says I always used to do this as a child. The 'rents even used to do heinous stuff like dip my fingers in jalapeno juice, lemon juice, paint my fingernails with clear polish… you name it, they tried it. I kept biting until my fingers bled. And it hurt to touch things.

Even after I learned how to type, I still did it. Ouch. It wasn’t until one day when I saw a very unattractive person (ahem) while waiting for the bus biting their nails did I think ‘Is that what I look like???’.

Every once in a while I do it now, but only to clean up cuticles or corners after trimming them properly.

Oral fixation? Maybe. Maybe I just miss the boobies. :smiley:

Single, by the way. Just sayin’.

59

This is truly a deeply stirring thread.

I recovered from a crippling depression that ate several precious months of my life in late 2004/early 2005, largely due to meeting Agent Foxtrot. No matter what happens, I will always be deeply grateful to him for that.

I’ve switched from Coke to diet drinks. Maybe not a big whoop to some people, but it took some willpower on my part. Now I find sugary sodas gross.

I became a metalhead.

I also once felt gay people were morally wrong, not so much evil and bent on world domination, just wrong. Believe it or not, getting involved in online fandom completely changed my perspective. Of course, I was like 13 at the time, too.

I’ve got control over 80% of my trichotillomania.

60

Holy crap! It’s you, Mississippiennne! Hi! Speaking of changes, it’s been a long time since this thread and my life has changed quite a bit since then in large part because of what you told me. How you’ve been? You should PM me :slight_smile: