What's the stupidest adage you've ever heard?

A Stitch in Time Saves Nine

…Ohhhhh-kay…nine what exactly? And how does one go about stitching time? What kind of thread do you use?

I miss our AWOL smileys.

Personally, I like “the early bird gets the worm”, not because of its meaning or anything, but just because then I get to tell whoever said it that “yes, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
As for the worst “There’s more than one way to skin a cat” gets my vote. Honestly, why would I want to skin a cat, much less enough of them to experiment. And what is it trying to say? That there’s more to solve problem you shouldn’t have in the first place?

Ignorance is bliss.

The full saying is actually “Where ignorance is bliss, ‘Tis folly to be wise." I hate it when people don’t know something they should and they just smile and say “ignorance is bliss.”

Since you guys hit the ones I was gonna bring, there is that TV commercial for Focus Factor - I think it is supposed to be a smart pill. Some old woman, that looks like a Far Side character, says: “Their giving it away free!?! It must be good!”
:rolleyes:

As happy as a clam? When many clams are used for chowder, how happy can they be?

Nine stitches.

Suppose you have a garment that gets torn. If you leave it for a while, the tear will probably get bigger, and it will need nine stitches. But if you stitch it in time, you’ll can get away with only one stitch.

I used to hate that adage until i found out what it was about. Now I think it’s extremely average.
One adage I hate is Charity starts at home.

Why??? Are people somehow more deserving of charity just because they happen to be located in close proximity to me?

I never understood, ‘A smile so sweet butter wouldn’t melt’.
Shouldn’t it be "A smile so **cool ** butter wouldn’t melt’?

The engineer’s response “The glass is not half empty, the glass is not half full, the glass is too big!

I also hate “the proof is in the pudding” WTF? “The proof of the pudding is in the eating.” makes some sense, sometimes you can’t tell how good something is just by looking at the surface.

I can’t make an original contribution because what I would have posted was expressed perfectly by Spoonbender in this thread:

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise (smug git)

Someone once altered this to:

“Early to bed, early to rise,
Your girl goes out with other guys”

Much better, but I’ve no idea who changed it

I always figured it meant that blood (genetic kinship) is thicker (more important than) water (the baptismal water that presumably makes us all brothers and sisters in Christ). With the useful analog of real life, where blood really is thicker than water.

“Hey, I ordered a cheeseburger!”

Or, as I like to say, “If he’s so smart, how come he’s dead?”

I think a lot of adages are stupid because they are robbed of context. Like that “pudding” one. I thought the adage was “The proof of the meal is in the pudding. . .” although the variant brought up a few posts earlier makes sense too. Still, “the proof is in the pudding” is much funnier.

But a lot of them are robbed of meaning by leaving the important bits out. “The LOVE OF money. . .” being a prime example.

I don’t have a good example of bad adages, but I will share my favorite because it is so stupid and almost nonsensical:

A kind word butters no parsnips.

Think about it. If that doesn’t work for you:

Zits spelled backwards is Stiz! Bring that up at your next cocktail party.

Hmm. Perhaps, but not all adages are meant for all people. Pick a situation… oh, like my rooommate who casts eye-daggers through the cinderblock wall at the party next door. Says he wishes they’d be more considerate [about the noise]; he’s never been to a party. Sit. 2: People who have something that’s broken, but don’t fix it. They change their lives around it; they change other people’s lives around it. It doesn’t matter what it is (electronic piece, instrument, cabinet, sibling relations), this candle adage is about refusing to fix that which needs to be fixed.

<oh dear. I’ve written a meta-adage.>

What? Dogs return to their vomit? Really?

The Perfect Master had an extensive discussion a while ago on this one.

“You can’t solve a problem by throwing money at it.”

Well, actually, often you can. It’s remarkable how enough money can make problems go away.

You haven’t spent a lot of time around dogs, have you? They lap that stuff up like it’s gravy. That’s why they’re dogs.

It’s trying to say there’s more than one way to look at a given situation/go about accomplishing something. Terribly macabre way of saying it, but that’s the gist.

Ex Machina took mine earlier (I knew someone would), but I can’t stand “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” I don’t want to have it; I want to eat it. What else would I do with it? Pin it to my lapel?