Dude, stupid as that was, I don’t even think it makes the top 5 in this thread. Don’t feel bad; neither did my example. 
Holy crap I was at that same show!!! Small World… Small Dope… A lot of people at the Concert… I think I just added my stupid thing just now
that’s great! Kudos to you!
I once had an elementary school teacher tell the class that one of the differences between frogs and toads is that frogs have teeth. You had to be careful with the big ones, like bullfrogs, becasue they could bite off a finger!
I wouldn’t call that immediately unbelievable.
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_118.html
Various things included in our food have what we consider gross origins. But process anything enough and you’ve just got a chemical really.
Now, most probably there isn’t any (intentional) use of grasshoppers in peanut butter, but I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if there was some sort of something that has a “gross” origin in some major brand.
U.S. specific, and not horrifying, but still an amazing comment.
Many moons ago, when I worked in a cube farm, a co-worker was being grateful out loud that the company gave us the Friday after Thanksgiving as a holiday. Another co-worker said, “Oh, is Thanksgiving on a Thursday this year?”
Being used to vacuous comments from her cube, we didn’t point and hoot, and I’m not sure she ever realized what she said.
I have a Creationist friend (they are a fount of wisdom, aren’t they) who insists that people and dinosaurs lived at the same time and that the world is only 6000+ years old. My son heard her say that and said, “Yeah, The Flintstones was a documentary!” I told him to apologize for being rude but later told him that if he wanted to debate something with her he should do it politely and with facts, not insults and sarcasm. I did admit to him that I thought he was funny, though.
A woman at a company I used to work at was regularly astounding us with the depth of her knowledge. Someone said that she was so stupid that her Trivial Pursuit game contained only one card, so she got the nickname “One Card Kathy”. She was positive that not only did the sun go around the Earth (why else would you see it moving) but that the Earth was the actual center of the Universe.
Her knowledge of astronomy also included the nuggets that we get our seasons as the Sun moves closer to and farther from the Earth. I thought maybe she was referring to the tilt of the Earth’s axis but she meant literally the sun moving billions of miles away and then coming closer. She also thought that the shuttle flew around like an X-wing, making whooshing sounds. I explained that space is a vacuum and sound won’t travel in a vacuum. She said, “Of course it will. My vacuum makes lots of noise!”
She also believed that:
- Viet Nam and Korea are actually the same country
- Egypt was part of Europe
- the Queen of England was elected
- airplanes only fly because they have engines (I didn’t even want to figure out what she would think about sailplanes and hang gliders)
- if you were the recipient of a heart transplant you will have the memories of the donor and fall in love with whoever they loved (because we say, “I love you with all my heart”)
It took so much effort to not laugh out loud at her, roll my eyes or yell at her, “OMFG, how can you be so stupid!!! You obviously have no higher brain function so let’s pull the plug on you now!”
My college roommate -
“The sky is blue because it reflects the ocean”. Keep in mind he said this in Laramie, Wyoming.
How newborn? i wasn’t very old at all before I began conniving. According to mom.
This actually isn’t as stupid as you’d think. The book Fast Food Nation discusses it. While the book doesn’t specifically mention Lays Potato Chips, it does talk about fast food chains like McDonald’s and Burger King whose food is so processed that by the time it reaches your neighborhood chain store it tends to be as tasty as cardboard. These large chains actually DO treat their processed foods with chemical additives to make the food taste more like “real food.”
Slightly along those lines, there was a recent article in Forbes about how many big-name stores pipe in pleasing scents to lull shoppers into being more amenable to buying products. It’s not too absurd to think that perhaps Lays Potato Chips might have some chemical additive to make it seem tastier than food that’s been mass-produced should.
Ah, it all makes sense now. Thanks for clearing that up.
I believe it. People are shady. And they’re starting 'em younger and younger these days. 
That made me laugh, too. “Ahh, it was supposed to be two squares.”
(And I know I need a language pack installed, I’m just too lazy.)
Oh, I thought of another one.
Years ago, when the health-care industry was beginning to be aware of AIDS, I worked at a hospital. We had all been to training classes about new procedures, etc., in which the instructor stated that the AIDS virus could be killed with soap and water.
After the class, my coworker said, “Well, that’s BS. If that were true, why wouldn’t they just inject soap and water into the patients’ veins?”
Gee, I dunno, maybe because that would kill them??
Ahh, another! I once had an assistant who called in sick because she had come down with the flu from talking with her sick mother… over the phone. This young lady was fully conviced that germs and viruses could travel over phone lines. She also claimed that she could detect her father’s bad breath… over the phone.
The crazy guy was talking just got home from the hospital-new.
That’s okay; we were only one kind of “dope” represented at that concert; by the time the band came back for the encore you could just about walk on the layer of smoke that hung over the stadium floor, so a lot of people were having “momentary lapses” that night. 
Lately all the stupid I’m getting is coming from one guy – a longtime friend of my employer, who’s taken over management of my department. It’s more stupid-in-aggregate, or stupid-by-attrition. Here’s an example from last week, when we were fillng a large order for our biggest account, Canada’s largest garment retailer:
This client is very particular, and we have a merchant agreement with them that’s such that they charge us $500 per hour for the time it takes them to correct anything that isn’t just so.
They require hanging styles to be tagged with their price-tags at the left sleeve, for optimum visibility on the rack. Our manager instructed us to tag them at the collar, because it was a tiny bit faster and he didn’t want us to go into overtime. “So you’re going to pay six people $15.00/hr to do something that you know will be done over by someone else, who will charge us about five times as much per hour to correct our mistake?” “Not my problem, I just have to get it out on time.”
A few minutes later, a guy sticks himself with the tagging gun, and when I’m showing him how to change the needle and properly dispose of the old one in accordance with safety regulations, buddy says not to change the needle unless it’s broken. “I’ve stuck myself with those things hundreds of times, and I’m not dead yet.” (He is fully cognizant of the fact that at least one of the people in the tagging group carries hepatitis C.)
A bit later, he directs us to use some manky, marked-up (but already assembled) boxes to pack a fill order. They are our largest boxes, and the order is split across dozens of outlet stores across Canada, and this would make each box less than one-third full, even if cut down to its smallest size. When this is explained, he says “I don’t care how much space is left in the boxes.” Apart from making the boxes impossible to skid up and ship across Canada without being crushed, the biggest problem with this is that the volume of the shipment is more than 150% what it needs to be. I do some back-of-the-envelope calculations and show him that shipping costs would be calculated according to volumetric weight, and his “frugality” with time and materials would actually cost several hundred dollars in additional shipping costs. “That’s okay, the customer pays for shipping.” :smack:
Why am I posting this during a workday afternoon, you ask? Personal day. Putting my resume out there.
I heard a commercial on the radio this morning that qualifies for this thread.
As background, there has been an ad for Buick running for the last couple of weeks touting the GPS features of OnStar.
(Paraphrasing commercial)
This morning they ran a local commercial sponsored by the Utah Buick Dealers. Keep the same dialog as above, but substitute “Temple Square” for “Carnegie Hall.” :eek: 
:eek:
A coworker once asked a group of us, “Whose name tag is this?”
Gee, do you think that maybe the name on the front might tell you?
I was informed, while at a funeral where I learned of the birth of a friend’s child, that when someone dies, someone else is born. The person who informed me of this “fact” couldn’t be bothered to explain how the population manages to keep growing, though…