What's the tackiest item decorating your house?

In My Humble Opinion
61

My house is full of tacky, mostly because I don’t actually mind tacky.

Praying wood people - We got these 2 pictures from my boyfriend’s grandparents, probably 7 years ago. They gave them to us about a year before his grandfather died, probably because they knew that we would appreciate them, while most normal people would throw them away. They’re hanging between the closets in our spare bedroom.

Buddha bed side lamp

The head of a black man. A friend of my boyfriend’s grandfather brought this home from a trip. Grandpa kept it on display but Grandma hated it with a passion (as did the rest of the family). I fell in love with it the first time I saw it and when Grandpa died, Grandma gave it to me. He now sits on my desk.

I don’t have the slightest clue what this thing is. Something else we inherited from the boyfriend’s grandpa. I think he was planning on using it as the base of a table but never got around to it. At some point, we’ll do it but we also haven’t gotten around to it. At the moment, it holds the garage door remote and it gets knocked over frequently.

Just one of the tacky posters we have. We have many posters, most are cool (original Star Wars posters, almost 40-year-old Hobbit posters, etc.) But, we also have things like this little gem. We also have a lifesize standup cardboard Spock. He scares the shit out of my puppies.

Set piece reject. This was a set piece on a sports talk show. After it had been sitting in a corner collecting dust for quite a few years, my boyfriend brought it home to fill a bare spot above the window. It’s cheap and always looks like it’s upside down but we like it.

Ever use a Magic 8-Ball? This is a Magic 8-Yoda. He has a position of honor on the mantle.

Mildly NSFW - Naked girls. These were painted by my boyfriend’s great grandfather. The were paint by number, and were a gag gift given to him by his oldest son. Grandpa then made the frames. A nephew inherited them but his wife wouldn’t let him but them in the house. He kept them in the garage. When the garage burned down, these survived. Nothing else did. Shortly before the cousin died (much too early), he gave the girls to my boyfriend (we think because he knew I would allow them to be displayed in my house). They have had a position of honor ever since.

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My boyfriend just told me that the guy who gave Grandpa the bust, is the same guy who gave him the strange thing I can’t identify and the carved profile pictures. I think I would have liked this guy.

62

I have a few of those pictures!

My boyfriend’s grandfather and sister took classes with Bob Ross a very very long time ago and we have a few of their paintings.

63

There’s a planter sitting on the kitchen hearth that looks like half of a small child, from the waist down, complete with real kiddy rubber boots. I didn’t buy it, I have nothing whatsoever to do with it. It gives me the willies.

Some friends of mine have a taxidermied elk ass hanging over their fireplace. They acquired it many years ago when they were involved in a scavenger hunt. They knocked on the door of a fraternity house to ask for items, and when the fellas couldn’t help them with any listed items, they decided the elk ass would be just the thing for the bonus item, “the strangest thing anybody brings back.” They won. I can’t believe the frat brothers gave up such a stellar piece of kitsch.

64

I would call it a caryatid column part, just not a cute grecian woman, but some sort of asian thingy. Perhaps a burmese KiRin [um, foo dog or ‘unicorn’ mythic figure] Seems to be carven of teak. Probably about 100-125 years old or so.

65

I don’t care what it is! I want it!

66

I’ve got one of these bad boys in my living room, positioned to stare down all who dare enter my lair.

It’s in a cabinet drying, but I think my plaster of paris Ricardo Montalban deathmask just might give the conquistador a run for the money.

67

I can’t compete. The tackiest thing I’ve got is a set of bookends, white ceramic lowercase a and z, covered in painted on vines with rosebuds, with my name written across the top.

I do have my aunt in a box on my bureau in my bedroom, but that’s more lack of options than decor.

68

A huge gourd that you can put over your head, with two eye holes. The stem end is the snout.

69

We have a small shrine of religious kitsch items from our travels, including a Mary-shaped bottle of Lourdes water, a glow-in-the-dark St Anthony from Padua, a snow globe depicting some Marian vision, a badly-painted plastic St Catherine of Siena, several stand-up plaques (the kind you stick on your dashboard) of saints and Marys, and - my personal favourite - a tiny statuette of Mary, made from glow-in-the-dark plastic, which I lifted from the giftshop at Montserrat after they ripped us off on a sandwich. It’s so badly made it looks more like a big glob of dried up bird turd in a little plastic case, rather than the Mother of God, or even anything vaguely human.

70

I’ve got a lamp made out of a real bowling pin. The story behind it was that it started out as a normal table lamp, but when I was about three years old I knocked it off the table and broke it. My dad then took the hardware and wiring from it and installed them in an old bowling pin. The lamp was in my bedroom growing up and I still have it today.

71

I have this Cinzano painting hanging in my living room. Along with this. In my black and white room, these are my two pops of color.

72

I might have converted to Judaism had I known I could have a dog menorah! Hmmm, I wonder if it would be tacky for an atheist to own one. ponders

73

Either the road signs on the walls, or the hubcaps above the entry-way in the dining room. Maybe the mannequin legs in the lace thong, or the life sized anatomy skeleton in a Cincinnati Bengals jersey with knock off Wayfarers. Maybe it’s the collection of ceramic/wax/plastic/wooden owls I have all over the apartment. Or the plastic foil framed reproduction of Action Comics on the wall behind the coat tree. It could be the broken (stuck on 78 degrees) garden thermometer ftom the 70’s hanging on my bedroom wall.

74

And here it is, for your delectation and edification. I see that I was wrong about the clothing, but I was right about how tacky it is.

Looking at it, I’m wondering if it’s supposed to be a dancing boy, and if what I thought were boobs are actually supposed to be pecs. I suppose the mystery is part of the charm.

75

I think it’s a dancing boy. Thanks for posting the pic!

76

I used to have an Ronald McDonald statue. One of those full size ones-he was 6’ at the shoulder.

His head had fallen off.

I turned him into a floor lamp.

Finally got rid of it during one of my last moves. The fucker weighed 250…300 lbs.

77

I have a Donald Rumsfeld doll, it talks. I haven’t found a good spot for him though, so right now he’s in a cabinet - it seemed appropriate.

I have a Darth Tater and a Beast of Caerbannog, but that’s not tacky, is it?

I also have a papier mâché monster/dinosaur thingy that I made. It looks a bit like Scrat from the Ice Age movies, some might think it tacky but I call it art.

Mostly, my house in general is tacky. They painted the kitchen pepto bismol pink!

78

Disco Jesus. A typical bad jesus painting with little twinkling lights outlining Jesus, the cross, and miscellaneous other bits in the picture.

A prized possession.

79

My brother has a bunch of Old Style stuff in his room. My husband saw a Molson sign at a flea market this past weekend and wanted to get it. I asked him where he’d put it… he said above the bed. I said, “Wrong answer,” and walked away.

80

Well, it’s not actually decorating the house, since we refuse to take it out of the box, but the box is still out in the open, with a picture of the contents.
It’s a Star Trek Enterprise Phone. You pick up the main body of it and the front saucer comes with it, acting as the earpiece. The base is in the shape of a starfleet badge, with lots of buttons.

It is geeky beyond words.
Someone gave it to us because the knew we were science fiction fans, but this goes beyond either of our tastes, or thresholds of tackiness. But we can’t bring ourselves to throw it out or regift it.