In his marvelous book “Bunny Bunny” SNL writer recalls when he was really mad at Gilda Radner and thought “I hate her. I really do. More than Hitler even.”
I’d never say to anyone “I hate you more than I hate Hitler,” but I’ve thought it a few times.
While in an insult match online, my friend and I discovered that you could type “sweet fat rat bastard” using only the left hand’s portion of the keyboard.
Well, in elementry school, a common insult among the us children was - “You Stick!”
And there is the “I hate you with the rage of a 1000 nazi parties.”
Long, long time ago I watched a friends kids during the day while she worked. The 6-year old daughter didn’t take kindly to some decision I’d made regarding lunch and, trying to summon the worst possible thing to call me, sputtered with venom, “You…you… BABYSITTER!” To this day, when my husband and I want to call each other a vile name, we use “BABYSITTER!”
I once worked with a guy who was born in Mexico. We got in an argument and he called me something in Spanish. I started waving my arms and shouting gibberish that I made up as I went along. Something like, “Gallifooooondatee! Fairqualnikofe yen bet (counting on my fingers) botya, chapun, gefitt, ol fetcha!” We hollered like that for a couple of minutes, neither one of us having any idea what the other was saying.
Nott
Black pants let everyone know you have a cat.
Without a doubt, cumaquarium. It just popped out of my mouth.
NumbKnuckle…I think I was trying to say “numbskull” and “knucklehead” and got confused…sigh…
Margo
“I hope you get gang raped by a bunch of retarded people!”
in 8th grade I called a girl a mentrual chunk. It still turns my stomach thinking about it. :smack:
I called someone at school a “fucking faggo butt-lip” once.
Dude! Gold Gun thats terrible! But, uh, the word butt-lip is hilarious. And Micheal Ellis’s politically correct one made me laugh for a few minutes straight… this is great…
I’ve called someone as asshead as well…one time, while waiting in this huge line at the Hollywood Bowl this guy cut in front of another guy…
Guy 1: “Hey Buster! Get back to the end of the line!”
Guy 2: “My name’s not Buster.”
Guy 1: “No, your name is mud…”
I don’t know how old you are or when your mother started calling you “farthead”, but it was a common insult among my children and their classmates as early as 1984. And I’d guess it goes back considerably farther than that.
As for “May the bird of paradise fly up your nose”, that is in fact the title of a country song, sung (if I remember correctly) by Little Jimmy Dickens in the late '60s. The chorus (again trusting to memory) went something like:
Anyway, as for original insults: I once said of a dim-witted coworker (to his boss) “He wouldn’t know an original idea if it crawled up his ass and played rugby with his rectum!” Since that time I’ve become rather fond of the phrase, and there are always plenty of opportunities to use it accurately.
I dunno that this is too bad, but we were in a heated discussion and I finally told him to stick a wrench up his ass. Sideways. You can replace wrench with any number of things: wolverines, porcupines… let your lack of consideration for your fellow man be your guide!
Turd Burglar.
Not sure what it means, but it sounds good.
After a botched haircut, a friend called me “A geek with ears”.