I think that’s a common problem in the dating scene. Most people want somebody with a higher “romantic market value” than they have themselves. Which makes sense, but can lead to a lot of frustration.
There was a thread here a couple weeks back where some woman who was old and overweight wanted a guy who was young and fit. Doesn’t matter if you are black or white, those kinds of standards have the potential to run you into problems.
Do people actually use “out of wedlock” these days?
Shit, I remember going to clubs in Salt Lake, back in the 80s, and found them filled with single mothers. They were white but divorced so I guess they’re better than them black trash that have kids out of wedlock. Yessiree. That’s a real bad sin there, ain’t it.
Hi there. 
What are you trying to say?
Do you think I, or anyone, claimed anywhere, in any way, that white people with bastards (is that better than out-of-wedlock for you?) are better than black people with bastards?
How is this interesting? Black people are being analyzed into oblivion. What could you or anyone possibly add that everyone hasn’t heard before?
Well, she didn’t mention whether or not she’s psycho.
I can deal with psycho. In fact, I’m unsure of what to do with a woman who isn’t.
I just shit my pants with joy.
Damn, you’re sexy!
Well, now you’ve gone and blown it. Way to go.
Now, being Swedish in Sweden certainly disqualifies me from offering an opinion or insight into the ways of Blacks in America, however…
Is the phenomenon we’re talking about an issue of ethnicity or social class? I find the, albeit generalized, description in the OP to have some bearing on the permanently unemployed, below working class Swedish and immigrant people in Sweden - they have kids earlier, marry earlier and get divorced earlier.
What the OP says seems to be true based on my scattered screening of American Soaptalks (Dr Phil, Rikki Lake) and valid for both whites and blacks, who are poor.
I’ve looked at his posts differently since this one. He doesn’t know much about the black community (how ever you’d like to define that), yet he can tell everyone about the thought process of the black teen.
I do admit that people are on pins and needles when it comes to these kinds of threads.* That’s because for every thread where someone is genuinely curious, there are so many others that are basically asking “why are blacks so weird/dumb/not like regular people?” Imagine a reverse SDMB with questions like-
Why do whites give their kids last names as first names?
My white friend says white people don’t like okra. Whats up with that, white people???
Why do whites talk through their noses?
Why are white church services so boring?
I just saw White Men Can’t Jump. Is this why there are so few white basketball players?
Why do whites stand so close when they’re talking to you? etc. etc.
I don’t know about everyone else (Jali, as this month’s spokesperson, I await your answer), but sometimes people want me to explain black behavior in real life too. These questions can lead to interesting discussions, but it can get old after awhile.
*For example, if that was you (I’m usually good at remebering random stuff like this, but am too lazy to look it up.) that I was sarcastic to in the "do blacks swim thread. Sorry about that.
Yep, psycho. 
Hey, sphincter-challenged does not necessarily equal psycho, man.
Omega, I take your point, but to some degree, being able to talk about things like this is what makes this message board what it is. I will never know what it’s like to be a gay man, but I can read about “the gay experience” from people who are living it, and come away with a better understanding. I think the same holds true for questions about any other ethnicity/race/whatever. Maybe we have to start from the stereotypes and mis-conceptions, and move on from there.
What I’m saying is who the fuck cares if babies are born to a mother who is single when the baby is born or becomes single again afterwards via a divorce. As OneCent says, there’s plenty of divorced white women out there. You seem obsessed with it though.
Damn near every time I hear the phrase out of wedlock it’s by some Christian nut. It, and your other term, bastards, refer to children of parents who are not married, even if they live together.
Also check out Iceland which has a high rate of bastards
I seem obsessed with what?
The OP was talking about his black co-worker who was lamenting that there seem to be too many black women his age with out of wedlock babies.
OneCent seemed to be trying to indicate that the OP’s perspective was narrow, and perhaps based on stereotypes and was chiming in with some anecdotal evidence as if that disproved it.
I was merely pointing out that, yes, black women do have more children illegitimately/out-of-wedlock/padre absentii/or whatever the fuck bullshit term you think I should use so that you realize I’m not actually putting a fucking value judgment on it.
If you want to dispute that fact, then take it up with the same people who informed you the sun rises in the east.
If you want to ascribe some christian/right wing/racist/whatever motive to me for bringing it up, then you’re barking up the wrong fucking tree, dude.
My face has contorted itself into a smile I’m so unhappy.
No. the OP was talking about his co-worker who was complaining about mothers with children from several different fathers. He did not say diddlyswat about if these women had never been married or serially married or whatever.
The only person in this thread who is concerned about the marital status of the mother at the time the child is born is you.
Who gives a flying fuck about that?
I see a lot of convervative Christian wingnut also obsessed with it. I never said you are one, but you do keep good company.
Not to cut in on you two dancin’ fools, but simply to clarify: I actually wasn’t thinking about the distinction at all - I had kind of lumped “women who had children while unmarried” and “women who had children, then got divorced” into one big “eligible women with kids” group. That the two subgroups might skew differently between blacks and whites was not something on my mind, though I can see how it might be true.
OK, please continue.