I was in a meeting just Friday with a woman who has this habit when her face is at rest, or perhaps she’s just listening hard. As she’s aged and the face is fleshier and the lines are deeper, it’s that’s much more obvious.
StG
I understand how off-putting this can be. I have a good friend who I’m sure is trying to indicate his interest in what you’re talking about, but he basically interrupts your speech with rapid "uh-huh, uh-huh"s if you say more than a couple of sentences, so it comes off like he’s trying to get you to shut up already. He isn’t, because he doesn’t step on the end of your last sentence with some new topic, but it tends to make me shut up earlier than I would otherwise, just because it feels like he clearly understands what you’re trying to get at and is beyond that topic of conversation already.
This, or maybe trying to squinch up the right section of the bifocal into place.
Everyone tells me I look like I’m upset or sad all the time. I’m NOT, but I guess I just have that kind of face that always looks sad.
Ok, If he just started frowning at you lately, and this is not something he has done before, and you have known him well for years, but he’s only 40 and hasn’t had physical changes or whatever, then this could easily be because something has happened that has changed his opinion of you, whether its one thing, or a slow progression.Maybe you tend to talk on and on and on? Maybe you always talk about yourself, or tend to make conversations change to be about you (“that reminds me of the time I did this”, “Oh that same thing happened to me” etc), maybe you are condescending, or any one of dozens of things that would make a person start frowning in mid conversation if they’ve grown tired of it. Often the people who do these things have no idea they are doing it, and would insist they are doing nothing of the sort, so you could very well be doing them too.
Not an accusation, since I don’t don’t know anything about you, just those are the main things that come to mind as reasons someone might start a new habit of frowning at you in mid conversation
Get a hand/pocket mirror to carry around with you. When he makes his face, see what happens when you hold up your mirror, so HE sees his face. I’ll be very surprised if he doesn’t react.
It could become like Dracula and his reflection, instead of holding up a cross, you’ll be holding up a mirror!
Either that or, you could try what Mom always said; “Keep it up and your face is gonna stick like that!”
Many times, when I’m listening to something complicated or just listening very carefully, people will stop and ask me what’s wrong. Nothing, I tell them, just listening.
Turns out my thinky face is also my pissed-off face. Apparently.
My recall face looks like I’m spacing out and ignoring you. I’m not. I recall things visually, so I will close my eyes when I’m trying to remember something because I’m trying to recall a picture in my head and don’t need the static of whatever’s in front of me as a distraction.
So apparently, if I’m trying to remember something or listen carefully to you, I will look like I’m pissed off and/or constipated. Would it help if I said, “Oh, sorry, this is my thinky face, didn’t mean to offend”? Because I’m not quite sure I could control it, if I were even aware that it was offensive.
Scully “Was that a hound baying on the moors?”
Mulder “Actually, that was a one-cheek sneak.”
I’d go with a mildly inappropriate concentration face…but I also know how off-putting this sort of thing can be.
I have a good friend who sprinkles the most mundane commentary, and sometimes serious or sad commentary, with a really lengthy, deep, juicy chortle.
“Better cover up your tomatoes tonight, they’re saying it might freeze, ho ho ho chuckle snort chortle hahahaha.”
“My brother had to go the ER last night, they think he’s passing a kidney stone ho ho ho chuckle snort chortle hahahaha.”
It’s incredibly annoying, but I’ve pointed it out to him a number of times and he doesn’t realise he is doing it. When we talk f2f it’s OK because I just focus on other cues, but I hate talking to him on the phone because it becomes so apparent that he chortles weirdly after every other statement he makes.
A few years ago, my wife taught a class of grade 7 students that was well known among school staff for being difficult and misbehaving. They tended to behave very well for her however.
When my wife is concentrating on something, she can get the meanest, scariest expression on her face, a cold grimace, as if she were contemplating what your last words are going to be, and somehow feeling they will be lacking in depth, poise and enunciation.
They were several months into the semester when she was timidly asked by one student “Why are you so mad all the time…?”
Sadly, after she cleared up the misunderstanding, classroom discipline went out the window.