I’ve been friends with a person for some time. Lately during conversations at times he’ll frown when I’m speaking for no apparent reason. At first I let it go. But he kept it up it and it became distracting enough to the point that I lose my train of thought or ask myself what the hell am I doing or saying that’s making him frown ?
I confronted him about it and asked him whats wrong, what does he not approve etc. He said it’s nothing . I asked him about the frowning then he said he can’t help it. It’s an automatic reaction. Automatic reaction to what I asked ? Being disturbed about something ? No he says.
So does he find what I’m saying offensive and is just being a nice passive aggressive ass about it by saying it’s nothing ?
It’s really annoying and makes hanging out with him no fun at all.
Maybe it is his “oh and what happened next?” face when he is listening. I sort of frown sometimes when people talk to me to show I’m listening, not because I’m disapproving but because I’d rather have some emotions show on my face instead of looking blank when I’m being talked to. Nobody’s reacted negatively to it yet so maybe my frown is less insulting to the talker, who knows.
Some of us lose focus and will occasionally have to concentrate to keep following a conversation. I can imagine that might cause a frown.
Of course, if it were me, and I was losing focus, it could be that someone in the other conversation in my head said something that made me frown. That’s a thing that’s usually best left unexplained. And for me, it’s usually an oddly timed smile, rather than a frown.
How old is he? As we age, we get wrinkles around the face that a lot of people mistake for frowning or anger. Many times I have to tell people “I’m not frowning, my face is.”
And please don’t tell me to “smile” . . . unless you want to see what my real angry face looks like.
*frown (froun)
v. frowned, frown·ing, frowns
v.intr.
To wrinkle the brow, as in thought or displeasure.
To regard something with disapproval or distaste: frowned on the use of so much salt in the food.
v.tr.
To express (disapproval, for example) by wrinkling the brow.
n.
A wrinkling of the brow in thought or displeasure; a scowl. *
In addition to what has been said, some people are born with a face that bears an expression they don’t feel. For some, it’s a scowl or a sneer. For some, it’s a grin or a flirtatious expression. They can’t help it.
As Chipacabra said, a frown is the “thinking hard” face for some people. Richard Nixon was one of those. Some pictures of him in meetings show a deep frown, but it didn’t mean he was feeling grouchy.
My husband has started to frown as his hearing has been going, so maybe your friend is doing the same? In Mr Coat’s case, it means he is having to concentrate to hear clearly.
I admit the poster was extremely rude to say it the way they did, but it honestly would come off as really shallow if you were to end your friendship over that. Few would consider the level of distress you feel to be normal.
In fact, feeling that distressed at the idea that the guy is thinking bad things about you sounds a lot like social anxiety disorder. It also sounds like someone who is looking for a reason to dump a friend (which I assume is not the case) and like someone who is attracted to someone and thus is overreacting to the idea of rejection. And there may be other reasons.
But if you often find yourself preoccupied by what other people think to the point that you are ending friendships because they might be thinking bad thoughts about you, I would definitely suggest being checked for SAD.
I furrow my brow when I’m thinking about something. I’m furrowing my brow as I write this. I’m trying to concentrate. I could see how someone might easily mistake that for a negative reaction, but really it’s just my ‘‘thinking face.’’
