So, If you wanted to take over the world, what would be your grand master plan? I’m talking about the over the top James Bond villain type plans, although I will accept Dr. Evil type plans too…
My plan is this. I would get a massive laser and use it to carve out a large chunk of the earth’s surface. I would then launch it into orbit using my super-rockets. Once it was in orbit I would assemble it into a moon-sized mass and thusly be able to control the tides by moving it around. THUSLY BRINGING WORLDWIDE SHIPPING TO IT’S KNEES!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA Of course once shipping companies worldwide paid me an enormous sum of money, I’d agree to end the horror. Then I’d start demanding ransom from the world’s governments. If they didn’t pay, I’d BLOW UP THE SATTELITE, THUSLY CHANGING WEATHER PATTERNS DRASTICALLY FOR THE NEXT THOUSAND YEARS!! MUHAHAHAHAHA
I think your plan would wreak havoc upon the economies of the world, thus, making any amount of money you receive from them worthless. You’d find yourself poorer than you already are.
Add to this scenerio the fact that violence and anarchy would soon become the law of the land without governments and instutions validation, and you’d be looking at a sad state of an existance.
So, have fun tonight and don’t forget to set the alarm on Sunday night!
I used to think that I’d just poison the backs of postage stamps, but nobody actually licks those things anymore. Perhaps just subtle doses of powerful virii/bacteria/prions in large communal water supplies?
I’d take over the phone systems of unregulated countries, one by one, then offer free phone cards to the US, destroying the current competition, then simply confuse all international messages to diplomats and generals, until they all had to be taken to rubber rooms.
I would corner the market for PC operating systems, then use my power and influence to force my other software products onto consumers, all the while flagrantly violating anti-trust laws. Then, I would go get another $8 haircut. Finally, I would activate the trojan horse programs that were installed with the software that was forced on the public, stealing the bank/credit card account numbers and personal information of 90% of the computerized world. I would destroy economies, bringing the world to its knees, plunging the world into chaos. YOUR SOULS WILL BE MINE!!!
What, like you didn’t expect any Microsoft references?
First of all, I would nuke Los Angeles. Anybody whose bones were left, I would raise them to march in my undead army. From there, they would move out and turn the rest of California into zombies, and then Texas. We’ll skip a lot of the western states, and just take the states that have the highest numbers of elector votes. Then when I have built my undead army into a powerful voter block, I will use it to get Ralph Nader elected. And then you’re all screwed. Nyah ha ha.
I’d shoot all heroic rescuing type guys rather than explaining my plans to them & leaving them to escape (mainly because I don’t yet have any plans, but I’m sure without the heroes around, it’ll be a lot easier to implement something wicked…i may keep a few of them as my sex slaves, but I haven’t decided yet - I mean, how much do you have feed them?)
First, I would try to get laws passed to disarm the citizens. Then I would lobby for all sorts of socialist type programs so that the public was dependant upon the government, thus less likely to rebel.
Then I would try to turn everyone against everyone else: blacks against whites, atheist against christians, poor against rich, etc. Next, I would…
Whoops! This plan isn’t original. The Democrats are already using it!
My plan is fairly simple. First, I would run for the “president of the world” elections. I would enter, not really expecting to win. My two main opponents would be real morons. Everyone would think “Well, no one else will vote for Dave, so I might as well do it as a joke since I don’t like the other two”. Since everyone is thinking that, they all vote for me, thus I am unanimously elected President of the World.
