Elizabeth Bennet: Mister Fry, they tell me you’re quite the oddity, a bachelor at your age.
Fry: You think I’m an oddity, you should see…
Butler: Announcing the arrival of the richest landowner in all Hampshire, Lord Brainley.
Chief Giant Brain: I’m a gigantic brain!
Cheese it!!
Nixon: I’ll sell our children’s organs to zoos for meat, and I’ll go into people’s houses at night and wreck up the place!
Ndnd: For the last time, I don’t like lilacs! Your first wife was the one who liked lilacs!
Lrrr: She also liked to shut up!
This summer.
“Every man for himself save me Leela.”
My Manwich!
Farnsworth: That question is less stupid, though you asked it in a profoundly stupid way.
Future Stock is filled with great quotes:
“Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor.”
“Walt, hit the retaliate button…Press any button! They all retaliate!”
“Jam a bastard in it, you crap!”
“My one regret…is that I have…boneitis!”
"This is not a business. I always thought of it more as a cheap source of labor, like a family. "
“Awesome. Awesome to the max.”
Bender: Well I’m gonna go build my own theme park. With blackjack and hookers! In fact — forget the theme park!
Professor F.: For example, if you killed your grandfather, you’d cease to exist.
Fry: But existing is basically all I do!
Zapp Brannigan: In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces.
Leela: You know what would be fun?
Professor F.: No! Why would I know that?!
Fry: Fine, I’ve got a toast. To Captain Bender, he’s the best… at being a big jerk who’s stupid and his big ugly face is as dumb as a butt!
“Dumb as a butt” kills me.
The big brain am winning! I am the greetest! Mwa-ha-ha-ha! I must now leave Earth for no raisin!
“Come back here Pazuzu, you ungrateful gargoyle! I put you through college!” - Prof.
“And challenging the Iron Cook is Bender, who appears to be some sort of wonderful mechanical man!” - Anouncer in Iron Cook ep.
Windmills do not work that way! Goodnight!
“This is a universal translator. Unfortunately, I can only get it to translate some obscure dead language.” Prof.
“Hello?” - Qbert
“Bonjour!” - Machine
“…crazy gibberish.” - Prof.
Bender: We pollute too much. We’re destroying the world and killing the turtles.
Reverend Preacherbot: To hell with the turtles!
Bender: No one insults the turtles!
“I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.” - The Professor.
"Maybe you can interface with my ass by biting it. "
“I hate myself so much I wish everyone else was dead.” - Bender.
“Sweet Manatee of Galilee!”
“Sweet Pony of Sierra Leone!”
“Sweet Gorilla of Manila!”
“Great Turkey of Albuquerque!”
and many others - Hermes.
Fem-puter: After lengthy femputations, I, Femputer, have decided the fate of the men. Femputer sentences them to death…
[everyone gasps]
Fem-puter: By snu-snu!
Fry, Captain Zapp Brannigan, Bender: Yeah! Woo-hoo!
[Kif starts sobbing]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: [to Kif] What are you? Gay?
Mom: Now I’m off to some charity BS for knocked-up teenage sluts!
And just about any lines with Fry being stupid…which is like all of his lines, heh.
Nibbler: It is best if you avoid deep thought.
Fry: Wha? I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening.
Nibbler: That is most wise.
Fry:…who?
Professor: Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?
Glurmo: Why those are the Grunka-Lunkas! There work here in the Slurm factory.
Professor: Tell them I hate them!
So many of my favorites here.
‘‘Ocean madness is no excuse for ocean rudeness.’’ - Professor
‘‘I’d like to help you, but I’m already in my pajamas.’’ -Professor
‘‘If anybody needs me, I’ll be in my angry dome!’’ - Professor
‘‘Great news, everybody! I have terrible news.’’ - Professor
Hmm, detecting a pattern here.
Number 1.0: “Don’t quote me regulations. I co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to revise the color of the book that regulation’s in. [pauses] We kept it gray.”
Also, Fry’s “Full price for gum?! That dog won’t hunt, Monsignor.”
“Everyone, I have a very dramatic announcement, so anyone with a weak heart should leave now. Goodbye!”
For some reason, one of my favorite Futurama quotes is the Professor’s
“How can we be without power? We live in the future!”
And for a runner up, "“Good news, everyone. Tomorrow you’ll be making a delivery to Ebola 9, the virus planet.”