“It’s Mega-Maid…she’s gone from suck to blow!” - Spaceballs
Wanna play that game, do you?
“Clearly, you’ve never been to Singapore.”
For some reason that kills me every time.
And some more from O Brother, Where Art Thou (which gets my vote as best film of the last 10 years)…
“Oh, George. Not the livestock.”
“That’s not the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the State of Mississippi’s a little more hard-nosed.”
From Blazing Saddles:
“Are we awake?”
“I don’t know. Are we black?”
And I think what makes the jive sequence in Airplane! so perfect is that the ‘Jive Lady’ is played by Barbara Billingsley, aka June Cleaver.
This section from Pulp Fiction kills me every time.
JULES
What country you from!
BRETT
(petrified)
What?
JULES
"What" ain't no country I know! Do
they speak English in "What?"
BRETT
(near heart attack)
What?
JULES
English-motherfucker-can-you-speak-
it?
BRETT
Yes.
JULES
Then you understand what I'm sayin'?
BRETT
Yes.
JULES
Now describe what Marsellus Wallace
looks like!
BRETT
(out of fear)
What?
Jules takes his .45 and PRESSES the barrel HARD in Brett's
cheek.
JULES
Say "What" again! C'mon, say "What"
again! I dare ya, I double dare ya
motherfucker, say "What" one more
goddamn time!
Brett is regressing on the spot.
JULES
Now describe to me what Marsellus
Wallace looks like!
Brett does his best.
BRETT
Well he's... he's... black –
JULES
– go on!
BRETT
...and he's... he's... bald –
JULES
– does he look like a bitch?!
BRETT
(without thinking)
What?
Jules' eyes go to Vincent, Vincent smirks, Jules rolls his
eyes and SHOOT Brett in the shoulder.
Brett SCREAMS, breaking into a SHAKING/TREMBLING SPASM in
the chair.
JULES
Does-he-look-like-a-bitch?!
BRETT
(in agony)
No.
JULES
Then why did you try to fuck 'im
like a bitch?!From Blazing Saddles?
“It’s twu, it’s twu!”
(To which the unedited response, I’ve heard, was supposed to be “Excuse me madame but you’re sucking on my elbow”)
And while we’re on Lily Von Schtup (so to speak 
)
“…and the men alway coming and going and going and coming and aways too soon…”
What nobody’s mentioned the ultimate last line:
“Nobody’s perfect”
Already mentioned, but worthy of repeating:
“shitter’s full”
From Seems Like Old Times:
Goldie Hawn: <hyperventilating> “I can’t breathe!”
Charles Grodin: “What do you mean, ‘you can’t breathe’? All you’re doing is breathing!”
For some reason, it doesn’t seem as funny when you read it, but the first time I saw the movie, I was rolling at that line.
From Dumb and Dumber:
<Harry strangles Lloyd after Harry realizes Lloyd has both pairs of mittens on, leaving him with nothing.>
Lloyd: “Harry, your hands are freezing!”
“Harry, you’re alive! And you’re a horrible shot!”
- Lloyd, Dumb and Dumber
“There’s always time for lubrication!”
- Evolution
and to continue from one above:
“Yes, we’re black.”
“Then we’re awake, but we’re very puzzled.”
- Gene Wilder’s delivery is priceless. Blazing Saddles
Snicks
"So ***that’s * ** what an invisible barrier looks like . . . "
The film: Mystery Science Theatre 3000: Amazing Colossal Man
(onscreen, Col. Manning is reliving his combat service. We see a montage of WWII battle scenes)
Crow T. Robot: Stock footage is hell, Sarge!
From The History of the World, Part I:
Empress Nympho:
“Bob, oh Bob, do I have any openings which this man might fit?”
“Could you please step on the same foot at the same time? My tits are falling off!”
Bernaise:
“That’s it sire, you look like the piss boy.”
Count de Money:
“And you look like a bucket of shit!”
Just a side note, one of my friends brought “The Life of Brian” in to school on the last day of our Junior year. We watched it in Latin class. I thought my teacher was going to piss himself during the Latin lesson scene.