“How do we know he’s not Mel Torme?” - Top Secret!
“I’ve come for your daughter, Chuck.” - Beetlejuice
"I suppose you could say that everyone has an El Guapo. For some, shyness may be an El Guapo. For others, lack of education may be an El Guapo. But for us, El Guapo is a large ugly man who wants to kill us! " - Three Amigos!
And of course, with apologies to those of the feminine persuasion, the theme song from Orgazmo …
“What makes a man, is it the woman in his hands /
Just 'cause she’s got big titties /
Is it the way he fights every day /
No, it’s probably the titties…”
“Hello, I had a question about your attack dogs. Do they just attack people or can you get them to attack little dogs? Oh? Well what if you starve them for a while?”
From Ruthless People – outside of Holy Grail and Spinal Tap, probably the funniest movie ever. From the same movie:
“Twelve thousand watts of head-bangin’, ass-kickin’ nuclear brain damage! So what if it’s as big as a Suberu and costs as much? You’ll never have to trade these in! And when you die, they can bury you in it!”
Centurion: Ite. Domus? Nominative? But “go home”, it is motion towards, isn’t it, boy?
Brian: Dative, sir!
Brian: No, not dative! Not the dative, sir! No! The… accusative, accusative! Domum, sir, ad domum!
The idea of pulling a sword on someone because they mixed up Latin cases is hilarious to me.
Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain Oveur: I can’t tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I’m a doctor.
Captain Oveur: No. I mean I’m just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can’t you take a guess?
Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can’t take a guess for another two hours?
Or, how about this?
Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Male announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading. Now, there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading.
Female announcer: Don’t you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for unloading.
Male announcer: Look Betty, don’t start up with your white zone shit again.
male announcer: There’s just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Male announcer: It’s really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there’s no danger involved.
Or perhaps this:
Randy: Can I get you something?
Second Jive Dude: ‘S’mofo butter layin’ me to da’ BONE! Jackin’ me up… tight me!
Randy: I’m sorry, I don’t understand.
First Jive Dude: Cutty say ‘e can’t HANG!
Jive Lady: Oh stewardess! I speak jive.
Randy: Oh, good.
Jive Lady: He said that he’s in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.
Randy: All right. Would you tell him to just relax and I’ll be back as soon as I can with some medicine?
Jive Lady: Jus’ hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da’ rebound on da’ med side.
Second Jive Dude: What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap!
Jive Lady: Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don’ want no help, chump don’t GET da’ help!
First Jive Dude: Say 'e can’t hang, say seven up!
Jive Lady: Jive ass dude don’t got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!