I don’t even have to order when I walk into my local diner every Sunday morning. I take my seat at my usual half-booth and pretty soon a waitress delivers my Western Scramble (3 eggs, bacon, ham, onions, bell peppers, tomatoes), hash browns, a cup of salsa, one slice of toast and a large iced tea.
I’m a pretty decent cook (not chef, I don’t do a lot of fancy or plated dishes) so if I’m out for breakfast/brunch, it’s often with family or travel. I almost always want something that I would have a hard time making or would be too much work.
So that leaves out most egg dishes, pancakes (easy), waffles (have waffle iron), etc. So about 80% of the time, it’s french toast. Now don’t get me wrong, I make -great- french toast, but making a good custard style french toast and having the appropriate bread ready to go takes time, so it’s not so much an impulse cook.
Chicken and waffles for similar reasons when available - because making good fried chicken is fine, but the planning, cooking, and oil disposal is a pain.
I tried the biscuits and gravy at a diner in San Francisco. The gravy wasn’t bad but the biscuits were like a somewhat dry plain scone.
Damn. This almost verbatim was going to be my answer. Since I was maybe eight or nine years old, eggs benedict or corned beef hash and eggs have been my standard breakfast diner order. And those are two things I pretty much never make at home, so perfect. I don’t like diner-style omelets; I don’t like lots of sweet carbs for breakfast (though I will take dark rye toast with the corned beef hash).
If I’m at a Mexican place, I like huevos divorciados (two fried eggs, one with a red salsa, the other with a green one), beans, tortillas.
We’ve got to do breakfast sometime! Judi’s place? ;-D
My job included running injured employees to the ER. Since most occurred during third shift, and most were <5 suture lacerations, Waffle House was our go-to. Their waffles are frankly rubbery, but I’ve never had a bad over-easy egg from them.
At home, I’ve noticed that over the last few years, canned corn beef hash turns into greasy soup. Gone are the days when I could open both ends of the can and fry discs that would hold their shape.
Omelettes filled with cream cheese and jam. These were a childhood treat, but when I describe them to people today they recoil in disdain.
I know where that exit is! 
I’m a vegetarian, and I agree except I want to know why they feel it must start with meat! We should go out for brunch together. I’ll have the eggs, you have the sausage, and we’ll split the pancakes.
If I’m out for breakfast, like @ParallelLines , I want to order something I wouldn’t make for myself at home. I’m apparently a less ambitious cook, though, because that means waffles or blueberry pancakes. No one else in the house is enthusiastic about them, so I rarely make pancakes, and my waffle iron is lousy.
There used to be a vegetarian place in town that made really good biscuits with a vegetarian country gravy. I can’t remember what they used in place of sausage, but it was really good. I’ve had a wonderful vegetarian version of Eggs Benedict as well. Unfortunately, vegetarian brunch places don’t seem to stay open very long, and other restaurants aren’t going to go to that kind of trouble.
I like to think wives are always right, but yours is wrong.
The gravy’s basically just bechamel with sausage bits in it and the drippings used as the fat for the roux, seasoned with black pepper. Really not all that difficult to make.
I didn’t say it was difficult to make, I’ve made it, but you won’t get it in any food place here. It’s just not a thing.
Biscuits don’t really hold up well. After a day they get pretty much like hockey pucks. There’s a restaurant in Portland (or used to be) that had a guy right up front who was making biscuits. Doesn’t get much fresher than that.
I keep the Mary Kitchen brand, both corned beef & roast beef hash) in the cabinet, never seem to have that issue. I also don’t buy any other brands.
I just noticed (huh!) the OP specifies breakfast as well as brunch. In which case…
- or, indeed, which would stink the house out. Kippers! If I’m having breakfast out (in this country at least) and kippers are on the menu, then kippers it is - every day!
(In Spain, pan con tomate y aceite - every day. In my experience the olive oil is always served separately.)
j
Shakshuka is one of my go-to brunch dishes, too, when eating out. My wife also makes it from time to time for dinner - we’ve found that the best bread for dipping is a freshly-baked focaccia.
Noted.
j
So the full English is my go to (if they have black pudding)
In California (where I lived for 15 years) the Breakfast burrito is my go to, though I’ve not found a decent one here on the East Coast (the DC metro).
(pardon my snip)
I sympathize, growing up, my father, a Northeastern Jew used to good deli, would periodically break down and microwave smoked whitefish for breakfast. I mean, I like it too, but the smell lingers and aerosolized oil goes everywhere when using a microwave. Still, he did it pretty rarely, as getting smoked whitefish in 80s southern New Mexico was pretty difficult.
I think part of the problem is that if you’re cooking for more than 1-2, pancakes take a lot of time to cook individually, and if you make a bunch prior to serving, they aren’t at their absolute best. Now if you have a large scale griddle (I have an electric one) you can easily make 6-8 at once depending on the size. Even so, I almost never use it, because it’s a pain to clean.
Instead, I have a square lodge cast iron griddle, 11" square, which I use for making pancakes and burgers on stovetop. Round pans don’t work well for doing multiple, but with the square form factor, I can do 4 small medium-small pancakes at a go. Or 4 small burgers. A better tool for the job makes the work easier!
We go to a little place in a shopping center who fled there when their old building burned down. Locally owned, and worth supporting. I usually get a scramble or one of their interesting Eggs Benedict.
But my Platonic brunch was in the Scanticon Hotel off Route 1 just north of Princeton, which had an amazing brunch buffet. We later moved to a similar one in the Hyatt just south of it. Great variety, and a great place to take our kids when they were small since they could get something to eat right away. We often went with my wife’s parents and aunt, who could take the kids to the lobby if necessary. Great training in how to behave at a restaurant.
My mom used to spread jam on her pancakes and roll them up to eat. I’ll do that sometimes. It’s apparently the Hungarian style she learned as a kid (although palacsintas are more like crepes than US pancakes). I’ll eat mine that way sometimes.
You’re invited too!