Khachaturian’s Sabre Dance. I always make hectic motions looking for my phone anyway, so it matches.
My ringtone is a version of “Drunken Sailor”, a sea shanty.
I have person-specific ringtones for everyone I communicate with regularly. My wife is “Foxey Lady” for example.
Otherwise my phone ringtone is the chorus from Redman’s “Pick It Up,” and my message tone is the Star Trek TOS communicator chirp.
Darth Vader’s Imperial March for my boss- she is a SW fan, and knows the meaning. She is truly irritated by it being her ringtone.
My ex-wife gets a klaxon sound followed by an ominous voice saying “your ex-wife is calling”. We are actually on good terms, so it’s more tongue-in-cheek than real animosity.
My Sister, who loves the Eagles, gets a ringtone of The Big Lebowski saying “I hate the fucking Eagles, man.”
My significant other, who is named Elizabeth, gets a snippet of the song “Elizabeth” by the Counting Crows.
Before he passed, my Dad’s calls to me were always preceded by Mark Cohn’s song “Sliver Thunderbird”. Dad owned Ford Thunderbirds for the last 20 or so years of his life.
Friend of mine who thinks he is a playa gets “Just a Gigolo” by David Lee Roth.
Female friend named Stacey, who is a mom, gets “Stacey’s Mom Has Got It Going On” Not perfectly correct, but close enough.
That’s it. Everyone else gets the default, which is the Kinks song “Waterloo Sunset”
My first one was the opening of Sentinel from Tubular Bells II. But it was too low. Now I use Beethoven’s Fifth.
I don’t have custom ones.
Did you know that Mike Oldfield didn’t see the Exorcist until years after it came out? It is reported that when he did he laughed like hell. I do have a radio interview with him on a bootleg where he says that kids in America were scared of him.
Default Ringtone: Opening bars of Stevie Wonder’s “Sir Duke” (not only a kickass song, but perfect for me because I’m a jazz singer).
When My Dad Calls: An electronic “alert” sound followed by a pleasant female voice saying “your father is attempting to reach you on your cellular device.”
When My Brother Calls: Same as my dad’s ringtone, only “your brother is attempting to reach you on your cellular device.”
I might steal that! Many moons ago I had a BlackBerry that used a great “sonar ping” sound for text messages: I’ve spent way too many hours looking for it over the years, but all of the sonar notification sounds I can find aren’t *quite *right. I like the typewriter idea.
Oooh, great song. 
“Mahna Mahna” is my alarm notification. 
OMG that made me think of the “bahk bahk bahk baaahk” from Chickenman (an old radio series), which would be AWESOME. 
I had the Mad Men theme song for quite awhile then had the Downton Abbey theme song. Right now I have Kashmir (Led Zeppelin).
I honestly can’t remember what my ringtone is. Whatever the default is, I guess- one of the first things I did when I got my phone was to set the phone to vibrate, and I’ve never changed it back. Between my Pebble watch, having my phone almost always in my pocket, and having a bluetooth handset at home, I never need to hear my phone ring.
I used to have the drum riff from “In the Air Tonight” as my ring tone on my old phone. Problem was, sometimes in my car I’d have the radio on and the ring would get lost in the other music. Now my ring tone is some horrific sing-song cartoony meowing noise that was one of the stock options and never fails to get my attention.
I’ve long had the Trol-lol-lol song as a ring tone. I needed something I’d notice in a noisy environment.
My ringtone has been for, I don’t know, ten or twelve years "The House That Jack Built"by Aretha Franklin. I chose it because I adore Aretha and the song starts without any intro with vocals, so it’s instantly recognizable.
Mine has been the opening to The Who’s *Baba O’ Reilly *for some time now.
Text notification is the Jetson’s doorbell
Alarm is the klaxon from the Nostromo in** Alien**
The main theme (not the closing credits theme) for “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai”. I’d link to it, but I can only find the end credits song.
I love it because it starts with a bass “dun dun dun…” which is enough to let me know what’s going on.
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Man - maybe I should consider the theme song (if there is one) from The Walking Dead!
Mine is some obnoxious Android pre-set called Thriller Three. Not sure why I chose it however many years ago, but I’ve never heard anyone else use it. So even tho I rarely get calls (and often forget to carry my phone or let it run out of charge) - when I DO get a call, I know it is MY phone ringing! 
Just switched it to the Rick and Morty theme.
My daughter is still my previous one: the Peter Davison era Dr. Who theme.
For phone, the Our Man Flint red phone ring. I wanted a phone to ring like ever since I saw the movie and thanks to modern technology, it’s now easy. I was in Home Depot the other day when my phone went off. A nearby man about my age started, then said, “Derek!”
“Excuse me; this is important.” I replied as I took the call.
For text messages, nothing but Monty Python will do.
Everything else is the least annoying one that came with the phone. I have often pictured the design lead at various smart and cell phone manufacturers holding a meeting. “Ladies, gentlemen, we have our work cut out for us. We need to come up with thirty ringtones for our new product, every one of which is annoying.”
Main Ringtone: Haunting Torgo Theme
Message Tone: Kimmunicator
The first few bars of “In the Wake of Poseidon” by King Crimson. You ask why?
- It ramps up nicely from a keyboard (“3 violins”) to multi-instrument, so it’s not abrupt.
- Hardly anyone recognizes it or uses the same ringtone.
- Because…mellotron.
My phone is completely silent. No ringtone, no vibration, nothing.
Given how rare it is to hear a cell phone ring any more… at least compared to the 2000’s… it seems I’m not the only person who does this.
My regular is the outro to Brazuzan by Tuatha de Danann.
My Russian-speaking wife gets Russian Girls by Комбинация.
My extremely religious mother gets Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey.
Dad gets Mahna Mahna by the Muppets.
Brother gets Breaking The Law by Judas Priest.