Ninety minutes? I suppose I could skip a few of the preliminaries in order to finish before then…
There was a Twilight Zone episode like this, but it was no joke…
I suddenly aquire a major telekinetic talent. With this I am able to take people who run red lights or who block intersections and transport them out of traffic to a nearby parking space and disconnect some crucial engine component for a length of time determined by the severity of their offense. Trying to beat the yellow and don’t quite clear the intersection before it turns red? You probably get 3 minutes. The light is red before you even get to the intersection? You get 15 minutes. I would also teleport a note into the car telling them the reason for and length of the penalty.
Mine is finding out some dirt on a co-worker I can’t stand and watching him flame out and get fired by the very people whose ass he kisses on a daily basis.
Oh, and the other one…well, let’s say it involves Vivian Campbell from Def Leppard (yes, that’s his name), black silk scarves and vampirism. That’s all I’m sayin’.
Mine’s something like that, as far as the penalizing vehicular idiocy goes, but the mental talent would be the ability to give people spontaneous uncontrollable violent diahreea.
Run the stop light? Surprise!
Cut me off? Surprise!
Being obnoxious at a restaraunt or bar? Surprise!
Head coach or quarterback of the opposing team? Surprise!
Hitting that guy Al J. who harassed me in high school, with a baseball bat, on and around the head, as he writhes on the floor and I calmly tell him why.
I don’t know how sick it is, but I daydream about being able to be housemates with my Mom; she could cook for me and we’d hang out quilting. I think it’s sick because it necessitates my father being dead.
When I read “Vivian”, I immediately thought of the character from The Young Ones.
I almost peed a little at the visual.
-Cem
Me too! Like pendgwen, I wish I could lift their car up with TK and put it down in an inconvienent place. But I like your idea better. I’d use it on people I hate while they’re speaking in public trying to do something bad to my county. Or better yet, about 30 seconds before they’re about to speak.
I’ve just left my broker after converting a few million dollars worth of T Bills I inherited into a higher yield market fund. I have to take the train since my Escalade is being detailed, so I meet my wife, who has just finished buying a weeks worth of steak and lobster for our kids, at the station to head back to our luxury penthouse.
Along the way, some pathetic lowlife tries hitting on my wife. She ignores his crude advances, this seems to enrage him. He follows us off the train, stalking us. We duck into a side alley, hoping he pursues us. He falls for it. I beat him nearly senseless, but before he passes out I cram a wad of $100 bills down his throat for him to choke on. My super-hot wife and I make savage love to one another as the life drains from his worthless corpse. Then we stop for some foie gras and cognac on the way home, laughing about the funny faces the loser made as he was gagging on my pocket money.
In other words, just another day. 
I recall reading about a college prank like that. He left for a while, and they covered & painted over his door, and even added a light fixture. Then when he showed up everyone there pretended they had no idea who he was.
As for me :
Personal : Telekinesis as well. Such as certain people having “accidents”. Or people who play music too loud, THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP for hours have their speakers explode all over the room/car. Then I wander by, “Oooh, I’ve heard about that happening if you play it too loud. Bummer, but there you are. Hope the feedback didn’t wreck that fancy setup you have; it looks expensive.”
- loud snapping sounds from inside entertainment center *
Public : I’ve mentioned this before, but I have a fantasy of Bush going raving mad in front of a live newscast. Like whipping out a pistol, screaming “How DARE you question ME ?! I’m GOD’S President ! GOD’S ! !” And firing at the reporters ( preferably hitting a Bush toady if anyone ), before the Secret Service wrestles him to the ground.
I’m gonna add the speaker thing to my telekinesis fantasy. Also pedestrians who cross against the light, holding up traffic in the process, will be deposited on a high tree limb for the length of their penalty.
Mine are mostly of an imperial “flood the stadium” or (as, strangely, I mentioned just a day or two ago in a thread) “take one of his eyes” power to one who deserves it. A while back there was a thread on “would you participate in a duel?” and that’s always been a fantasy- I love the idea of defending honor with deadly weapons- it’s somehow more civilized than litigation or name-calling. I have some replica dueling pistols but hope to one day have a good price and bank account coincide with working authentic ones as it’s always been a fantasy.
For more carnal fare there’s always the “So this is the Roman slave market- the catalogs don’t do it justice- my oh my did you say he was an Angle or an angel? Either way count out the dinarii” thing.
Sick fantasy? To own a small shop in Britain, the rest really rolls from there.
I’ve had a variation of that where I have some kind of transmitter that overrides the system next door and causes it to play nothing but polka music.
I would wander by and say, “Geez, you like rap AND polka? That’s pretty unusual. What? you don’t like polka? Then why… Well just turn it off then. Hey, I don’t know why either, but it looks like you have a choice: Polka or silence”
Two girls, preferably twins…I’m between the pair of 'em. 
Jeez, wendigo, yours is sick :dubious:
I have two of them:
I’d like to pull up in a white van infront of a large landscaping company at about 4:00 when they’re packing it away for the day. I’d jump out of the van and scream, “Customs and Immigration! Everyone freeze!” and just watch the workers scurry like rats. 
That, and I’ve always wanted to actually witness gladiatorial combat.
I’ve actually seen a minor variation on your first one. A crew was laying the block for our workshop building and was almost finished. They had been really friendly and chatty all day long. When my husband came home from work (in his police uniform), he walked out to the job site. Instantly, over half of the crew put their heads down and didn’t look up again until he went inside. He noticed, of course, and remarked later that quite a few of them must have either known or suspected they had warrants out on them.
Phlosphr, police officers pull people over and give field sobriety tests because they think the driver might be driving impaired. If the driver is sober and was just not watching the road or whatever they were doing to drive poorly and get pulled over, the police are not embarassed or chagrined about having pulled them over. In my experience, there is not usually a :smack: moment when they come to the conclusion that the driver is safe to proceed. YMMV.
Haven’t you guys heard of triplets?
Well there goes my sick fantasy…I guess it’s no so sick afterall.
I remember fantasizing about making a specific cop’s car vanish as he’s writing me a ticket. Then I drive off with my ticket just as he’s turning to get back in his car and sees nothing there.
Yeah, I was speeding and deserved the ticket, but the guy was a jerk about it.