My Indianified meatloaf. I call it DesiLoaf.
I posted the recipe on my old blog and about four lurkers emailed me to tell me how much they liked it. And no, it doesn’t involve curry.
I think on Hell’s Kitchen they are given 20 minutes to prepare their “signature dish”. Pbbbbt! Mine takes 2-3 hours, so I guess I wouldn’t be able to make it for Chef Ramsay. I don’t mind sharing this with you guys though. I found it on Epicurious.com, originally from Bon Appetit Dec 1997
Beer Basted Chicken with Asian Flavors
ingredients
1 3 1/2- to 4-pound chicken
1 12-ounce can beer (I use Southpaw and the flavor is phenomenal)
6 green onions, chopped
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
2 tablespoons (packed) golden brown sugar
2 tablespoons chopped peeled fresh ginger
1 tablespoon chopped garlic
1 tablespoon oriental sesame oil
preparation
Combine all ingredients in heavy large resealable plastic bag. Refrigerate 1 hour and up to 1 day, turning bag occasionally.
Preheat oven to 350°F. Place chicken and marinade in 13 x 9 x 2-inch baking pan. Roast chicken until juices run clear when thigh is pierced, basting occasionally, about 1 hour 20 minutes.
Transfer chicken to platter. Pour pan juices into medium saucepan; spoon off fat and discard. Boil until sauce is reduced to 1 cup, about 6 minutes. Serve chicken with sauce. If you continue to reduce, you get a very yummy glaze, and most of my guests love it with the glaze.
This recipe is so easy and simple and everyone raves about it.
Given the time limit on Hell’s Kitchen I’d do one of two. Poitou beef tenderloin stew, my best dish, which is ridiculously delicious, but it doesn’t sound fancy. So maybe pan-seared pork tenderloin with spicy balsamic-kalamata sauce over paprika mashed cauliflower.
Bear or elk stew. Lots of chunky veggies & dumplings if I feel like it.
This is my favourite so far. Wow! I’ll have to try this!
Ditto.
“Pan-Asian Risotto with Miso-glazed Shrimp.”
Contains no bacon.
Yet.
aaand here’s the details:
1 boneless leg of lamb, 2-4 lbs
3/4 cup lemon juice
1/4 cup olive oil
2 Tbsp minced garlic
2-3 Tbsp rosemary, roughly chopped
combine in ziploc bag and marinate overnight
Grill on medium high heat approximately 3-5 minutes per side to develop a sear, then move to cook it indirectly in your grill for approx 20 minutes; I use a thermometer to get the internal temp to 160.
Remove and slice thinly on top of pita bread, top with cucumber yogurt sauce.
Cucumber Yogurt Sauce:
1 medium cucumber, peeled, seeded and finely chopped
3/4 cup plain yogurt (Greek or a middle eastern brands are much better for this)
1/4 cup sour cream
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon minced garlic
In a medium bowl combine all the ingredients and chill for at least 1 hour to allow the flavors to marry.
OK, you asked for it you got it.
Turkey of the Gods
I brine my birds using Alton Brown’s recipe
Now at this point I go a little different from AB. First off if my bird is slightly frozen (it always seems to be) I will place the bird in the brine when the brine is at room temp. The brine gets cold, and the bird gets defrosted. Secondly AB suggests a 5 gallon bucket. Sorry AB but a 5 gallon bucket doesn’t fit in my fridge, and it is often 85F before T day in LA. I use either a Ziploc turkey brining bag or a 18 qt. food prep container I bought one year.
I also brine my turkey for a lot longer than AB. I go 12-24 hours ending on the day before I cook.
So to sum up, I place my bird in its brine sometime on Tuesday. I remove it on Wednesday. I then rinse it in clear water and place it on a platter uncovered in the fridge. This allows the skin to dry out just a bit, and gives a crispy skin when cooked. I remove the bird several hours before cooking and allow it to warm up somewhat.
Now here is a trick that will work with any cooking method, and will assure you moister breast meat. I got this off a BBQ website, so I can’t take credit, but it works like a champ. The breast is done at about 163F, and the thighs are done at 180F If you cook the breast to done, the thighs are underdone, if you cook the thighs done, the breast is dry, dry dry. Here is how to prevent that. Take the bird out of the fridge about 1-2 hours before you are going to cook it. About 30 minutes before you are going to start cooking take a 1 gallon Ziploc bag full of ice and a little water and lay it on the breast of the bird. You want the breast to cool off and start at a lower temp then the thighs. This way both white and dark meat both get done at the same time. Slick huh? 
Remove the bag of ice before you put the bird into cook.
You can roast the turkey anyway you wish. I do mine outside on a charcoal grill with wood smoke (apple). If anyone wants details, ask. It is actually easier than cooking the bird in the oven. I also use AB recipe for aromatics
I usually add a non-salty rub to the outside of the bird after the oiling.
Cook until the thickest part of the breast is 160F remove the bird, platter and cover with foil, the temp in the bird will continue to rise for several minutes giving you a perfectly cooked bird.
Wait at least 20 minutes after removing from heat to carve.
Rick’s Bassackward smoked steak
Conventional wisdom is that steaks should be seared at a high temp to seal the juices in and then cooked at a lower temp to finish them. I got to wondering what would happen if I turned that around.
I’ll tell you what happened, a culinary masterpiece that’s what.
You will need the following
2 big handfuls of Hickory wood chips soaked in water for at least 1 hour
A very thick cut steak. I have used Spencer’s, Rib eyes, and New York’s for this. the most important part is you want a thick steak 1.5" minimum. 2" would be better, 3" would be superb.
Seasoning For this recipe I am partial to Durkee’s Steak Dust. YMMV
A probe type thermometer or an instant read digital
Lots of time (these are going to take an hour to 1.5 hours depending on the thickness of your steaks.
Anyway set your grill up for indirect heat, you want the temp to be in the 200-250 range NO MORE!
When you have the grill temp stabilized, pull the steak out of the fridge and coat with steak dust on all sides. Don’t forget the edges, that’s a lot of real estate (steak estate?) on a 2"+ steak.
Throw a handful of wet wood chips on the fire, and put the steak on
After about 20-30 minutes, turn the steak and add the rest of the wood chips.
If you like your steak rare, cook until the internal temp is 115F. Medium rare 123 Medium 127. Remove the probe type thermometer before going to the next stepo or you will melt the connecting wires.
Remove the steak from the grill. Place on a plate and cover in foil.
Now at this point the steak may or may not look very good, it may be kinda grey, or maybe a reddish brown in color, don’t worry we are going to fix that next.
Bring the grill up to full atomic power.* You want direct heat and a bunch of it. As hot as you can get that sucker. If you are using charcoal add a bunch. You guys with gas, turn the knobs You want 500+, 600+ is even better.
When you have got the grill wide open and as hot as it will go return the steak to the grill laying it diagonally across the grates. After 1 minute rotate the steak 90 degrees.
After 1 more minute flip the steak over. After one more minute rotate the steak 90 degrees again.
Allow the steak to rest for a couple of minutes before carving.
*You might want to grill your corn as the grill heats up
I almost forgot desert.
Barbecued peaches
Again this is something I was just screwing around with one day, and this is the result.
1 large peach for every two people. You want the big sweet freestone peaches. Yellow ones work better than white.
White sugar
Brown sugar
Cinnamon
Nutmeg
Peach schnapps or peach brandy
Vanilla ice cream
Cinnamon sticks for garnish
Before dinner, slice the peaches in half by starting at the stem end, and running the knife down along the seam and around. Remove the pit. If necessary use a spoon to remove the small woody bits left in the pit area.
Set the peaches cut side up on a plate and
sprinkle each peach half with
Cinnamon (lots)
Nutmeg (to taste, I don’t use a lot)
White sugar (Coated, but not piled up)
Cover and set aside
When the steaks are about ready to throw back on the fire, heap a mound of brown sugar in the center of each peach. Add a splash of the schnapps or brandy.
After the steaks come off and when the grill has cooled down to about 350 place the peaches on the grill. Turn off the gas, or shut the vents if charcoal. Allow the peaches to cook in the residual heat for 20 minutes or so.
Place a scoop of vanilla ice cream in a bowl. Carefully lift a peach half into the bowl (don’t spill the peachy juicy goodness!) and stick a Cinnamon stick in it for a garnish.
We need to talk. I can’t get my crust to turn out the way I want it. It’s chewy enough, but has fine uniform bubbles instead of larger random ones. Any tips?
Hell, I wouldn’t go on a TV show with this but I make a mean piece of fried chicken, the sort they don’t seem to make anymore. I’m also pretty good at various country fried steak recipes, being able to do both white and brown gravy. 
I also am good at breakfast - if your idea of breakfast includes bacon, sausage, eggs, biscuits, gravy etc… If you’re looking for bagels and honeydew, try somebody else.
I don’t watch “Hell’s Kitchen” (too scared), but I do have a couple of dishes that always garner requests for the recipe. Here’s one:
Stuffed Cherry Tomatoes
1 lb. bacon, cooked crisp and crumbled
1/4 cup chopped scallions
2 T chopped parsley
2 T freshly grated parmesan cheese
1/2 cup mayo
24 cherry tomatoes
Remove small slice from the stem end of each tomato, hollow out with small spoon and invert on paper towels to drain. Combine remaining ingredients. Fill tomatoes with filling mixture and refrigerate.
People will beg for more. And don’t feel guilty about any ensuing heart attacks–they probably ate way too much bacon before you turned up with your tomatoes.
It could be your flour. Different wheats have different effects. Don’t use a all-purpose flour or, worse yet, a cake flour. You want a high gluten wheat like hard red for pizza dough.
Do you have a specific recipe for this you can share with me? Sounds great.
I make this for only one or two people because that’s all the room my skillet has. It’s simple, tasty, and relatively quick; I prep the rest of the ingredients while the water is coming to a boil and the spaghetti cooking, then it’s a couple minutes of furious activity and it’s done.
Spaghetti Carbonara
Put a 12 inch skillet on to heat and prepare a pot of spaghetti the usual way.
Dice ¼ pound of bacon¹ per person into one inch pieces and start them in the skillet
Beat two eggs per person in a bowl and lop up a several green onions and set aside
Measure out about ¾ cup shredded parmesan-type² cheese per person in another bowl
Keep your eye on the bacon and turn off the fire when it’s done but not quite to the crispy stage. The original recipe called for some butter to be added at this point. Fearing for my heart I pour about half the bacon grease off instead, but you have to keep some.
About now the spaghetti should be done. Drain it, dump it into the skillet and toss to distribute the bacon bits and grease.
Grind some black pepper to taste then dump in the beaten egg and keep tossing. The idea is to let the heat of the spaghetti cook the egg. This is why you have to work fast.
Finally, dump in the onions then the cheese and toss some more. This is where experience on how much of the grease comes in. Too little and the spaghetti gets really stiff. Too much and it’s, well, greasy.
Put on the plate(s) and eat.
¹ Pancetta is more authentic but I like the smokey flavor of the bacon.
² Parmesan, Romano, I even used Ementaler once; it’s all good. Just not that powdered sawdust Kraft produces.
Persian Chicken.
1 lb of chicken breast diced
1/2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp turmeric
salt
3 tbs butter
1 onion, thinly sliced
1 1/2 cups rice
1/2 tsp saffron threads
1/2 cup raisins
3 peaches, peeled and sliced (I’ve used canned, they work OK)
Cook rice in rice steamer with the saffron threads. Combine the spices and salt and rub over the chicken (you can do this the night before if you have time, otherwise just before cooking is fine too). Gently fry the onion in 1 tbs of the butter until golden brown then set aside. Fry the chicken in 1 tbs butter until golden. Melt 1 tbs butter in a heavy casserole and fork the cooked rice through it. Add the chicken, onion, peaches and raisins. Put the lid on and cook on a very low heat for about 30 minutes until the chicken and rice are very tender - I use a le creuset pan with a heat diffuser between it and the gas element.
Enjoy.
Thanks, I’ll give it a try this week. The peaches part is really intriguing.
Caramel meringue torte. Been offered sex for it.
As far as a literal signature goes, my Culpeper’s Southern Lemonade used to be offered by a caterer.
One presumes with such a user name you are female…
Don’t force us to fly to where you are and kick your ass to get the recipe. Some of us need all the help we can get when it comes to being offered sex. 
Several, as others have posted…
My favorite is Crepes (Flat french style “pancakes”-but so much more…!)
I can fill them with anything… from strawberries and whipped cream, to lamb stew reduced to extreme thickness… and all my fillings are very well made…
Think of the joy of a well made waffle (which I have several variations on, btw) combined with a soft cascade of slowly blending flavours/textures/aromas.
Presentation is alway “perfect”, but casual… (no need for formal clothing at my place)
just say Ohhh! Ahhh! MMMMMM!
Regards
FML