After reading the long list on a package of Ben-Gay of the things you shouldn’t do with it, I’ve always wanted to heist a cartload of boxes, print out tiny labels that said “not recommmended for use as a vaginal lubricant”, stick it at the end of the list, and replace the packages on the store shelves. Not strictly tampering with the product in the truest sense, but it’s fun to imagine the looks on the faces of that select few people who actually read the labels on the products they buy when they saw the aformetioned warning.
Anyone else out there ever wanted to alter a product or package in an amusing but harmless way, then replace it on the store shelves for purchase by average consumers?
Not exactly harmless, but my Mom thought it would be funny to rent children’s videos, tape over parts of them with hardcore porn, and then return them. She’d never do it (and probably be pissed if it happened to her grandkids) but she’s got a devious mind like that. 8^)
More non-harmless product tampering fun - take a hatpin to the drug store and punch holes through the condom packages.
Take all the Hi-Liters, peel off the sticker, cut & paste the individual letters so that it spells “Hitler”, then replace them on store shelves.
Or, if you don’t want to wait around forever for someone to notice (and trust me, they won’t, not for a lo-o-o-o-ong time), just do that to your own Hi-Liter, show it to people, and say, “Notice anything strange?”
I had a copy of Penn & Teller’s book How to Play With Your Food that came with a sheet of stickers for this very purpose.
One was an list of ingredients that included things like antifreeze, ground glass, and leprosy.
There were stickers that said, “No animals were harmed in making this product” for you to put on shrink-wrapped steaks.
There were also labels for things like bacon that featured the kosher symbol.
Here’s another thread that’s bound to get closed for encouraging criminal behavior, but here goes.
It’s not product tampering per se, but I like the idea of randomly inserting pages that have words printed on them into the laser printer at work. Use Times New Roman and 9 times out of 10 it will blend right in. Big boss man prints a memo and gets the sheet with “I like buttplugs” printed about a third of the way down. Goes nuts trying to figure out how that got there.
Hours of fun! Amuse your friends!
Oh, and on that condom-hole-punching thing: I can think of no better reason than to use Fourex in the plastic capsule.
Has anyone else every noticed that the popularity ring pops, the classic children’s candy, is just a societal tool to teach kids (usually girls, but perhaps boys too) how to properly fellate. I say it is time we acknowledge what these damned candies are for and relabel them properly…we should put new wrappers on them that say “BLOW POPS”. Wait, those already exist! Just another example of the man pushin’ us down…heh heh heh.
I’ve always wanted to take a plastic bottle of Coke, drill a small hole in the bottom, and remove all the liquid. Then I would fill it back up with some similar colored liquid, but with a very bitter flavor. Then stand back and watch as someone opens it up and takes a big swig.
Also, I like to do this one every once in a while at home. You take an egg and put a tiny hole in the top and bottom of the egg using a pin. Then you blow on one end really hard, and egg will come out the other end. when you are done, put it back in the fridge. Family members will be amazed that they got an empty egg.
You could also put the warning “Not for use on hair” on a bottle of shampoo.
Take the “D” off the beginning of “Dunkin’ Donuts” and place it at the end of the word. Now you have “Unkind Donuts”. Do it to shop signs and boxes and cups.
I once went up to one of the Wedny’s signs (one of the ones that was located in the ground, not the ones on the pole) and removed a letter from their sign. It changed from “Now Hiring Closers” to “Now Hiring Losers.”
There was this Dairy Queen by my house growing up that used to put up cutesy messages on a big dry erase board all the time…which was very easy to change. My personal favorites:
The first was a Halloween message that said
“Bring the little ghosts and goblins in for a treat”
Which was quickly changed to:
“Bring the little Sob’s in for treat”
and my other favorite was changing the:
“Take home a bag of dilly bars today”
This of course became:
“Take home a big dildo today”
Back in the day when I worked at a grocery store I was friends w/ one of the pharmacists. He gave me two rolls of stickers…one read “For Vaginal Use Only” and the other “For Rectal Use Only.”
Me and my friend Debbie spent an hour using up all those stickers in the store…
Not really product-tampering, but I remember one time when a “Church of Christ” lost the end T (no, I didn’t take it). It was really funny because my best friend is named Chris.
I did this once…I was shopping with my mom and as we walked past the meat department we saw part of a roll of stickers on the floor that said “Semi-boneless” that had stuck to one of the butcher’s shoes or something. I picked it up and later when we were in another store my mom was looking at bread and I said “hey mom!” and pretended to put one on a loaf. She guffawed and said “Do it!” ROFL! Way to go mom! I think there were four stickers and I remember putting them on the bread and the sign for a jello display. (Which is actually less funny than it was at the time, knowing what I now know about how Jello is made.) It was deliciously naughty, and I remember bonding with my mother in good clean vandalism. What could be sweeter!?!
Inasmuch as our political system has been commodified and reduced to raw salesmanship, I think this qualifies.
I’d very much like to get one of those gold watches that stops time (you know those, right?) and deposit just a little bit of white powder in Dubya’s mustache zone.
