…a tiger stops in its tracks to admire the beautiful colours of the butterfly…
…which are instantly de-colorized because of atmospheric disturbances brought on by heretofore, impossible-to-measure solar flares, the tiger, startled…
…pounces on our hero and eats him and the goose he is clutching…
The aliens are thrilled! They eagerly make plans to import the tiger and its kin to rid their planet of the pesky thimPul!*ah that plagued their lands. They had been hoping that humans could do this task but studies showed they were just too dumb to get the job done…
The tiger pads hesitantly up the ramp to the alien ship, wondering what lies in store for him on a new planet. He is given free reign over the ship (the aliens are unaware that they smell like kitty kibble) and eats the captain one day as they fly through the Andromeda system. According to the aliens custom, the tiger is now in control of the ship and he orders an about face to the Sol system. Out of the corner of his eye he spys a butterfly flapping it’s wings…
…that congregates with thousands of its kind. The swath of color AND smell that they emit, entice other denizens of that part of the forest.Puddling on a large patch of damp, stagnant earth, a large colony of ants, leaving the safety of their subterranean tunnels, begins to swarm over the hapless butterflies. Colorful wings are disjointed and dragged back to the colony, along with other useful body parts. Natives, feeling this is an omen of danger, run to report to tribal leaders, who…
…is a bit puzzled as he can’t fathom out why the butterflies didn’t just fly away or why the aliens didn’t zap the ants with a…
…futuristic style breath spray. Tribal leaders, intent on destroying the large colony of ants that have built their subterranean complex in the shape of an office building call in the outcast black sheep of the world renown Loizeaux Implosion Team, Biff, to assess the unusual task.
dammit lieu, you never fell into the trap I was expecting…well you know.
RIGHT.
Carry on with the saga
As Biff studies the complex, the better to place the explosives (implosives?) precisely, an ant bites him on the ankle. He looks down and sees the ant gesticulating wildly. He also hears a tiny voice say, “Hey, you big stupid Loaiza, I’ve been yelling at you for 20 minutes! If you implode us, you’ll never discover the treasure we harbor!”
Biff says “Bugger me, a talking ant” and then pours a kettle of boiling water on it to teach it that no-one likes a smart-arse…
(Slight hi-jack)
Wtf?! What did Spogga do to get himself banned?
I was wondering that myself - I think it’s something to do with this thread.
Ah. See, that’s why I avoid GD.
Sorry. Hi-jack over.
So when a butterfly flaps it’s wings, Spogga gets banned?
…returning from the outer reaches of space disguised as an enormous man eating butterfly, spogga generously acknowledges the cheers of Jennyrosity and jjimm by appointing them…
…benevolent dictators of the universe…
(Welcome back, spogga!)
…their first act being to volunteer to bear spoggas many children, Jennyrosity’s offer is accepted,jjimm’s is put on hold until…
(Thanks Jenny!)
…after the sex change, or Spogga’s drunk enough not to care that jjim’s a bloke, whichever happens soonest…
…but you never know, he could be lucky, if I end up looking like Miriam…