It was Homer, at least in one of the episodes, “Lisa the GreeK”.
Waiter: Hello, I’m Marco, I’ll be your waiter.
Homer: Hello, I’m Homer, I’ll be your customer.
Waiter: Never heard that one before…
As for me, when a salesperson asks, I just say, “I’m fine. Thanks.”
It’s not as bad as when something doesn’t scan and they say, “It must be free!”. Of course, even scarier are the people that actually believe that.
I’ll say, “Fine, thank you.” Then I smile, leer at her chest and say, “Nice tits.”
Unless it’s a guy clerk. Then I say, “You’d better back off if you know what’s good for you.” Then I smile, turn to the woman behind me in line, leer at her chest and say, “Nice tits.”
Okay, I usually just say, “Fine thanks, You?” regardless of my mood.
Usually I say something like doing good or I’m fine.
Now and then I get creative… but usually not, by the time I get to the counter usually I just want OUT of there!
“A little gassy… and you?”
Or more often: “Good enough.”
I reply: “Alive! Beats the Hell out of the alternative!” 