The Spark says March 27, 2046. At the age of 66. But they lie.
I’m going to die sometime in April, in 2031 at the age of 51. I have to be alive for July 4th, 2030 at 3 pm in the capital of Morrocco, in a grocery store in the produce section. (Because I’m meeting all of my friends there.) 
According to The Spark, I’ll be leaving this world on July 17, 2051 at the ripe old age of 70.
October 20, 2041
at the age of 61 years old. Cause of death?
Cancer (34%)
Alien Abduction (12%)
Jeez, Mtgman. What do YOU do to get that answer?
Alcoholism, eh? I see I’m the only candidate for Wild Animal Mauling so far. . .
Tripler
“Croikey!!”
Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:
June 23, 2039
at the age of 65 years old.
Cancer (32%)
Heart Attack (9%)
Alcoholism (8%)
Horrible Accident (7%)
Contagious Disease (5%)
Homicide (5%)
Loneliness (5%)
Drowning (5%)
Well, I guess the bright side is that I only have a 5% chance of dying from loneliness. Boy is that a relief! I love the “disclaimer” at the bottom:
August 6, 2066
at the age of 89 years old.
On that date you will most likely die from:
Cancer (20%)
Auto-Fellatio (14%)
Horrible Accident (13%)
Heart Attack (10%)
Suicide (8%)
Alien Abduction (6%)
Drowning (6%)
That’s a little under the family average but not too bad. Answering that test made me realise that I have a very boring life.
when the princess comes to kiss me…
March 2, 2045
at the age of 62 years old
Hmm… well plenty of time to party.
March 2, 2045
at the age of 62 years old
Hmm… well plenty of time to party.
September 18, 2044
at the age of 67 years old.
On that date I will most likely die from:
Heart Attack (15%)
Cancer (12%)
Electrolysis (11%)
Alcoholism (9%)
Drowning (8%)
Alien Abduction (7%)
:smack:
You can expect to die on:
May 10, 2034 at the age of 65 years old.
Cancer (19%)
Alcoholism (13%)
Heart Attack (12%)
Third Degree Burns (8%)
Alien Abduction (8%)
Horrible Accident (5%)
Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation (5%)
Drowning (5%)
It’s a long shot, but my money is riding on Alien Abduction.
OK,
December 11, 2037
at the age of 61 years old.
I forgot to cut and paste the 1st time, but my money is on the 5% auto-fellatio.
I ran it a 2nd time, with the least healthy traits possible, being 26, 5’2", and weighing 280 lbs.
Here are the results (somewhat predictably)…
October 3, 2002
at the age of 26 years old.
On that date you will most likely die from:
Contagious Disease (34%)
Cancer (15%)
Horrible Accident (7%)
I guess its all the team sex with my 101 partners (78 unprotected)
A friend of mine did this test seriously and it told her she would die at age 55 or so. Her family had every one of the following except poor penmanship
Hmmm, I’ve got till December 23, 2060
Not bad, but I’ve got a 50% chance of dying of cancer :eek:
I didn’t get auto fellatio though :whew:
Geez, maybe I’m weird, but I’d MUCH rather die from auto-fellatio than cancer…at least I’d go out with an (elongated) smile on my face.
That would probably be the most awful April Fools joke ever…
July 17, 2036
at the age of 59 years old.
Cancer (44%)
I’ll must have another cigarette to calm down after such a shock.
I plan to live forever. So far, it’s working.
September 18, 2067. I will be 81 years old.
(looks at clock, taps foot impatiently)
I’m waiting…
Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:
July 13, 2040
at the age of 75 years old.
On that date you will most likely die from:
Cancer (36%)
Homicide (11%)
Contagious Disease (8%)
Alien Abduction (6%)
Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation (6%)
Drowning (6%)
Heart Attack (5%)
Hmm. 75’s not too bad. I’m not even half-done yet!
October 17, 2048
at the age of 70 years old.
On that date you will most likely die from:
Cancer (25%)
Alcoholism (9%)
Horrible Accident (7%)
Alien Abduction (7%)
Suicide (7%)