Up next on Fox: Attack of the Killer Beavers!
[Jeff Foxworthy] You might be a redneck if you’ve ever had your nipple bitten off by a beaver. [/JF]
Sweden – isn’t that near Russia?
Where a crocodile just fell from the sky?
Beavers…Crocodiles — the new Russian secret weapons!
I, for one, welcome our new Beaver over-lords…
Death by Crocodile…death by Beaver. Hmmm. I’ll take Death by Beaver with a side of ‘silly smile on my face’…
My sister once bit a beaver.
Really. And have you?
This is going nowhere good.
Hah! My hatred for beavers, those bastardly rodents, is vindicated!
No, seriously, I hate beavers. I was chased along a riverbank by one once, and if you’ve ever been chased by a 40 pound rodent, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
Jeeze, even when I’m being serious, it sounds surreal. Alrighty-then.
Was the beaver trying to carve its initials on her?
What I hated about the story was that officials decided to kill all the beavers in the area so people could continue to swim in the river.
You know, if it’s a choice between swimming in a municipal pool or swimming in a river that’s been de-beavered, I’ll go for the pool every time. Don’t go killing beavers on my behalf.
From Rodent Mutation by Bron Fane