I’ve run two reasonably successful businesses, raised a herd of step-kids, put my husband and half a herd of kids through college, kept my home semi-neat-and-clean (lets not push it here), kept the herds of people, cows, horses, and foster kittens well fed and healthy, mostly balanced the budget even on the months which greatly exceeded the income – all at the same time – then sold everything, rented a house, packed & moved 100 miles, and a mere six months later, packed, moved and consolidated a 4 bedroom house into a 2 bedroom apartment 1200 miles away, all without blinking an eye.
So why did, this afternoon, I sit in the middle of my new kitchen floor, bawling like a heartbroken baby, wiping my nose with a cheap paper towel because I’m just too damn tired to grab a tissue (all of 3 feet further than the crappy towels) after one silly little 5 hour training session for a real job? Why can I not remember if “control + A” lets me Adjust Accounting or Add a new Account? Why oh why, did I get the “Testing Unit” with the wonky enter and control keys?
While we’re at it, where is my passport, social security card, birth certificate, house keys, car and a flashlight & map with which to find my ass?
On the plus side, I was on time, even though I made two wrong turns after taking the wrong exit after getting on the wrong damn highway in the first place.
The (new) vet called – my fat old cat’s thyroid levels are back to almost normal, he’s regained 2 pounds (after only 2 weeks of meds) and his kidneys are still OK, so I’m feeling a tad less whiny. Now if I can just find the flashlight and remember what the hell control+a is for … .
I loved seeing your kitties and their room! Such a nice space for your beautiful furbabies!
Wait…so you recently moved, with al the stress that involves? And there’s currently no-one you “have to be strong” for in your immediate surroundings ?
A - HA !. :: nods knowingly:: That’s stress catching up with you, girl. It plays weird tricks.
I divorced and moved to a new apartment last year. I kept up strong, but all that insidious stress sapped, in my case, my ability to focus on what people said. I had to ask people so often “Pardon, I didn’t get what you just said” that I actually thought I had gone deaf, so I went to get a hearing test.
The test came out fine, and when I asked the lady what could have caused my apparent loss of hearing she told me what I just told you.
It will get better. Just pamper yourself a bit for me in the meantime, will you? It sounds as if you truly deserve it.
I think paragraph 2 might have been caused by paragraph 1.
Two years ago, we moved to Holland from the US rather abruptly and moved in temporarily with my MIL. Through vicissitudes too numerous to mention, we are still here and he just got re-employed.
So having kept my cool through some of the most chaotic and emotionally dangerous years of my life yet (and that’s going some) I am now finally getting around to collapsing. Everybody else is pretty much stable you see, so now I can. Evidently.
I have a peculiarly possessive feeling on some level towards this phenomenon; it sucks but it’s my collapse and I have by god earned it.
Here’s a lullaby for you. Go to sleep now and it will look better in the morning.
(If you are not old enough for this song, I warn you I don’t want to hear about it, G):
Ooh-oo child
Things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child
Things’ll get brighter
Ooh-oo child
Things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child
Things’ll get brighter
Some day, yeah
We’ll get it together and we’ll get it all done
Some day
When your head is much lighter
Some day, yeah
We’ll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Some day
When the world is much brighter
Moving house makes heavy demands on you, and most people respond by going into a sort of ‘blinkered concentration’, where you focus on the tiring relentless work that simply must be done.
Maenwhile the toxins are building up in your body, until you finally allow yourself to relax. When all the held-in emotion suddenly pours out…
My elderly parents have both been quite ill recently. I got totally focused on to visiting them, arranging hospital trips, informing the rest of the family etc.
Then I wondered why I was way below my normal standard at computer games, couldn’t concentrate on reading (I love reading!) and felt tired all the time.
Stress
Talk to sympathetic people, especially those who know what you are going through.
Eat chocolate (well, that works for me )
Treat yourself to a luxury hairdo or a new pair of shoes.
Tell yourself that you are wonderful and competent and you will get through this.
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I just have a “bad brain day.” It’s sort of like a bad hair day, except instead of not being able to get my hair to do what I want, I cannot for the life of me get my brain to work properly.
Tomorrow will be better, especially if you get a good night’s sleep! Sleep will help with some of the symptoms of stress, and it is also critical in learning new skills. So watch your caffeine intake, go to bed at a reasonable hour every night, get up every morning at the same time, and before you know it you’ll have mastered all those keystrokes and be back in the saddle.
To answer the title of this thread I’ll go with march 15, 1987 at around 148pm eastern time.
Seriously though, sounds like you’ve been through a lot lately so a bit of confusion and disarray is not unusual. Hope the cry helped some, I know a good cry does me a world of good at times. Take care, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders overall.
I know the feeling of starting a new job and feeling overwhelmed and like you won’t get the hang of it. In a week or so you’ll be an old pro, but it doesn’t feel that way now. Hang in there, and don’t feel bad letting out some of the stress; crying feels nice sometimes!
Sometimes an early morning walk is good. Mostly, just be easy on yourself. Take some deep breaths now and then. Listen to the music that lifts your spirits and makes you want to move around a little. Try a cool shower.
)
