I had been a yo-yo dieter for 20 years, starting when I was a “fat” 140 lb high school sophomore. I would diet, lose some weight, stop dieting, gain the weight back, gain more weight, obsess endlessly over being heavy, feel like a loser, repeat the process. I weighed 200 lbs by age 35.
In 1999, I weighed 150 lbs and got a great new job. I love my job, but it’s very stressful and takes up a lot of my time. My job also has an awesome cafeteria. It was a combination of staying late at work and eating dinner out of the snack machine, not working out and basically just eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted (always the largest size of everything, too much pizza/fast food, big bowls of ice cream while watching TV, nachos and muffins, etc etc) - I ended up weighing around 200 lbs.
I spent a couple of years miserable with my weight - fantasizing and wishing I could lose weight. I knew I had to eat less and exercise more, but it just seemed like TOO MUCH WORK, I couldn’t get over my depression and unhappiness to make any kind of positive change.
I let myself go, quit wearing make up, quit buying clothes, I basically wore the same pair of size 18 loose fit Eddie Bauer jeans for 2 years. I let my hair go long and curly - I kept telling people I was planning to donate it to Locks for Love, but in my heart I knew I felt too unattractive to bother with my hair every day. I quit looking at myself in the mirror, or down at myself in the shower. I tried to make myself disappear.
In July of 2004, a couple of things happened. First, my size 18 jeans got tight. I couldn’t face the thought of buying size 20 jeans. Then, I was in a public bathroom and sat down and cut my outer thigh on a metal trash receptacle. I bled and I cried, I was too fat for a public bathroom (visions of seat belt extenders and being asked to get off a roller coaster flashed through my head). Finally, my mom insisted that I would come visit her for Christmas - she’s a naturally genetically skinny person, she had never seen me that heavy, I couldn’t bear to go to Texas and have her NOT mention my weight and talk around it for the entire visit. I was ashamed to go home.
I was in a bookstore and saw this book called Super Foods Rx: 14 Foods That Will Save Your Life by Steven Pratt. I was idly looking through it and what I read actually made me excited. The author thought that some foods were nutritionally more powerful than other foods - some foods could fight disease, maintain youth and prevent age-related brain degeneration (for the record, the super foods are blueberries, broccoli, beans, tea, walnuts, soy, oranges, tomatoes, pumpkin, yogurt, spinach, salmon, oats, turkey). The book was so exciting, I bought it - what happened next was pretty magical to me.
To me, “dieting” always meant a severe restriction in calories and attempts to be “perfect”. Two things always happened - I would restrict so much, my body would binge. I would feel like an out of control loser, a failure and just give up and return to my unhealthy eating habits **OR ** I would reach a goal weight and immediately return to the unhealthy eating habits that made me heavy in the first place.
When I decided to change my life, I carefully looked at my previous weight loss attempts to see why I kept failing. I noticed that I could lose weight but I could not keep weight off. This time, I concentrated on long term maintenance from from day 1. I had to give up that crazy idea I had been clinging to since high school - if you cut calories and lose weight, you can cut MORE calories and lose MORE weight. That fallacy is what made me go from a 140 lb high school student to a 200 lb 35 year old. Dieting made me fat.
I wanted this time to be different. No more being overly restrictive (no more 800 calorie days), no more diets that I would “start” and “stop,” it had to be sustainable. I needed a plan for what to do after I reached my goal weight.
I changed my life the day I bought the Super Foods book. I decided that day to completely change everything. I wanted to make changes to be healthier, to lose weight and most importantly to lose weight long term. I did not go on a diet, I changed my lifestyle - this is forever. Whole foods in, processed foods out, 5 veggies, 4 fruits, 2-3 dairy, 2-3 whole grain, 10 different super foods, protein with every meal, green and black tea every day, between 1400-1600 calories - I concentrated on what I should be eating. My goal is to eat whole, nutritionally powerful foods every day and avoid foods which are not good for me. I gave up the following foods forever - fast food, processed baked goods, sugary soda. I limit the following foods - booze, home made baked goods, fried foods.
I completely changed my mindset - I am not depriving myself, I am giving myself the gift of health. I now weigh 128 lbs. I went from a tight size 18 to a size 6. My waist went from 37" to 27", I lost 6" off each thigh. I have maintained my weight loss since March 2005. When I was heavy, I told myself a lot of lies - that it was genetics, destiny, big bones, that I was a “big girl.” The truth is - I was fat because I ate too much junk and didn’t exercise. Now that I don’t eat junk and exercise, I am a thin person. I wanted to “diet” for short term and then eat “normal.” I finally had to accept that my “normal” made me fat, I had to change my normal.
Changing my way of eating has given me so much more energy. I am constantly amazed by how good I feel, all the time. I have been sick one time since July 2004. When I was eating all that processed junk, I was drowsy and tired all the time. I used to fall asleep in my office every afternoon. I don’t feel that giving up processed foods is a deprivation at all, I feel amazing.
Sorry for the long post, after trying and failing for so many years, to be a successful maintainer for 2 years is nothing short of miraculous to me.
