You were fat; now you're not (or vice verse). Do you get treated differently?

I’ve been overweight my entire adult life (I’m 32) and quite a bit before that. Finally, I’ve decided to do something about it. I mean, I’m not a kid anymore, and I don’t know how long my body will put up with carrying extra me around before it rebels. Most of my reasons for losing weight are internal, but I am curious: Will I notice being treated differently after I lose the weight?

Please chime in with your insight and experiences, either as a treater or a treatee.

My story is a little old but apt…

I was in junior high, 7th grade. Over the summer I started on prednisone and got really fat. I was in a new school with strange kids and none of them wanted to be my friend.

fast forward to 8th grade same school and same kids. Over the summer I got off the prednisone and lost the weight and those little hypocrites wanted to be the ‘new girl’s’ friend.

I learned a lot about people and myself then. No we all didn’t become friends.

Same thing happened that year when I signed up for junior league bowling… kids I knew for years but didn’t really hang out with didn’t recognize me and wanted to be my friend.

I’m 6’ and have gone from 238 to 175. The only difference that I’ve noticed so far (it’s been a year and a half) is when a close female co-worker asked me if I hadn’t noticed the other women checking out my butt. I hadn’t, although it was nice of her to ask. :smiley:

It really depends…
obviously… with shallow people it matters…

I was never VERY overweight… but I was overweight to my standards… after I lost the weight (50 lbs) I was much more confident, so I acted differently around people… other than them acting different around me.
I think that is a big part of it… If you are uncomfortable with yourself, it will show in your personality. I think there are many nice people in the world that I never gave the chance because of a lack of confidence.
but of course some people treat you differently based on looks alone… It is hard to get around that. It is much easier to get respect right away when you are what people want to see.

I even notice things like that with clothing.
I usually get my hair cut at a local place after I go to the gym, one day I changed the order and got my haircut first wearing nice cloths instead of looking like a slob, and they treated me much differently. I thought it was pretty funny becayse I have been going there for about 8 years, but when you walk in like you just got out of a business meeting, people treat you differently.

In my experience, it is you who will treat other people differently, with more confidence.

In a word, YES.

Not everyone, and not all the time, but, as a generalization, YES. And if you are female, as I am, doubly YES.

In my mid-thirties, I gained about 30 lbs. in a relatively short period of time. This moved me, in my estimation, from “athletic” to “chubby”. All of a sudden I was invisible to men – not just socially but also in business situations, which is what really surprised me. It really forced me to question whether my success to date had been the result of my intelligence, hard work and sparkling personality ( :wink: ) or was just because of my shapely ass (again ;), but you get my drift). The response from other women was more muted, but noticeable nonetheless. And when you lose weight, a lot of people will notice and comment, which makes you think, “Wow, were they thinking I was a total blob before?” even if they say it in the nicest way.

It was an eye-opening experience and caused me to take a close look at my own reactions to larger people and make sure I wasn’t doing the same to them.

I’d like to say that this is only IME, but I’ve discussed the phenomenon with a number of female friends who had similar situations, and they all had similar experiences.

I’ll also add that this negative reaction was primarily from people who didn’t know me and only had the physical to judge by. My friends were my friends – before, during and after.

It may not be the same if you are male. We’ll see what other posters have to say.

Years back when I was in my 20s, my weight crept up for a variety of reasons. So I went on a pretty drastic diet to shed the extra pounds. All of a sudden I was being hit on - by married me!! :eek: As I let my weight climb again, they backed off. Defense mechanism, ya think?

I’m in the process of losing right now - in my old age, I’ve decided to take the threat of heart problems more seriously. So far, no one has noticed - at least, not that anyone has commented. But I don’t think I’m acting differently. I don’t fret about people’s opinion of me any longer. But we’ll see if I get treated more respectfully when I drop 30 more pounds…

Thanks for all the responses so far. Yes, wireless, I’m female (gonna change my user name, I think), and I suspect that makes quite a bit of difference.

I get a lot more sex now that the weight is off.

Hope that helps.

Seriously, y’all think it’s hard being a woman with “extra” weight? Try being a gay man. Invisible doesn’t even begin to describe the feeling.

Not by people I know, but by total strangers on the street. I get more looks and men opening doors, service people being solicitous, etc.

My friend here at work had the gastric bypass surgery. She’s lost over 100 pounds in a year. She looks different, to say the least, but I thought she was always pretty whether she was heavy or not. She told me that people talk to her more now, where they would ignore her before. She also felt that she was invisible to men when she was overweight, and now she’s getting checked out at the gas station and stuff. I know it must be weird for her to be treated differently, but she seems happy.

I’ve lost nearly 60 pounds in the past year. I haven’t noticed a difference yet; I’m still generally ignored and only a few people that know me have noticed my weight loss. But then I have another 140 pounds to go and I’m just now starting to be able to see the changes in my body for myself.

My dad is in the process of losing a good chunk of weight. I don’t know that he is necessarily being treated any differently, but folks who’ve known him for a long time but haven’t seen him in a while universally rave to him about how great he looks. That inspires him to keep going, which is just peachy as far as I’m concerned.

At 16 I was just over nine and a half stone. Over that summer I dropped to just below 8 and a half. I also dramatically shortened my hair and dyed it. My friends and family had dificulty reconising me, never mind the people at school! People whose name I didn’t even know all of a sudden knew mine. It was pretty cool.

I agree with Ginger - my friends and family still treat me the same.

It’s the men that ogle or whistle that are relatively new to me.

I’m not sure if that’s good or bad…

I’ve never lost or gained more than about 21lbs, but the odd times when I’ve lost weight it’s always other women who notice. Men’s reactions are unchanged.

Which rather confirms my theory that men are not nearly as bothered about slimness in women as women think they are.

I didn’t mention, but I used to get ogled before I started dieting. Now it’s more overt, and I find myself waving my wedding ring.

[self hijack]

Ah, but you see, mrsface, if you have only ever been 21 pounds overweight, you have not truly entered The Invisibility Bubble. I think it does matter to most men, but their definition of “too fat” is often way more relaxed than our definition. I suspect this partially because at one point in my life I was about 20 or 25 pounds away from the upper end of my ideal weight* and began getting noticed with fairly regular frequency by men.

*The upper limits of the “ideal weight” for my height would probably be right for me as I have the skeletal structure of a Clydesdale horse.

[/self hijack]

BTW, for all you non-Brits, I believe that what AngelicGemma said was that she went from about 135 pounds to 118 pounds or so.

I had gastric bypass and lost a total of 135 pounds. The only thing I’ve ever noticed is how I see me differently and how that filters through other people. Now, I’ve never been a great beauty or anything (although I hear that I clean up alright), but what comes across is my self-confidence now, versus self-loathing, and that’s what is responded to. Everyone is the same, from MHO.

In the past year, I have lost 50 pounds. I was 192 (5’4") and a size 14/16, and now I am a size 8/10. I have definitly noticed a difference.
I get hit on all the time now. And its really great guys too! But, I think the biggest difference is my perception of myself. I love the way I look, and I know that most show.