It had been fairly obvious for a while that we were headed for the end. She was out of control, paranoid and completely sociopathic. Physically abusing me while telling everyone else that I was abusing her. She had just decided to take her fourth trip away from me in less than four months. One of the trips had been to bail out on me over my birthday while the house was being remodeled, after promising me repeatedly that she would stick around until it was done and be present for my birthday (which she had pissed all over the year before by bailing out on to visit the same friend).
She asked me to leave the house on 5 minutes notice. Pack a bag and go to a hotel until I could find an apartment. I wasn’t to be allowed to return until SHE wasn’t afraid of me anymore. I had to go to anger management and anything else she decided to cook up. I couldn’t take anything else. None of my property, not my computer, not my 17 year old cat (which she had tried to convince me to have put to sleep only 5 months previous). Nothing. I asked about visiting my cat. She said “any time”. I said no, I’m not leaving.
The next day she repeated her request and when I asked about coming back to see my cats, she said “IF I feel like it, and IF I can find someone else to supervise you, and IF you are making progress, then I MIGHT let you come back once every month or two to see your cats.”
I said FUCK NO.
Then she started calling everyone in her phone book in alphabetical order, telling them the most outrageous lies about me. She got to my sister. My sister flew over as fast as she could get there. They sat on the porch and talked. My ex told her that I was physically abusing her. My sister said “I know my brother better than that, you’d better come up with examples”. Ex said “Well, two years ago he shoved me into a wall.” (not true, btw). My sister was furious. “I ask for examples and your first and best example is two years old??? You’d better have more!”. Ex says “The other day, he slammed a door in my face” (not mentioning that I did this after she had slammed that same door in my face three times, once hitting my arms). Sister asks “Did it hit you?” Ex says “No.” Any more examples? “No, but he’s been abusing me!”
Sister took me to the County Domestic Violence Center the next morning and I filed for an Order For Protection. Ex was removed from the house three days later. She responded by filing a buttload of false charges against me and filing for divorce. When we met in court, she tried to have me removed from the house. Fortunately, the judge said “No, you’ve been removed, I’m not about to reverse the situation just yet.”
I moved out of the house (it had been hers and was a complete shithole) and accepted the divorce filing, trying to move forward to a fast settlement.
I think that shocked the shit out of her. She refused to negotiate, continued to pile on outrageous charges, told everyone that I had abandoned her, filed for divorce against her, defrauded her (a poor woman on disability) of tens thousands of dollars and was attempting to steal her house.
Then she invoked Attorney-Client Priviledge to stop the attorney - her Step-father’s, paid for by him - from telling anyone the truth. When I finally made an end run around him and told her mother and step-father the truth, providing copies of documents and cancelled checks to show that SHE had filed all these charges, that it was SHE who had filed for divorce and that I had paid off roughly $40,000 of HER DEBTS…they threatened to disown her.
At which point she tried to run straight back to me, begging for sympathy, patience and compassion, because her step-father “the great white shark” was trying to destroy her and steal her house (they held the mortgage on it).