The vagina spoke? That’s some vagina!
Boy, a couple more stories like this and I’m gonna have to start rethinking my dislike of MMORPGs.
That’s pretty much the only way you can be completely sure she likes you.
God, you’re lucky. I rarely get chance to talk with the vagina—it’s always her bitchy gatekeeper of a secretary.
“How can she still be ‘unavailable’? Did you give her my message?”
Yes, but does the vagina speak with a Cockney accent?
This post is probably not a way to attract a woman, unless she’s also a big South Park fan.
In all honesty, short of a gay bar, I can’t think of an environment less likely to spawn a secure, happy, heterosexual relationship than an MMO. And I say this as someone who’s happy with their SO and happy about the way they met. Stick with dating sites or Craigslist if you want to meet people online.
Count me among the clueless - but when someone snuggles up to you while dancing, and then looks up into your face with big huge eyes and lips slightly parted, even the most dunderheaded dolt (yes, me) gets the hint. We were pretty good friends even before that, and I was attracted to her but hadn’t said anything, and I think it was a good thing that she made the first move, because I’d have just wallowed in indecisive agony forever. Women, as PG Wodehouse once said, are so much more perceptive in these matters than men are. Looking down into her face and feeling her snuggling up to me made a big huge light go Ding! in my brain.
In category B, we have the close friend for whom I had the serious hots, and she made my life a living hell through affectionate physical contact - just light touches, hugs, that sort of thing. I finally had to broach the topic and she admitted to what I’d known all along, viz. she’s just an affectionate touchy-feely person by nature, and didn’t mean it as a come on. If I hadn’t suspected that, I’d probably have done something daft like kiss her, and that would not have ended well. Hope springs eternal, though, and I spent a lot of time lying in bed (I’d go over and stay at her place about once a week) wondering if she actaully meant anything by it and was being disappointed by my lack of response. Hah! Fat chance. Affectionate physical contact in a relationship that’s platonic on both sides is all very well and good, but when one party wants more, it’s a real nightmare to have to keep it on this side of the line when the party of the second part rolls over and drapes her leg over you. She never said anything that would lead me to think she was suggesting more, which is why I knew that I was just being a wishful thinker.
I’ve come to realise that flirty and suggestive are very different things (I know, this is PhD-level thinking for a man in this context) and that I can now usually differentiate them successfully. I’ve often had flirty comments made in bars, and several girls (and, more worryingly, a larger number of men) have grabbed my ass while I’ve been dancing; apparently that’s acceptable here. Flirting I see as a sign of pre-interest, as it were - you might be interested in me, and you’re interested in finding out. No obligation, no expectation, and can be turned down gracefully with honour intact on all sides.
Light flirting, by which I mean laughing, mildly riqsue comments, eye contact, perhaps a very little touching I would interpret as just flirting, but ass-grabbing is definitely on the suggestive side of things. However, a friend of mine had a girl come up to him and start singing “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” except she replaced “fun” with “sex”. That’s fairly direct, and should work. He had a girlfriend, and therefore had to regretfully turn down her invitation. Then again, I’m a man and might have got everything in this post wrong - except for the first paragraph. I’m pretty sure she likes me. I ramble. Will close.
Too late, every time.
We worked together in the same department for about 7 or 8 years. For the last couple of years we shared the same office. We got along well together and only argued about work-related stuff. I don’t think either of us had the idea to date while we worked at the same place. Anyway, I wasn’t going to try it based on some previous “experience”.
Then, one day, I got fired. The next week, she invited me over to her place and raped me.
I wouldn’t say every time, but I did have more than one girl ask me, after we finally did “hook up,” why I didn’t respond the first four or five times she sent an obvious signal she was into me.
Hearing them listed then always made me feel even more dense. “Oh! Yeah, I remember that time. You were?”
Apparently they assumed I just wasn’t interested, but thankfully they persisted anyway until I figured it out. I wonder how many other opportunities I missed due to my obliviousness.
FFXI? ears perk up
What server?
—Shabet, 75 RDM, Cerberus
The only times I’ve known a girl has liked me is when she has outright told me “I like you” or has asked “Do you like me?”.
I’m quick to dismiss signals. I don’t like to be the guy that takes every nice gesture from a girl as a sign she’s into me. Sadly, even gestures such as someone giving me their phone number can make it into the “Nice Gesture” bin and not the “Courting” bin.
I had some idea that she wanted to be my little Razorette when she followed me home from work one night. Seems she’d been to a party, sprained her ankle, and claimed she couldn’t drive home in her brother’s '69 Cougar because using the clutch hurt her ankle too much. She could just as easily have had someone else drive her home, but she bore up under the agony enough to cruise around town until she found me, then followed me home. I did, of course, give her a ride home. It was the first time she ever called me her “knight in shining armor.” Her ankle healed amazingly fast. The next weekend we went boating with some friends of mine; on Monday she showed up saying she’d lost her driver’s license in my car. We tore my car apart trying to find it, but it just wasn’t there. She was wearing a short, tight skirt and a low-cut blouse, so I got flashed a lot as we wriggled around reaching under seats and behind cushions. (Silly girl – she’d “accidentally” left it on her dresser!) I pretty much knew by then that she was very interested – and, of course, so was I. She sealed the deal a couple of weeks later when I moved into a different apartment. It was a rush job, and I just sort of dumped all of my belongings in the middle of the living room of the new apartment and figured I’d sort it all out later. She helped me haul stuff from our cars to the apartment, then I had to go to work. When I got home at 11:30 that night, the apartment was neat as a pin, the bed was made, dishes put away and the refrigerator was stocked. And she was “asleep” on the sofa with a bowl of freshly-popped popcorn on the coffee table.
I love the stories so far in the thread, but I wonder if that is really what the OP is asking for? If so - well, then, never mind!
But the bottom line question is: what signs are considered clear statements of intent vs. clear statements otherwise (either not interested, or not related to intent)? **elfkin477 **- how’d I do?
If am remotely close - well, the answer is: the only clear statements of intent are…clear statements of intent. The verbal or physical equivalent of “grabbing your junk.” Many of the stories listed here have someone providing a clear statement of intent - and penis (or at least romance) ensues.
In terms of basic give and take flirting - well, there IS no clear statement of intent. Could be because they are expressing a subconscious desire they arent’ aware of yet, could be due to manipulative intent, could be that they are shy and sending up a flare themselves, etc.
By the same token, if the other person is fixated on you for whatever reason, you could come out with “boy the toilet needs fixing” and they would read intent into it. “Oh, you’ll find someone” is as un-intent as they get while still mentioning relationships in a generic sort of way, and you got boxed in…
So - to summarize: We realize someone likes us when they tell us, or we tell them and they respond positively. Period. Any gray-area subtlety leads to tragedies, sitcom plots or torch songs.
My $.02
I met this girl in one of my college classes. I was in the habit of drinking Lipton Iced Tea and carrying around a bottle of it. One day, she asked me where her’s was. The next day I brought one in for her. (Pretty obvious in hind sight) As time goes on, we continue to see each other in the halls after class. She always made it a point to say “Hi” (again, pretty obvious). I’m one of those guys that has suffered from low self-esteem and never thought I could be an object of interest and so I have probably missed many opportunities, unless they were as obvious as what happens next. I was hanging out with some friends in one of the lounges just chatting. (Star Wars: A New Hope was being re-released in the theaters). As the room thinned and as I was getting ready to leave, she said that she and some friends were going to see Star Wars. At first, I thought “Cool, she’s into Star Wars. I want to go see it too and soon” DING! (You see, I was oblivious to the fact that she was inviting me along without coming right and asking. It took a moment for this monkey to figure it out). So, in my smoothest I’m-asking-but-don’t-really-care-what-your-answer-is-but-I-really-do kind of voice I ask her if she minds if I come along. We make arrangements for when and where to meet. Turns out, she was the only one going. There were no “friends” going to see the movie. It was just us. We have been married for 9 yrs and she still insists that she didn’t ask me out and that there really were other friends who were going but who backed out.
Alexander, Autolycus, 75 THF, but I dont really play much anymore. I have my character b/c I chat with old friends sometimes. I cant bear to delete him :smack:
Daenerys, 74 BLM, Ramuh server (currently on hiatus).
Can’t say I agree with that. I’m happily in my 15th year with my SO, so I’m not looking. Over the last 6 years of playing MMOs there have been 3 guys I’ve met that I would have been interested in. Even after we got the “Really, I’m not looking, I’ve got a boyfriend” conversations out of the way, I’m still friends with 2 of them.
The last couple of steadies (or semi steadies), it happened at the goodnight kiss after a date. Offer a nice, gentle, but short (no tongue, no mashing) kiss, back up, and look in her eyes.
The “OMG is that all I get I want MORE” expression is unmistakable. 
It’s definitely confusing, considering that on these very boards we have threads about shy guys who never pick up on signals, and we’ve also had threads about “creepy” guys who just can’t take a hint.
I just don’t want to be that creep, so I’ll pretty much do everything in my power not to even bring attention to myself when I’m in the presence of an attractive female who’s a stranger.