It was a hot and muggy night, so Sniffs_Markers and I were enjoying some comfortable sleep in my air conditioned room. Oh, bliss! It was raining outside, and there was a little bit of lightening (strangely the thunder was quite soft.) It was a good sleep. A deep sleep. A sleep that you savour when you’ve finally escaped the humidity (oh, I love my air coniditoner.) But it would not last!
I was awoken by the Voice!
I sat bolt upright! My heart pounding in my chest. What was this? Aural night terror??
Again the warbling Voice! – Ethel Merman’s voice!!!
I desperately pawed at Markers in mortal fear.
“Ethel Merman! Ethel Merman! Ethel Merman’s in the house!!”
Ethel Merman is under the bed!!!.
The thunder flickered and ominous shadows sprang to life and then receded into the darkness. The raindrops on the air conditioner making a dull “tickety-tickety… tickety-tickety” noise like fingers drumming absent-mindedly on a desk. Silence… then –
With frightened resolve, I crawled to Marker’s side of the bed and peered over the edge – certain that Ethel’s crooked, long-dead zombie hand would snatch my arm and drag me into the shadows of the under-the-bed maw to Hell where the Spiders live… In the darkness I saw nothing… until lightening flickered across the sky! Black, beady eyes like piercing, iron bullets, and puffy, white cheeks "YOUUUUUUUUUUU! with whiskers – **“YOUUUUUUUUUUU!” **
Aw, hell! I just about shit my pants and it’s freakin’ FatCat, uncharacterisically caterwauling like a nasty old alley cat! Just sitting by the bed with a smug, self-congratulatory expression that makes him look like Michigan J. Frog singing “Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey!..”
Incredulous, I blurted out: “What the hell are you doing???” and he sauntered off to the living room (I swear he was on the verge of kicking his legs like the aforementioned frog.)
That was at 5 a.m. My alarm when off at 7:30. And I got NOT A WINK of sleep in between. I was way too creeped out!
Ethel Merman had possessed my cat! She can reach you from beyond the grave! Such is the power of her fury.