When, in a dating relationship, do you generally start having sex? Be honest.

When you start dating a new person, when do you generally start having sex?

Now I can not stress this enough. BE HONEST. I’m not wondering when you would LIKE to start to have sex, nor when you feel you SHOULD start to have sex. If you are a sex fiend and can not control your urges and you just have to get laid after a few dates, I don’t want you saying you wait till you fall in love, that is unless you actually do have enough self control to overcome your sexual urges.

Date # 3, or else we got problems.

I didn’t know that getting laid after a few dates = sex fiend. :dubious:

You reversed the logic. It’s not having sex after a few dates makes you a sex fiend. It’s being a sex fiend makes you want to have sex after only a few dates. And you definitely aren’t going to wait till you are in love.

I usually will let the female in the relationship more or less make this decision. While I certainly had my period of I want sex NOW, I am now at the point where I have no problem waiting. Most of the time it seems to happen about 3 or 4 weeks in. If it hasn’t happened within about two months I start pressing the issue.

Wouldn’t a true sex fiend have sex on the first date? Or even without a date - a one night stand?

Anyway, I’m amused that you’re admonishing Dopers to be honest about their sexual proclivities. Dopers have never been shy about talking about their sexual expericences in my experience.

I chose Other.

I go to bed with a girl (Yes I’m a guy damn it!) when it feels correct. It’s a per-person type thing for me. If sex on the first date seems right, so be it. If it doesn’t happen immediately, no problem, since part of the fun (and misery) of dating is meeting new people and chillin’ with them.

I don’t recall ever having a long lasting relationship with a broad who didn’t at the very least start with the touchy-feely on the first date.

I chose other. I rarely go on dates with people, I just sleep with them.

I would never want to have sex on the first date. If she has sex with *me *on the first date, she must have had copious sex with other dudes on first dates as well, and they were no doubt losers deluxe. If she makes *me *hold out for three or four dates, I can then assume that she is both virtuous and discriminating, and worthy of bearing my seed and receiving my love and affection.

At least, that’s how I rationalize it…TRM

I picked “after a few dates.” If it doesn’t happen after a few, then it just won’t happen and we stop dating.

I’m a married guy, but when I was dating I had to feel something emotional with my partners. I rember when I was dating there is this pressure for young guys to engage in this macho posturing on sex, but at some point I just realized who I am and how I wanted things to be. Just a big nerd.

Holy shit, I’m a sex fiend. Thank god you’ve enlightened me. Imagine if I’d gone through my entire life thinking that sex was a normal, healthy, fun thing for grownups to do. :dubious:

Theoretically I wouldn’t mind waiting; I’ve just never been asked to.


You fail at logic or reading comprehension. The statement is in the form “If you are a sex fiend, then you want to have sex after a few dates,” not “if you want to have sex after a few dates, you are a sex fiend.”

If you don’t believe me, try replacing the words:
It’s not [drinking water] makes you [dying of thirst]. It’s that [dying of thirst] makes you want to [drink water]
Your modified reply:
Holy shit, I’m [dying of thirst]. Thank god you’ve enlightened me. Imagine if I’d gone through my entire life thinking that [drinking water] was a normal, healthy, fun thing for grownups to do. :dubious:

There is a “wait until marriage” option, but why no “wait until AFTER marriage?” Some people like to take their time.

This is why I always make dinner on the third date.

My dating days are over, but generally it happened after a few dates. Some within hours, one not until a year or so (penile-vaginal). But typically it happened by the 3rd date or so.

I went with “After it’s clear we have some compatibility”. I think that’s a very good way of putting it, otherwise I would have come in here and said something like “after a few/several dates”.

There have been relationships that developed after we first had sex (maybe due to a crazy night on the town or something), and there have been relationships where we waited quite some time before we had sex. But in all of them (minus the one night stands, which are excluded from the “relationship” status), there has been a clear compatibility test that we meet before gettin’ nekkid.

I like the “couple of months” versus “few months” option. For the crowd who believes spreading your legs after four fortnights is the height of sluttiness, but waiting until the next fiscal quarter makes emotional and logical sense.