Please explain the Chernobyl disaster?
Sealed bids and collusion
Who uses millet?
Conscious experience is self-representational access to intrinsic properties
The merger of cereal crop ontology with general philosophy leads to some profound insights. When the use of millet is examined in the proper context of the self-referential von Neumann process, millet is regarded, in metaphysical phenomenology, as a “phenomenal experience”. Indeed, when my girlfriend had millet for the first time as a cooked breakfast cereal, she said it was the most phenomenal experience she’d had since that night in the back seat of my car.
What’s so special about Finnish milk?
Let’s talk knives!
Me and me droogies love the special Finnish milk with knives in it.
Texas Federal Judge strikes down FDA approval of the abortion pill
Let’s talk knives!
Tempers are running high.
Why is my cat rubbing her face on a bowl of lemons?
Food turning sour if you refrigerate it with a closed lid
Once the cat gets her saliva on it, the rest is inevitable.
What are your electric vehicle plans?
Hand and Finger Burn from Alcohol?
“You can take away my internal combustion engine when you pry it from my warm, burning hands!”
When we die, where does our blood go?
Kilz” primer (paint) - need answer moderately soon
Dang. When they named it “Kilz”, they weren’t joking. 
What to do with (most of) a day in Dallas?
I’m going to slit my throat with a straight razor (not literally)
This message brought to you by the Fort Worth Chamber of Commerce.
World Chess Championships are underway
Jesus is sitting on your couch…
“Sorry Jesus, but we’re watching the NBA playoffs instead. Want some more chips and dip?”
Could Hitler have succeeded in World War II if…
Streaking?
Must…get…brain bleach…
Any studies re: psychopathic behavior when they don’t have access to guns?
Streaking?
Russia invades Ukraine {2022-02-24} (Part 2)
Religion and waving penises around
Novel tactics, there.
Santa Family Reunion
Religion and waving penises around
One sort of Christmas spirit, I suppose.
It’s Tax Time in the MMP!
Religion and waving penises around
There’s an exemption for lots of things, but…
What animals would be more dangerous if enlarged?
What does testing someone for phobias actually involve? (for jobs)
“If you want to work for Best Pals Exterminators, you’ll first have to run our gauntlet of six-foot silverfish.”
“People are Domesticated Animals Now”: Man allegedly Reveals Why there no longer biologically adult males in the world
It is Time to Reintroduce the Draft
Simple enough, just install bouncy castles and water slides at all the military bases.
LEGO are pretty bad, right?
DIY vs hiring a pro
You’re always better off hiring a certified LEGO professional®.
Why do siblings compete?
Phone constantly short on storage space
“Mo-o-om, Johnny took the last gigabyte again!”
Short shorts for men
When a police officer asks “are you carrying?
Well, it amused me,
Core strength question
What is the best way to irrevocably destroy floppy disks?
With proper training, you just grab those suckers by the middle and rrrrrip.