So I was sitting out having a smoke at work. One of the women from the cage (I work in a casino) and a security guard were bickering at each other. They both have a lot of attitude and love giving each other shit.
So the woman said something that I missed. The security guard came back with ‘Yeah lady, my face and your ass…’
About 10 seconds went by before everyone burst out laughing. Which was followed by about 10 minutes of nearly hysterical laughter.
I was going to jump in with one just about like the OP, where my sister was the one who blew the slam. Oh well.
One other thing she said was “If I had a dog as ugly as you, I’d shave it’s ass and teach it to walk backwards…”
Fast forward a lot of years, where we are now both married. I had a Boxer that had a growth on her butt that had to be removed, so of course the vet shaved and excised the lump (it turned out to be impacted fur, BTW). I grabbed a pair of sunglasses, put them on the dog so they rested on the stub tail like a nose, and took a picture. I e-mailed it to her, and she got the joke right away.
When I was 11 or 12, I learned about the danger to the baby if a woman smokes while pregnant. As an older sibling, it was, of course, my endless quest to torment my little brother; so, armed with this new information, I said to my mother, with little brother present: “Now I know why LB is so stupid! You smoked when you were pregnant with him, right?”
Mom: “No, I quit when I was trying to get pregnant. I smoked when I was pregnant with you, though.”